My Soul Is Well

As the reader, I hope you remember I write this blog as my journal; not for you per se, but for me and my family and I give you a glimpse of what is important to me through my stories. This song is one of the most important pieces of poetry (hymns) in my life, not just because of the words, but the story behind it all.  What do we have to fear that someone else has not experienced? Mr. Spafford is one of the top 5 people I want to meet if I go to heaven because of this faith building song.

Here is the story behind this song...

Horatio G. Spafford was a successful lawyer and businessman in Chicago with a lovely family — a wife, Anna, and five children. However, they were not strangers to tears and tragedy. Their young son died with pneumonia in 1871, and in that same year, much of their business was lost in the great Chicago fire. Yet, God in His mercy and kindness allowed the business to flourish once more.


On Nov. 21, 1873, the French ocean liner, Ville du Havre was crossing the Atlantic from the U.S. to Europe with 313 passengers on board. Among the passengers were Mrs. Spafford and their four daughters. Although Mr. Spafford had planned to go with his family, he found it necessary to stay in Chicago to help solve an unexpected business problem. He told his wife he would join her and their children in Europe a few days later. His plan was to take another ship.

About four days into the crossing of the Atlantic, the Ville du Harve collided with a powerful, iron-hulled Scottish ship, the Loch Earn. Suddenly, all of those on board were in grave danger. Anna hurriedly brought her four children to the deck. She knelt there with Annie, Margaret Lee, Bessie and Tanetta and prayed that God would spare them if that could be His will, or to make them willing to endure whatever awaited them. Within approximately 12 minutes, the Ville du Harve slipped beneath the dark waters of the Atlantic, carrying with it 226 of the passengers including the four Spafford children.

A sailor, rowing a small boat over the spot where the ship went down, spotted a woman floating on a piece of the wreckage. It was Anna, still alive. He pulled her into the boat and they were picked up by another large vessel which, nine days later, landed them in Cardiff, Wales. From there she wired her husband a message which began, “Saved alone, what shall I do?” Mr. Spafford later framed the telegram and placed it in his office.

Another of the ship’s survivors, Pastor Weiss, later recalled Anna saying, “God gave me four daughters. Now they have been taken from me. Someday I will understand why.”

Mr. Spafford booked passage on the next available ship and left to join his grieving wife. With the ship about four days out, the captain called Spafford to his cabin and told him they were over the place where his children went down.


According to Bertha Spafford Vester, a daughter born after the tragedy, Spafford wrote “It Is Well With My Soul” while on this journey.

Anna gave birth to three more children, one of which died at age four with dreaded pneumonia. In August 1881, the Spaffords moved to Jerusalem. Mr. Spafford died and is buried in that city.

Here are the words written by Mr. Spafford on his journey to meet his grieving wife.

It Is Well With My Soul
by Horatio G. Spafford, 1873.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

Refrain:
It is well with my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

Refrain

My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!—
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

Refrain

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

Refrain

But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

Refrain

And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Refrain

Sources:
The Saint Augustine Record
UMC History of Hymns

Lay Servant Training - Let the Whole Church Say Amen!

In our Lay Servant class this past weekend we studied the book

Let the Whole Church Say Amen!: A Guide for Those Who Pray in Public,
by Laurence Hull Stookey, Published by Abingdon Press, ISBN-10: 0687090776, 2001.

March 17, 2017 Follow-up, this Tweet Wonderful story! Thanks @rachelnpr 'Out Of Wonder' Aims To Inspire A New Generation Of Poets  #IWantThisBook

Follows are some of the prayers I wrote from assignments. It was a very meaningful and (enjoyably) academic class. - spiritual, yet with meat and potatoes.

Adoration prayer
Oh gracious Father,
Whose love and grace is abounding,
Hear the prayers of hearts resounding.
To seek you purposely,
And serve each other selflessly.
In Christ's name, our Blessed Savior.
Amen

Collect Prayer
Oh Gracious God and knower of our hearts,
Who’s provided for us in time of need.
Bless us with purity of service,
When to others impart.
In Christ Jesus holy name.
Amen

Communal Prayer
Almighty God,
Who calls us to serve and blesses us with His presence,
In this small group in the world.
Thank you for your guidance, and
Thank you for confidence building to pray publicly,
As Jesus taught us to pray saying…
(The Lord’s Prayer)
Amen

Praise Prayer
Praise to you O Father above,
Who looks upon us with boundless love.
From the heavens to the Earth, on the land and across the sea,
We sing you praises ever to Thee.
In Christ’s holy name.
Amen

Benediction (group written)
Almighty God who lives and reigns forever.
Guide us as we depart.
Keep us safe so that we can perform your will
In the lives of others.
In the name of Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen

Today I Failed As A Minister

Today I feel like I failed as a minister of the Lord. I had the opportunity to share my testimony and strength to a person in need but instead I got pulled down into their sorrow. I related my own story of grief to them, in all my humanness, but feel I failed the offer them strength and hope in their moment of need. Where do I go from here?

I suppose that is why God meant for us to have enduring, long lasting relationships with our neighbors so that we can perhaps make a difference over time.

We all at some point go through periods of grief, anger and frustration but it is how we respond to those feelings after we realize our humanness and once again seek a more divine path. May we all be blessed on that journey.

My Letter to the Trappists

Always a student. Each of us should seek counsel and training when ever we can. Follows is partial copy of the letter I wrote to the Trappists of Holy Trinity Abbey in Huntsville, Utah. A few days later I found out they closed down, moved out and sold the property. I was so disappointed. That next day I sent a similar copy to the national organization of Trappist Monasteries. In the future I'll let you know how things turn out.

Dear Father and brothers of Holy Trinity Abbey,

In 2012, tomorrow (Nov. 11) being the anniversary, I was awakened by God that my work is His work and I was called to His ministry. This happened when I was helping soon to be released prison inmates get back to and successfully integrate into their communities. The calling was so clear it was virtually audible and I contemplated over that for months. Finally, I spoke with my local pastor, began the process and became a Certified Lay Servant in my church. The next year I became a Candidate for the Ministry in The United Methodist Church and I am my third year of that process.

The reason I chose you is because one of the “sparks” that ignited this change and evolution of my spirit occurred at your abbey about 1996. About that time, I was introduced to your community by mutual friends Jim and Gary. In the winter of ‘96-‘97 Jim brought me to a personal retreat there and I worked with, toured, worshiped and broke bread with you. I felt so welcomed. It was also that weekend that I picked up a book in the lobby and read it cover to cover for the next few days. The book is, “Return of the Prodigal Son”, by Henri J.M. Nouwen. I discovered that not only I am the prodigal son, but I am also the older brother and the father in that story. I’ve since gone on to read more of Nouwen’s work as well as Thomas Merton, Dietrich Bonhoeffer and currently a fan of Fr. Richard Rohr.

My request to you is that of searching for a mentor from your community to communicate with me on a regular basis by telephone, letters and perhaps video conferencing. Perhaps sometime we could meet in person. I am looking for someone to encourage and be encouraged by, to lift and be uplifted by; someone in the faith but with spiritual experience and finally perhaps someone who can hear confession and advise. I chose your organization because you are out of my spiritual, religious, personal and professional loop and I trust and respect you all.

Thank you for the positive Christ-like influence you have had upon me and the service you do for our Lord.

With deepest respect and blessings.

gus

A Prison Teacher Begins His Day

A Prison Teacher Begins His Day

Safe light. I look across a field of blue,
Moving, stirring, coming this way.
A vertical white stripe runs down the pant leg.
An inmate comes into view.

They enter the classroom willing to learn,
Some more than others.
A few eager, and some not enthusiastic.
Many just come because it’s a safe place for time to burn.

Teaching men who committed crimes,
I’m here to do my part, to help transform.
Hopefully they will become anew,
As they survive and do their time. Some decades.

We all have our role to which we’ve been ordained.
Mine to help these men who’ve been imprisoned,
That they may eventually resume their lives,
And return to our communities again.

gk
3/21/16

I Stand All Amazed

Yesterday I had opportunities to offer pastoral counseling to two inmates.  The Spirit was there, and I was able to do it without going outside my scope of work.  These moments pop up frequently.

I realize - know (as in a recent ah-ha moment for me) that I am a pastor of the Lord (with a little p) and the prison I work in is part of my parish.  So grateful.

This song below, I Stand All Amazed...

I sang it as a kid in the LDS church and it meant a lot to me back then.  When I recently researched it, I found the author was a Presbyterian man who later converted to Methodism.  By the end of his life Charles Gabriel wrote thousands of hymns and published numerous hymnals for mostly protestant denominations. Hope you enjoy it.  If you want to hear it live click here for The Lower Lights version on YouTube - one of my favorite bands.

I Stand All Amazed

I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me,
Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me.
I tremble to know that for me he was crucified,
That for me, a sinner, he suffered, he bled and died.

(Chorus)

Oh, it is wonderful that he should care for me
Enough to die for me!
Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!

I marvel that he would descend from his throne divine
To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine,
That he should extend his great love unto such as I,
Sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify.

I think of his hands pierced and bleeding to pay the debt!
Such mercy, such love and devotion can I forget?
No, no, I will praise and adore at the mercy seat,
Until at the glorified throne I kneel at his feet.

Text and music: Charles H. Gabriel, 1856-1932
Aka. Charlotte G. Homer, H. A. Henry, and S. B. Jackson
Song (1898/1905)

Florida Department of Corrections: Inspiring success by transforming one life at a time. - and yes, I do buy into this.  I experience it daily.

The Story of the Wayward Son Has Daily Implications

It seems almost daily I am impressed with the message of this story.  I've written about it before, but this time is different. See this story from 2012.

Recently I offended someone I dearly love.  They snapped back in response, and then I was offended by what they said to me.  This is life, and humanness at its finest!

My paraphrased version the story in Luke 15 is about a young man who wasted his inheritance on extravagant living, then came home with nothing.  He was judged harshly by his brother, but forgiven and loved by his Dad.  It raises the question to me of who was more at fault, the wasteful or the judgmental brother.  Implicitly the story points us to the example we need to follow is that of the father.  All of us will at some time do foolish things, and we will also judge those who do the same.   Sometimes the only consequence comes to the ‘lawbreaker’, but those who cannot mentally or emotionally place themselves in the other’s position, risk self-righteousness which is unjustified in any case from an eternal perspective. Who am I to cast the first stone?  The one we should be trying to emulate is the father in this story; loving and forgiving those who err in spite of their actions.  That is what the message Christ bids us to follow. (see image credit below)

In the dictionary, the word prodigal is characterized by profuse spending, so much so that it could be described as wasteful.  In this story all three characters go to prodigal extremes in their behaviors.  Which person best describes your actions and behavior lately?

Read this story again from the point of view of a person you have offended or been offended by…

The Parable of the Prodigal and His Brother, from Luke 15:11-32 (NRSV)

11. Then Jesus said, “There was a man who had two sons. 12. The younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of the property that will belong to me.’ So he divided his property between them. 13. A few days later the younger son gathered all he had and traveled to a distant country, and there he squandered his property in dissolute living. 14. When he had spent everything, a severe famine took place throughout that country, and he began to be in need. 15. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed the pigs. 16. He would gladly have filled himself with the pods that the pigs were eating; and no one gave him anything. 17. But when he came to himself he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired hands have bread enough and to spare, but here I am dying of hunger! 18. I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; 19. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me like one of your hired hands.”’ 20. So he set off and went to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him. 21. Then the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22. But the father said to his slaves, ‘Quickly, bring out a robe—the best one—and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23. And get the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; 24. for this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!’ And they began to celebrate.

25. “Now his elder son was in the field; and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. 26. He called one of the slaves and asked what was going on. 27. He replied, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fatted calf, because he has got him back safe and sound.’ 28. Then he became angry and refused to go in. His father came out and began to plead with him. 29. But he answered his father, ‘Listen! For all these years I have been working like a slave for you, and I have never disobeyed your command; yet you have never given me even a young goat so that I might celebrate with my friends. 30. But when this son of yours came back, who has devoured your property with prostitutes; you killed the fatted calf for him!’ 31. Then the father said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32. But we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and has come to life; he was lost and has been found.’”

Image credit - this image is by the Japanese artist Soichi Watanabe, titled “The Prodigal Son Returns which was on display at the Yale Institute of Sacred Music, 2009.  More on this artist.
The photo originally on this post was removed due to copyright infringement.  Mr. Watanabe will be paid a fee prior to me posting it again.  In the meantime, please see the link above.

My Call To Serve

A common thread that has run through my life is the profound love of God and ability to work with people, and organizations that serve our community.

I was raised by loving Christian parents in the suburbs of Fort Worth, Texas.

When I was a young man I had no idea what a calling was, not to mention what mine was to be. At the age of 16, I gave my life to Christ, and approached my pastor with the desire to go into the ministry. I felt love and unity from fellow Christians and the blessings of service.

Because of family religious pressure, my passion to become a minister soon became discouragement.

Years later that I realized that no matter what my situation or profession was, I could still be a minister of Christ and family pressures would not impede me.

I can now see I was being called, even from an early age to serve God. It wasn't until I started working with at-risk children, challenged youth and prison inmates that I felt strongly about using my profession to serve God and share His love with others.

I realize my Heavenly Father has woven a tapestry with my life, giving me opportunities to use these gifts for His kingdom, among my brothers and sisters.

What Code Do You Live By?

Almost from birth we're instilled with words of wisdom to live by, and eventually they become the foundation and building blocks for our lives.  Some children are raised with parents who teach them to be kind and respectful, as in "Be nice to others, be honest, tell the truth, work hard." To others that is less of a priority.  Some parents teach this with loving kindness, others teach it with brute force, as in "Do what I say!"  What ever the situation, our foundation of behavior, either learned by word or example by our caregivers is established in the early, formative years of our lives.

In elementary through high school we said the Unites States Pledge of Allegiance every day as part of our routine.  This became a code for me, and perhaps a lot of kids from my generation.  When I was a scout, about age 14, I had a respected youth leader once say, "Fake it til you make it." this stuck with me and I so I often put on an air of cheerfulness even when I am not feeling it.  When I was nearing the end of my Corrections Academy I held up my right hand, and pledged to uphold, support and protect my fellow citizens and do my duty as an officer.  These are some of my codes.

The code or codes that we live by establish the people we become and are the formative grounds for our overall character.  We either do our best or we don't.  We're honest, or we're not.  We follow the teachings and philosophies of some people or others. We're the only ones who truly know what our own codes of conduct are, and if they are in alignment with the betterment of society and our fellow man or not.

I say I follow Jesus.  But do I?  Martin Luther King, Jr. inspires me, but do I treat others, especially those of different races with the same respect Dr. King preached about?  This is an area of self examination and reflection for me on a regular basis, as it should be for all of us.  The code that I hold most dear and reflect upon often is from the New Testament, the words of Jesus, the foundation of my faith.  Let me include it here, from the book of Mark, Chapter 12: 28-34. (NRSV)

One of the scribes came near and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, he asked him, “Which commandment is the first of all?” Jesus answered, “The first is, ‘...you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” - Source: BibleGateway.com

I challenge all my readers, especially family members and my kids to look inward and think about the codes of life you were raised with, taught and adopted.  Are those codes in alignment with your core beliefs?  If not, make new choices to live a life that reflects your core beliefs and that uplifts others.

So what codes do you live by?

Coming next Thursday in a related story, I will write who I am, and will ask you the same question.  Please feel free to leave your comments, and share this with a friend. - Mr. Gus

I Used To Hate Christian Music

There was a time in my life that Christian music turned me off.  If it came on the radio, it would immediately get changed, to more than likely country or NPR.  Then one day, one of my best friends Gayle, a University of Florida County Extension Agent was going on and on about this group Avalon, and how they were playing in Orlando.  As I recall, it was about October 2005, and I think she even got out of a work detail to go see them.  Because of that interaction with Gayle, it made an impression causing me to to think, "hey, if she thinks they're this good, I'll give it a listen."

When I finally heard the song Testify to Love, it made such a deep impression that I'll never forget.  The song means to me, the very crutch of what it means to be a Christian.  For Mr. Gus, being a minister of the Lord, a Christian, an evangelist, a pastor or chaplain or a good neighbor (in the biblical sense) means simply that I testify to love, showing Christ's example in everything I do.  It's not about living within the confines and structure or a particular religion, but following the example of the world's ultimate example of love. Since that time I have grown to love Christian music for what it represents, namely nurturing a relationship with God, showing gratitude for all things including challenges and taking care of what matters most which is our relationships with others, especially family.

Thank you Gayle for your witness to Christ by publicly sharing your passion for music with your colleagues at work.  I'm forever grateful that you testified to love.  Below are the lyrics, credits and how you can buy the song.

Testify to Love

by Avalon

All the colors of the rainbow
All the voices of the wind
Every dream that reaches out
That reaches out to find where love begins
Every word of every story
Every star in every sky
Every corner of creation
Lives to testify

Chorus
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silences
When words are not enough
With every breath I take
I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love

From the mountains to the valleys
From the rivers to the sea
Every hand that reaches out
Every hand that reaches out to offer peace
Every simple act of mercy
Every step to kingdom come
All the hope in every heart will
Speak what love has done

Chorus 3 times

Writer(s): Henk Pool, Ralph van Manen, Robert T. Riekerk
Copyright: Universal/Mca Music Holland B.V.

Album: A Maze Of Grace, available on iTunes, Play Store or your favorite music vendor.  Google the song, and it will pop up on YouTube to hear it for free.  Like this link.

Journal Entry, May 19, 2014, Part 2 of 2, Obsession With Life in the Desert

I'm obsessed with learning more about the Spanish explorers who lived, explored, traveled and mapped the southwestern United States, in the Utah, Colorado, New Mexico region; specifically the southern Utah desert.  (Why do Franciscan monks always come up for me??)  The Escalente' Expedition were dedicated Christians and Catholic Franciscan monks, (Wiki photo, left) who tried to convert native Americans, but had the outdoor and mapping skills comparable to Lewis and Clark, but came before him in the 1770's.  The flintlock gun era.  I must research their journals!!  Someday I shall return to my most memorable place on Earth, which I call Solace Overhang.  It is located on the banks of the Escalente River at N 37.77445, W 111.42385.  Dead or alive, I shall return to that spot where I spent seven days alone in September of 1979, with nothing but a wool blanket, a coffee can, a pound of mixed wheat and corn flour and a half-dozen honey packs.  It was by far, the most influential time in my life where the only thing I could do was survive and reflect upon my life.  The only friend I had to speak to was my own conscious and God.  Occasionally I would explore and see a rabbit or a rattlesnake, but most of my time was appreciating the rocks, stars and cool stream a hundred yards away.  I would reflect upon my life thus far, and what the future may bring.  I was a naive nineteen year old with my life in front of me.  It was at that point, where I crossed from being a boy to a man, and the first time in my life seriously acknowledged God's grace in my life.  I also realized that the universe was much larger than I had imagined, and that spiritual life was more than a religious upbringing, or a church and didn't necessarily have to do with any particular religion or dogma.

I'll never ever forget laying on the ground under my overhang, covered by my woolen blanket next to my personal fire.  Even though I could feel warmth from the flames, I was still very very cold.  I would just lay there and wait for sunrise.  My body was facing North, and I had a clear view of the North Star, and the Big Dipper just beside.  Through the embers of the firelight, I would lay there and watch the fixed Polaris, with Ursa Major pivoting around it, completing a near full circle.  As the Big Dipper came close to the horizon, I knew that dawn was eminent, and I would soon feel the warm sun rays.  At dawn, I'd walk down to the Escalente River and fill my coffee can.  On the way back up the hill, I would collect some sprigs of Brigham Tea, Ephedra viridis, and then prepare a breakfast of ashcakes and warm tea to start my day.  For the first four days I had a little honey to put on my cakes.  At 37-111 (lat/lon) were my first experiences of heaven.

I thank God for that wonderful experience, parents who encouraged me and help make this happen, and for the people who ran the program, specifically Larry Dean Olson, author of Outdoor Survival Skills, foreward by Robert Redford, ISBN 13: 978-1556523236, the founder of BYU's Youth Leadership 480 program, and my class D-12.  I would also like to thank my program director Doug Nelson and my local Fort Worth buddy Bobbie Baird.  I also have to thank my father,Karl L. Koerner who was a course graduate in 1976.  This program is still ongoing, but under the direction of Boulder Outdoor Survival School, or B.O.S.S.