Wise Women

This meditation I received today from the Center for Action and Contemplation really touched me. In the paragraph below, "Ever since I was a young girl...", could have nearly been my statement if a few things were changed.  Continue reading, and at the end I will add my final comments.

From Franciscan Richard Rohr, who suggests that there are good, beautiful, and true gems worth holding on to. At the same time, there are many unhelpful and even harmful parts of what has passed for Christianity that we need to move beyond. In his Daily Meditations, Father Richard helps us mine the depths of this tradition, discerning what to keep and what to transcend.

Friday, June 14, 2019, Feminine Incarnation, Wise Women, For the full posting go here.

Today’s reflection is by Mirabai Starr, drawn from her article in the Center’s spring newsletter and her new book Wild Mercy:*

Ever since I was a young girl, I have been irresistibly drawn to every religion I encountered. Born into a non-religious Jewish family, I had embraced multiple spiritual traditions by the time I was twenty and integrated them into my daily life: a deep devotion to an Indian saint, a daily Buddhist meditation practice, initiation into multiple Sufi lineages, a reclamation of the ancient beauty of my ancestral home in Judaism, and an unexpected friendship with Christ through the mystics, whose words I have since translated. Each of these paths has comingled in my being, creating a rich and robust spiritual soil.

Final comments
I rewrote this paragraph from my perspective,

Ever since I was a young man, I have been irresistibly drawn to every religion I encountered. Born into a less-religious LDS (Mormon) family, I had embraced multiple spiritual traditions by the time I was twenty-five and began to integrated them into my daily life: a deep interest in Buddhist meditation practice, investigation into Taoism, a reclamation of the beauty of my ancestral home in Mormonism, and an unexpected friendship with Christ through the (Catholic) saints, the Blessed Mother and modern theologians such as Nouwen and Merton, whose words I have since contemplated. Each of these paths has comingled in my being, creating a rich and robust spiritual soil. It is my desire to use this fertile soil to grow into a deeper relationship with my Father and begin to bless others like I have been blessed. - g. koerner


* Mirabai Starr, Wild Mercy: Living the Fierce and Tender Wisdom of the Women Mystics (Sounds True: 2019)

Image credit: Our Lady of Guadalupe (detail of the original image as it appeared on the tilma or cloak of Juan Diego when he experienced a vision of Our Lady on top of Tepeyac Hill, outside of Mexico City). The tilma is enshrined within the Minor Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City.

Holiday Greeting To My Friends at B.O.S.S.

Merry Christmas to my friends at B.O.S.S.!

I just wanted to check in and wish you Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

I like to check in every year or so, and as I've mentioned in the past - in 1979 I was a student in the month long BYU Youth Leadership 480, Course D-12 under Doug Nelson. It changed my life to this day. I was inspired to attend by my Dad, Karl Koerner who attended two years earlier, and at the time was the oldest person to complete the course at age 56. Wow - I'm 57! Where have the years gone?

Some of my life long memories of the course include:

• My 7-day solo spent in an overhang on the Escalante River. That inspired me to devote much of my adult life to study the outdoors, ecological theology, and share that with others in my career.
• To this day I still remember scrubbing my big #10 can in the river every morning and on my way back up the mesa would collect more Brigham Tea. One day a baby Rattlesnake greeted me by my shrub, so I gave him his alone time and found another bush to harvest.
• I remember laying by my fire, eyes fixed upon Polaris and through the night watch the Big Dipper rotate around that fixed beacon that always points north.
• I remember starting my fire in the first 30 minutes of my solo and while blowing on the embers getting a piece of glowing ash on my arm. I have a scar to this day, and it’s a sweet reminder of my days in the desert.
• Thanks to technology, I've deduced the location of my solo spot is N 37.774437° W -111.423868°
• I remember my ~13 mile run in from the river basin into Boulder. I think I came in 1st or 2nd! When I got to Boulder I called my family from the payphone for a nickel!
• I remember sharing pot holes of water with my brothers and sisters on our small group week. One of my buddies later got Giardia.
• I recall my breath taking traverse through Devil’s Canyon, knowing Butch Cassidy and his gang might have followed the same route.
• I’ll never forget my deep gratitude to God and for the sacrifice the sheep made of his life to feed our large group.

Does any of this ring a bell to you?  Since then I’ve had a number of friends and family attend the course upon my recommendation and it made a profound effect on their lives too. Professionally I work in Youth Development through the University of Florida 4-H Program. Here is a synopsis of the program I developed, in part by my experience with BOSS.

The Youth Ecology Series (YES!) is a unique University of Florida / IFAS / Brevard County Extension 4-H program for youth ages 10 to 16. The mission of YES! is to teach and inspire young people to learn about and conserve their natural outdoor environment with a combination of hands-on, classroom and field activities. The goal of YES! is to give young people a broad overview of our natural ecology and tangible skills to thrive and participate in nature and an appreciation for the methods of sustaining our fragile ecosystem. Side benefits of the program include having fun, meeting new people and getting to know some of our local outdoor treasure sites, organizations and related programs.

If any of you would like to participate in a consulting role to my programs I would welcome it. Feel free to share this letter, or parts of it with your staff and alumni. Give them my best and tell future participants they can do it! and are part of something very significant and that the program you deliver is having a positive effect on its students and beyond. 

Blessings to you all. 

Gus

This Officer's Duties

I'm starting to re-think my philosophy on prison reentry. Some prison inmates are just not ready for Rick Warren quotes on turning their life around.

This Officer's Duties
Standing outside the prison wire.
I am free, but those inside suffer dire situations that cost them
Their lives, families and hopes that oft' tire,

Over time some will adapt.
But some are apt to continue acts of desperation,
That worsen their situation of being trapped.

What's my role of a human with compassion?
To protect, teach and inspire with passion.
Duties of an officer not held in fashion.

But reflect a higher meaning of Care, Custody and Control, which I gave an oath to serve.

At One With Nature, My Journal Entry

This was taken directly from my journal, June 1, 2014 at 5:30 am while on Post Duty at work.

I need to set this up a bit.  Post Duty at the prison I work consists of alternating driving and sitting, always observing the facility for something that might look out of the ordinary.  Yes, it could at the worst be an escape attempt or break in, but other things that could arise too like someone wandering about when/where they shouldn't be, or simply a mechanical situation.  It can be extremely boring, driving 3.5 mph around a prison, looking at the same thing over and over for 4 to 8 hours per 12 hour shift, so I look for all that is happening around me.  In that time, I am extremely aware of the moment, noticing every sound, movement and potential smell.

This time allows me to get close to the surrounding nature as well.  Our facility is close to nature, so I get to see all kinds of animals which is always a highlight for me.  Here's my entry...

On Post duty, sitting in the car outside the prison, and get this! For the last 10 minutes I have been mocking the calls of a Mockingbird, just 10 feet away sitting on the razor wire inside the fence. (Whistling as I write, and I can hardly do so) This little guy goes on with a tune for a few seconds, then I mock him, and he mocks me.  It's incredible!  Never felt so one with nature, or experienced this before.

Also earlier on the other side I saw a brand new spotted baby Whitetail fawn and it's mama, still wobbly-legged, cute as could be.  I also saw tonight on this shift a big raccoon, I call Edgar, a possum, a Swamp Rabbit, and the other night I actually saw a mole, not on me, but the mammel kind about the size of a mouse, with a long nose.  These little guys dig in the dirt for grubs, and are famous for tearing up residential laws.  It's 6:30am now, and I'm observing a big black feral hog, digging up the ground, probably a 150 pounder.  Gotta go now, next shift employees beginning to arrive.

Nature surrounds us everywhere, if we'll only just take the time to stop, be still and observe.  What a great opportunity to count our blessings; realize an appreciate these spectacular creatures God has blessed us with.  Solitude can be our friend if we let it.

Dads and Their Sons, a Snapshot from 1972

We go through life learning from our parents. In the best of circumstances they teach you how to become a whole human being. In the worst of circumstances, they can also teach you what not to do. - actor Bryan Cranston,

From the TLC show, Who Do You Think You Are, sponsored by Ancestry.com: aired Aug. 2015.

I remember when I was a young boy I had a mixed relationship with my father. (I am speaking of Karl L. Koerner 1918 to 2000.)  I highly respected my dad yet part of me was afraid of him. He most always seemed distant and out of reach, but there were times when he was very supportive and kind and fun to be around. As I look back, the overall memory I have of my dad is a good one.  He was a good example of a man to follow who kept family and professional life balanced and who supported my mother and tried to do the best for us kids. Me being the last of six kids, I think he mellowed somewhat, or he just ran out of energy. Either way I understand how that can be.

My dad had a temper and when he would get angry you did not want to be in the room, but he also had a sense of humor, and could tell a corny joke and laugh at one like the rest of us. That part of me remains from his DNA.

As part of my job at the prison, I have the opportunity to counsel inmates.  Twice this past week, I spoke with incarcerated dads, trying to rekindle relationships with their sons.  After the conversation I thought about my relationship with my dad and sons. I ask myself what did I do right? What could I have done better with?  How can I improve?

Recently I found a notebook in the garage with my Dad's notes from our trip to Philmont Scout Ranch in July of 1972. In this particular slide (left), my dad is commenting on me and Chuck hanging our camp food between trees for the night to keep the bears from getting it.

Some quotes from his notes: July 5, 1972 - Gus and Chuck (Jaecks) putting up a Bear Pack something like this. I imagine if the Bears saw them do these things they would die laughing. I'm sure if they were hungry or they would get it down.

Notes like these from our parents are precious to family history.  I urge all my readers to keep them safe.

So how is this going to make me a better father?  I'm going to keep loving my kids, just how they are and supporting them in the paths their on.  If they want my advice I'll give it to them, otherwise I'll continue to urge them to do their best, stay close to God and honor their spouses and children.  I hope my kids can take my good qualities and emulate them, and my less desirable traits and be careful not to follow them.  Either way, in that way a dad can have a positive influence on his children.

- gus

Return to Escalante, Moments of Solitude

I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude. Henry David Thoreau

It has been almost thirty-seven years since I sat alone on the banks of the Escalante River in southern Utah. I was on my 31 day survival course called BYU Youth Leadership 480, still on-going yet privately run by Boulder Outdoor Survival School (BOSS). I need to describe the solo portion of our trip that we had the last week of the course.

The last seven days of the class I was completely alone, not seeing another person the entire time. I had no books to read or journal to write in. I had in my possession a bow and drill tool I made for starting fires, a woolen blanket, pocket knife, a coffee can I found in the desert for carrying water and cooking, a pound of wheat (seed), and a few honey packs I traded for with my pals earlier on the trip. My days consisted of keeping my #10 coffee can scrubbed clean by the sand in the river and filled with water by my small fire which never went out. For food I'd grind the wheat to make ash cakes and drink tea made from the native Brigham tea plants. What could have been boredom to some people, the seemingly endless hours of solitude, caused me to become acutely aware of my soul and the southern Utah sky.

Images: (above) I call my solo location Solace Overlook, which is located at N 37.774437 W 111.423868 (DD). On the state map, the red star roughly shows about where I was located on a larger scale.(right)

You can see the rocky overhang I slept under and sought shade with. At night cliff served as a heat reflector for my fire and faced in the perfect direction so I could watch Polaris throughout the night.

Returning to moments of contemplation of ourselves in this universe can center our inner beings and bring peace. It can ground us in the fact that our role in the world is much larger and more significant than we sometimes realize. Solitude can provide us with that opportunity, if we let it.

I’m reminded of a movie I saw that made a deep impression on me. My Dinner With André, 1981, is a conversation between Andre Gregory and Wally Shawn, both of whom were active in New York theater. One of the primary themes that got my attention was that sometimes we get lulled into daily routines and take for granted mundane things that bring us comfort and joy. This quote from Andre’ to Wally:

What does it do to us living in an environment where something as massive as the seasons or winter or cold, don't in any way affect us? I mean, we’re animals after all. What does that mean? I think it means that instead of living under the sun and the moon and the sky and the stars, we're living in a fantasy world of our own making… [And] comfort can lull us into a dangerous tranquility.

Solitude can cause one to look inward to realize not only their smallness, but the potential of their greatness and the greatness of our God in the universe. I like the way philosopher and theologian Paul Tillich addresses this by saying, Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone.

He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth. He breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the shields with fire. He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth… Psalm 46:9 (NIV)

For more insight on this, see the story Stillness and Silent Prayer by Debbi Geller, from Krista Tippett's OnBeing.org,  OnBeing is one of my favorite websites ever, and I'm glad I found Debbi's work. Thank you Krista and Debbi.

I hope you get to enjoy your own version of stillness and solitude. Feel free to leave a comment and tell me of your experiences in solitude or follow me on Twitter @guskoerner.

- gus

Post Script. What I didn't mention in this story but wanted to...1. How I got my fire started. 2. The rattlesnake that kept me from getting my tea leaves. 3. The fellow student that went home early because he cheated. 4. How beautiful the Big Dipper is when it rotates around the North Star. 5. The 13 mile run-in from the Escalante River to Boulder, UT. Perhaps another time.

Thank you for Tomorrow

It's been a while since I posted last, and I try to remind myself of the primary purpose of this blog. This is my journal that I share with others.  Although sometimes my ego gets the best of me and revels in the fact that a particular article may get a few hundred "reads", this journal is to record my thoughts and feelings.  If others can relate to what I write, or find some comfort in my words that is all the better.

The following poem is on the dark side, but don't get confused with my words - I'm filled with joy.   Sometimes I just have days of contemplation where I wonder of could or could have done something different to reach my full potential.  I put my faith in God and my best to do the next right thing.  I look back on my past as a text book to learn from, not making the same mistakes again, and repeating behaviors that bring joy to me, my family and others.

The Man I Could Have Been (Thank you for tomorrow)

Father, help me to be true to myself, to others.
Help me to follow in Your ways and not look back,
Help me to see and tend to the needs of my brother.
Help me to love another as You loved me.

The man I could have been,
The man I should have been.
If I only could have met my potential
For the things that were essential.

Been the son that was always there,
The brother to my flesh,
The friend of those who befriended me,
A loyal man to prove the test.

The man I could have been,
The man I should have been.
If I only could have met my potential
For the things that were essential.

If I could have worked harder on being a good father.
Studied more for the degrees that keep the score.
If only I could have been the man who loved my wife,
Like Christ loved the Church more than His life.

The man I could have been,
The man I should have been.
If I only could have met my potential
For the things that were essential.

Thank you for tomorrow.

Gus Koerner, July 7, 2015.

Just Before the Last Supper

As Good Friday approaches I contemplate the last days of Jesus Christ before he was crucified.  In particular this year, I have compassion for Judas, yes the Betrayer of our Lord.  If he had not given Jesus up to His pursuers, someone else would have and then we would be blaming them.  Was Judas a necessary part of the eternal plan?  I don't know.  How did he feel afterwards?  (I'd love to read your comments on this.)

The Gospel of John 13:1-2 (NRSV)

Now before the festival of the Passover, Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart from this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. The devil had already put it into the heart of Judas son of Simon Iscariot to betray him.  Shortly after this, Jesus washed the feet of the disciples and broke bread with them, knowing in advance of the betrayal.

I wrote this poem, considering the plight of Judas Iscariot, and the guilt he must have felt.

"Cinder blocks tied to my ankles, ropes bind my hands.
I sink below the surface, feet down to the sand.
I stretch to reach the light above.
Gasping, but not enough air.
God help me up and free me, out of this despair."

I'd also like to share some of the words of this song How Can It Be, By Lauren Daigle which is popular right now on Christian radio.

I am guilty

Ashamed of what I've done, what I've become

These hands are dirty

I dare not lift them up to the Holy one

You plead my cause

You right my wrongs

You brake my chains

You overcome

You gave Your life

To give me mine

You say that I am free

How can it be

How can it be

I cannot leave this story on a guilt laden note of sorrow, because it does not end there!  The story continues in John 13:31 to verse 35 and gives us The New Commandment...Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

Jesus shows His disciples, even Judas Iscariot and Simon Peter who betrayed Him that His love was greater than the price of their betrayal.  Shouldn't we do the same?  Can I do that?  God please help me, not for my sake, but to follow you and be a Christ example to someone who does not know Him.

The Story of the Wayward Son Has Daily Implications

It seems almost daily I am impressed with the message of this story.  I've written about it before, but this time is different. See this story from 2012.

Recently I offended someone I dearly love.  They snapped back in response, and then I was offended by what they said to me.  This is life, and humanness at its finest!

My paraphrased version the story in Luke 15 is about a young man who wasted his inheritance on extravagant living, then came home with nothing.  He was judged harshly by his brother, but forgiven and loved by his Dad.  It raises the question to me of who was more at fault, the wasteful or the judgmental brother.  Implicitly the story points us to the example we need to follow is that of the father.  All of us will at some time do foolish things, and we will also judge those who do the same.   Sometimes the only consequence comes to the ‘lawbreaker’, but those who cannot mentally or emotionally place themselves in the other’s position, risk self-righteousness which is unjustified in any case from an eternal perspective. Who am I to cast the first stone?  The one we should be trying to emulate is the father in this story; loving and forgiving those who err in spite of their actions.  That is what the message Christ bids us to follow. (see image credit below)

In the dictionary, the word prodigal is characterized by profuse spending, so much so that it could be described as wasteful.  In this story all three characters go to prodigal extremes in their behaviors.  Which person best describes your actions and behavior lately?

Read this story again from the point of view of a person you have offended or been offended by…

The Parable of the Prodigal and His Brother, from Luke 15:11-32 (NRSV)

11. Then Jesus said, “There was a man who had two sons. 12. The younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of the property that will belong to me.’ So he divided his property between them. 13. A few days later the younger son gathered all he had and traveled to a distant country, and there he squandered his property in dissolute living. 14. When he had spent everything, a severe famine took place throughout that country, and he began to be in need. 15. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed the pigs. 16. He would gladly have filled himself with the pods that the pigs were eating; and no one gave him anything. 17. But when he came to himself he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired hands have bread enough and to spare, but here I am dying of hunger! 18. I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; 19. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me like one of your hired hands.”’ 20. So he set off and went to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him. 21. Then the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22. But the father said to his slaves, ‘Quickly, bring out a robe—the best one—and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23. And get the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; 24. for this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!’ And they began to celebrate.

25. “Now his elder son was in the field; and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. 26. He called one of the slaves and asked what was going on. 27. He replied, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fatted calf, because he has got him back safe and sound.’ 28. Then he became angry and refused to go in. His father came out and began to plead with him. 29. But he answered his father, ‘Listen! For all these years I have been working like a slave for you, and I have never disobeyed your command; yet you have never given me even a young goat so that I might celebrate with my friends. 30. But when this son of yours came back, who has devoured your property with prostitutes; you killed the fatted calf for him!’ 31. Then the father said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32. But we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and has come to life; he was lost and has been found.’”

Image credit - this image is by the Japanese artist Soichi Watanabe, titled “The Prodigal Son Returns which was on display at the Yale Institute of Sacred Music, 2009.  More on this artist.
The photo originally on this post was removed due to copyright infringement.  Mr. Watanabe will be paid a fee prior to me posting it again.  In the meantime, please see the link above.

My Call To Serve

A common thread that has run through my life is the profound love of God and ability to work with people, and organizations that serve our community.

I was raised by loving Christian parents in the suburbs of Fort Worth, Texas.

When I was a young man I had no idea what a calling was, not to mention what mine was to be. At the age of 16, I gave my life to Christ, and approached my pastor with the desire to go into the ministry. I felt love and unity from fellow Christians and the blessings of service.

Because of family religious pressure, my passion to become a minister soon became discouragement.

Years later that I realized that no matter what my situation or profession was, I could still be a minister of Christ and family pressures would not impede me.

I can now see I was being called, even from an early age to serve God. It wasn't until I started working with at-risk children, challenged youth and prison inmates that I felt strongly about using my profession to serve God and share His love with others.

I realize my Heavenly Father has woven a tapestry with my life, giving me opportunities to use these gifts for His kingdom, among my brothers and sisters.

Letter of Request for the Ministry

United Methodist Church
FL Atlantic Central Conference
9015 Americana Road, Suite 4
Vero Beach, Florida 32966-6668

Dear Reverend (Name withheld)

Over the last several months I have been working with my Pastor, Reverend C. in the ministry inquiry process, reading, completing assignments and discussing with him the books, The Christian As Minister, and Understanding God’s Call – A Ministry Inquiry Process.  I have also done extensive reading, writing, serving and reflecting on my own, including responding to the Spirit in my online journal MrGus.net, a public website to share my reflections.

A common thread that has run through my life is the profound love of God and ability to work with people, and organizations that serve our community.  When I was a young man I had no idea what a calling was, not to mention what mine was to be.  At the age of 16, I gave my life to Christ, and approached my pastor with the desire to go into the ministry.  I felt love and unity from fellow Christians and the blessings of service. I was raised in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and because of religious pressure, my passion to become a minister soon became discouragement.  It wasn’t until years later that I realized that no matter what my situation or profession was I could still be a minister of Jesus Christ and family pressures would not impede me.  I can now see I was being called, even from an early age to serve God.  It wasn't until I started working with at-risk children, challenged youth and prison inmates that I felt strongly about using my profession to serve God and share Jesus Christ with others.  I realize God has woven a tapestry with my life, giving me opportunities to use these gifts for His kingdom, among my brothers and sisters.

At this time I would like to officially commit myself to the service of God, by serving His children formally as a Pastor and Chaplain.  I respectfully request you consider my application for candidacy for ministry within the United Methodist Church.

Respectfully,
G.A. Koerner

Journal Entry - I Am. (Who are you?)

This entry was originally written June 14, 2014. Warning - Journal entries are less consistent and are more just thoughts on a page, but I want to include them, pointing out an overall theme.  

The theme below answers the question, "Who am I?"  

They aren't  just random words, or descriptive words with their opposites.  I own each and every one of them in some way, or have at some point in the past.  Some of the words are dark, some encouraging.  As you read them, ask yourself, Is that me?  I encourage my readers to make their own list.  Who are you?  Really?  (Family and friends, don't freak out when the words get dark.  I'm really okay.)

Journal, June 14, 2014, 1:45 AM - I have been deeply considering who I actually am. First, I would like to start with my Creation Statement I developed back in 1992 while on a self-knowledge retreat.  I may phrase it differently today, but it is what it is...  I am a warm, inspiring, beautiful man.  But I am, or have been depressed, encouraged, hopeful, anxious, worried, sad, shameful, 24601, brave, nervous, suicidal, obligated, a father, a husband, a brother, a son, addict, recovering, giving up, carrying on, strong, faithful, consistent, determined, selfish, aware, present, grateful, jealous, forgiving, begrudging, willing, hoping, doubtful, dedicated, loyal, trustworthy, untrustworthy, reverent, trusting, weak, conscientious, tired, cynical, impatient, annoyed, grateful, blessed.

Random thought -  I want to write a book, Sacred Earth.

Back to I Am...  I am woodsman, outdoorsman, navigator, mapper, sleep deprived, friend, lethargic, swimmer, dog daddy, teacher, instructor, shooter, archer, napper, facilitator, counselor, friend, lawn mower, tree trimmer, confidant, manipulator, honest, liar, unworthy, worthy, Mormon, Catholic, Methodist, Presbyterian, contemplative, helpful, courteous, kind, unclean, officer, writer, reader, thirsty for knowledge, web surfer, caring, cooperative, learner, leader, follower, homesick, moody, sad, faker.  I am Jean Valjean.  Comedian, silly, kidder, over analyzer, lonely, law abiding, distressed, Javert, Younger brother, Older brother (Luke 15), mortal, repentant, forthright, bigot, accepting, forgiving, deceiving, nature lover, non-enduring, fatalistic, deaf, winner, loser, nerd, old, sneaky, sexist, gay friendly, homophobic, racist, slothful, hardworking, sacrificing, complaining, pessimist, optimist, sailor, knot tyer, dipper, stargazer, humble, arrogant, demanding, self serving, bald, overweight, can-doer, drop out, forgetful, pro-choice, republican.

Human.

Obsessive, compulsive, limitless, limited, shortsighted, visionary, spiritual, religious, anti-authoritarian, superficial, deep rooted, moderate, conservative, moderately conservative, risk taker, health aware, over-indulgent, sinner, redeemed, forgiven.

Who are you?  Who do I want to be?  With this knowledge we can change the outcome.

End Note: My wife shared with me this week what they teach the kids in vacation Bible school.  They have the kids look in the mirror and say to themselves, "You are God's Masterpiece because of Jesus."  I like that.  We need to remember we're all God's children, and he don't make no junk!

Feel free to add your comments, share with your friends and follow me on Twitter @guskoerner or @VOTMinistry.  I'm not too good with Facebook.

What Code Do You Live By?

Almost from birth we're instilled with words of wisdom to live by, and eventually they become the foundation and building blocks for our lives.  Some children are raised with parents who teach them to be kind and respectful, as in "Be nice to others, be honest, tell the truth, work hard." To others that is less of a priority.  Some parents teach this with loving kindness, others teach it with brute force, as in "Do what I say!"  What ever the situation, our foundation of behavior, either learned by word or example by our caregivers is established in the early, formative years of our lives.

In elementary through high school we said the Unites States Pledge of Allegiance every day as part of our routine.  This became a code for me, and perhaps a lot of kids from my generation.  When I was a scout, about age 14, I had a respected youth leader once say, "Fake it til you make it." this stuck with me and I so I often put on an air of cheerfulness even when I am not feeling it.  When I was nearing the end of my Corrections Academy I held up my right hand, and pledged to uphold, support and protect my fellow citizens and do my duty as an officer.  These are some of my codes.

The code or codes that we live by establish the people we become and are the formative grounds for our overall character.  We either do our best or we don't.  We're honest, or we're not.  We follow the teachings and philosophies of some people or others. We're the only ones who truly know what our own codes of conduct are, and if they are in alignment with the betterment of society and our fellow man or not.

I say I follow Jesus.  But do I?  Martin Luther King, Jr. inspires me, but do I treat others, especially those of different races with the same respect Dr. King preached about?  This is an area of self examination and reflection for me on a regular basis, as it should be for all of us.  The code that I hold most dear and reflect upon often is from the New Testament, the words of Jesus, the foundation of my faith.  Let me include it here, from the book of Mark, Chapter 12: 28-34. (NRSV)

One of the scribes came near and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, he asked him, “Which commandment is the first of all?” Jesus answered, “The first is, ‘...you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” - Source: BibleGateway.com

I challenge all my readers, especially family members and my kids to look inward and think about the codes of life you were raised with, taught and adopted.  Are those codes in alignment with your core beliefs?  If not, make new choices to live a life that reflects your core beliefs and that uplifts others.

So what codes do you live by?

Coming next Thursday in a related story, I will write who I am, and will ask you the same question.  Please feel free to leave your comments, and share this with a friend. - Mr. Gus

Music That Moves Me

Sometimes we hear words so profound we remember them for a lifetime, and occasionally we can recall the exact time, circumstance and location of when we heard a particular quote.  Indeed, sometimes those words can have a profound affect upon our life.  Like Kennedy's challenge to go to the moon and beyond when he said, "...We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard..." (9/12/62).  This speech didn't move me so much, as it moved our nation to step-up together to build our space program.  That is the most inspiring result of that quote to me.  It's been a long time since our nation has been moved in a positive, peaceful direction in that way.

About seven years ago at 4-H Camp I asked a ten year old little country boy about a particular song, I think we were talking about rap music, Britney Spears or some pop music topic, and he said, "The music moves me, but it moves me ugly."  I laughed and laughed.  I'll remember that for a lifetime, especially the way he said it, in a shy, kicking the dirt reaction.

Music has always been a huge part of my life, and I've never been bound by a particular genre.  Like Kennedy's or Martin Luther King Jr.'s speeches or so many other great people, art and literature in any form can touch our soul and raise us to greater heights or soothe our broken hearts.  Music is art and literature in a combined form, and it can give us hope and motivate us to go on when we may otherwise not be able to.  Music can be something we can relate to, knowing that the artist is speaking of an experience we're living out or have been through.

Below is my current, but not complete list of songs that move me or have played a significant part of my life.  Even though the first iteration of this list is May 2014, I'll be updating it over time.  After the top five, the rest of the listed alphabetically by song name.  I'd love to hear some of your comments about my particular choices!

1) Night Riders Lament, Jerry Jeff Walker
2) Wild Montana Sky, John Denver, Emmylou Harris
3) Voice of Truth, Casting Crowns
4) Testify To Love, Avalon
5) It Is Well With My Soul, Horatio G. Spafford
6) Mary's Boy Child, Boney M

Battle Hymn of the Republic, esp. verse 5, Mormon Tabernacle Choir and others
Blackland Farmer, Frankie Miller sung by Elizabeth Cook
Broken Beautiful, Ellie Holcomb
Cajun Moon, Ricky Scaggs
Cherokee Maiden, Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys
Christ Has Risen, Matt Maher
Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue, Toby Keith
Doxology/Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow, Ken Thomas 1674
Guacamole, Texas Tornados
Here I Am, Downhere
Hey Baby (Que Paso?), Texas Tornados
High Hopes, Frank Sinatra, 1959
I Dreamed A Dream, Anne Hathaway ver., Les Misérables 2012
If I Could Only Win Your Love, Emmylou Harris
I'll Do It All Over Again, Crystal Gayle, 2008
In My Daughter's Eyes, Martina McBride, 2003
In The Garden, C. Austin Miles  / Alan Jackson
It's a Great Day To Be Alive, Travis Tritt
King of the Road, Roger Miller
K-K-K Katey, Billy Murray
Knee Deep, Zac Brown Band
Lead Me, Sanctus Real
Little People, Les Miserables Original Cast
London Homesick Blues, Gary P. Nunn w/Jerry Jeff Walker
Meet Me In Montana, Marie Osmond and Dan Seals, 1985.
Morning Has Broken, Cat Stevens
My Favorite Things, Sound of Music, Original Soundtrack
Old Hippie, The Bellamy Brothers
On My Honor (Boy Scout hymn) by Harry Bartelt
Overcome, Jeremy Camp
San Antonio Rose, Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys
Some People Change, Montgomery Gentry
Stuck Like Glue, Sugarland
Telephone, Lady Gaga (PG-13 video)
That's Right You're Not From Texas, Lyle Lovett
The Auctioneer, Leroy Van Dyke
The Battle of New Orleans, Johnny Horton
The Likes of You Again, Flogging Molly
When I Get Where I'm Going, Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton
Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning, Alan Jackson
You Are My Sunshine, Jimmie Davis and Charles Mitchell, 1939
You Never Even Called Me By My Name, David Allen Coe

47 songs above, last edited October 18, 2014.

I Used To Hate Christian Music

There was a time in my life that Christian music turned me off.  If it came on the radio, it would immediately get changed, to more than likely country or NPR.  Then one day, one of my best friends Gayle, a University of Florida County Extension Agent was going on and on about this group Avalon, and how they were playing in Orlando.  As I recall, it was about October 2005, and I think she even got out of a work detail to go see them.  Because of that interaction with Gayle, it made an impression causing me to to think, "hey, if she thinks they're this good, I'll give it a listen."

When I finally heard the song Testify to Love, it made such a deep impression that I'll never forget.  The song means to me, the very crutch of what it means to be a Christian.  For Mr. Gus, being a minister of the Lord, a Christian, an evangelist, a pastor or chaplain or a good neighbor (in the biblical sense) means simply that I testify to love, showing Christ's example in everything I do.  It's not about living within the confines and structure or a particular religion, but following the example of the world's ultimate example of love. Since that time I have grown to love Christian music for what it represents, namely nurturing a relationship with God, showing gratitude for all things including challenges and taking care of what matters most which is our relationships with others, especially family.

Thank you Gayle for your witness to Christ by publicly sharing your passion for music with your colleagues at work.  I'm forever grateful that you testified to love.  Below are the lyrics, credits and how you can buy the song.

Testify to Love

by Avalon

All the colors of the rainbow
All the voices of the wind
Every dream that reaches out
That reaches out to find where love begins
Every word of every story
Every star in every sky
Every corner of creation
Lives to testify

Chorus
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silences
When words are not enough
With every breath I take
I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love

From the mountains to the valleys
From the rivers to the sea
Every hand that reaches out
Every hand that reaches out to offer peace
Every simple act of mercy
Every step to kingdom come
All the hope in every heart will
Speak what love has done

Chorus 3 times

Writer(s): Henk Pool, Ralph van Manen, Robert T. Riekerk
Copyright: Universal/Mca Music Holland B.V.

Album: A Maze Of Grace, available on iTunes, Play Store or your favorite music vendor.  Google the song, and it will pop up on YouTube to hear it for free.  Like this link.

On Post (For Peace)

The still of the night is only disturbed by the rush of traffic on my left, and the knowledge of people held behind razor wire on my right. But still there is an eerie peace, albeit false.  How can anyone or anything be at ease in this environment?

My mind wanders beyond this location to be back at home for stillness, rest and peace.  But is it there? I'm a frayed knot.

For amidst the shelter of a roof and protective walls, is a spirit of discord that has arisen from the conflict of every day life.  "My peace I leave with you." He says.  But where?

God grant me the ability to be an instrument of peace wherever I am.  Help me to know what I experience is normal, and peace comes from within, from our Savior.

Whether my surroundings are walls or wire, open air or the presence of others, let your serenity flow through me I pray.

G. Koerner, Jan. 6, 2014, 9pm.

His Touch

1. I work my hands and the far reaches of my mind, to be the best I can. But yet I find, my efforts fall short of what I am supposed to be, what I was meant to become.
But somehow I move forward, somehow I progress, and in every step find loveliness and the touch of His holiness.

2. I've made peace with the cards I've been given, with the man I've been called to be. Realized that being forgiven is something that was meant for me.
And somehow I'll move forward, somehow I'll progress. In every step find loveliness in the touch of His holiness.

3. I realize grace in every moment. Try to accept it for the man that lies within. Knowing that what's in store can be more, if I give my life to Him.

I'm determined to move forward, somehow I'll progress. In every step find something lovely in the touch of His holiness.I'm determined to move forward, somehow I'll progress. In every step find something lovely in the touch of His holiness.

(Final) I am the man I'm supposed to be, finding grace in every step.  I know that it will get better, every inch a little closer, as I walk toward the man from Galilee.

G. Koerner
Jan. 1, 2014, 10:00pm

Are you contemplative?

Are you contemplative? Perhaps you should be.

To contemplate means to look at or view with continued attention; observe or study thoughtfully, consider thoroughly - making a quiet time for ourselves.  I've done this regularly for as long as I remember, sometimes in a positive way, sometimes not.

Recently I've been introduced to the writings of Therese Borchard who blogs Beyond Blue on Beliefnet.com.  She is also the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes and The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Guide.  I absolutly love her work because her stories and humor draw me in like she's speaking only to me.

In one of her articles I just discovered, Be Still … No Really, Be Still: An Interview with Anne Simpkinson (full article), contemplation is addressed...

Therese: I just wrote a piece on vacations and came across some literature that said, as much as we talk about wanting to change our environments and chill out for a week or two, most of us are incapable of doing just that, and scared to, actually, because it creates a kind of uncomfortableness of sitting with silence and tapping the desires of our heart. Can you speak to that?

Anne: We are bombarded daily with noise, information and activity. So yes, in that environment, it’s difficult to listen deeply to our innermost selves. Quiet, contemplation and silence can make people uncomfortable because they are not used to it. And yet, silence is like a deep, refreshing well that can buoy you in difficult times, ignite your creativity, deepen your faith, give more meaning to your life.

The only thing I'd like to add is, what being still of mind can do for us spiritually.  When we consider things of life deeply, with an intent to do God's will and a desire to follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit, these times can be of great benefit to us and those near.  Often in my quiet times I will ask myself, What is God's will for me in this situation? or What can I do to improve myself? or Is there anything I need to make amends for or repent of? I hope you'll take the opportunity to get some quiet time, especially in regards to the meaning of Easter for you and your family this season, and how you can better fill the role God has called you to.

Final note: I would consider Trappist Monk, Thomas Merton one of our modern fathers of what contemplation is all about.  I've read some of his work, and intend to go to the library for more.

My Spiritual Journey - My Children, Part 7

To all my children, step-children and grandchildren - As I stated in the introduction, one of the primary reasons I wrote this story and declaration is to let you have something tangible of where I stand in my faith. As you were growing up I sent mixed and most likely confusing messages, with my actions not following my beliefs. At times I have been confused in priorities and a hypocrite, and now in some ways feel like a Prodigal Son. Please forgive me.  Become familiar with that story in Luke chapter 15, because we all fall at times. Some things I would do different if I could go back, but on the other hand I feel God has a purpose in everything. He works with the humanness within us to make our lives rich and unique.

I urge you to get to know God and build a relationship with Jesus Christ. In spite of what people do, realize that God is in control and all things work together for the good, no matter what. Use your life lessons and challenges as stepping stones on a path to wisdom. Most of all, I pray you will "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself." Be accepting of others, but do the next right thing. Ask for help when you need it, especially from your Heavenly Father. Be grateful for things large and small, even when you don’t want to. I want you to know that I believe in God, and Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I pray that my actions may follow my words, and we may lift each other up when one of us stumbles.

My Spiritual Journey - My Early Years as an Adult, Part 4

My senior year in high school I was as active as ever in my new Christian faith. I began to ignore my mom’s requests to attend Mormon events. I had no desire to go, nor did I even know anyone there. All the while I could see how much it meant to her.

Before graduating high school (1977) I went to my Presbyterian church and spoke with the pastor. I felt I was being called to the ministry. We discussed it, and he with the church leadership and I prayed about it. A few weeks later I was notified by mail that the church had awarded me a $1500 scholarship to college, and made arrangements for me to go to Austin College, a liberal arts Presbyterian school in Sherman, Texas. So I did.

At college I was a Pre-Theology Major and studied mostly general education, but I also took classes to apply toward seminary. I wasn’t a very good student in math or science, but I excelled in the Christian and theology classes. Philosophy and religious history fascinate me to this day. In the dorm I was very much distracted by partying and goofing around. I seemed to slip away from my Christian friends and go more toward people who had little to no belief in God. I stayed away from my family completely, because every time we spoke they would express their disappointment in my religious choice.
After my first year of college (September 1979), I attended a class at Brigham Young University at the recommendation of my father. The class was Youth Leadership 480, Outdoor Survival. YL 480 was comparable to Outward Bound, an extreme survival course and just as rigorous, but had higher morals and spiritual-academic components. The reason I am including it here, is that it was a life changing event, and probably had the greatest short term impact on my life thus far.

On survival about thirty of us spent 29 days in the desert of southern Utah, learning the survival skills of great outdoorsman Larry Dean Olsen. We hiked over 450 miles in that month and survived on miniscule amounts of food and water. I drank from potholes and learned to eat bugs. We worked together as large and small communities, as well as alone. During part of our trek, we were able to spend seven days completely alone along the banks of the Escalante River without books, tools or hobbies. The only conversation we had was with ourselves or God. It was at this point where I decided to show my parents and family respect by following their advice and go on a LDS mission. I didn’t want to be a disappointment to them. They told me it would help me make up my mind in regards my faith, and I tended to agree. Now I can see they probably thought it would convert me back to their faith, once and for all. Only God knows our motives sometimes.