Letter to Sister Roberta

This is my letter to Sister Roberta, the Prioress of Holy Name Monastery, Benedictine Sisters of Florida, a long time friend and counselor.

Dear Sister Roberta,

I send my love and greetings to you all.

I am still in the Candidacy for the Ministry for the United Methodist Church, working locally in my congregation, city and county.  One of my major projects I am working on right now is to get a Chaplain assigned to every county emergency shelter during natural disasters.  That suggestion has just been approved for Brevard County. Praise God.

One of my challenges right now is the acceptance of less traditional sexual identities into the ministry, marriage and society.  Even the discussion causes me great anxiety.

This is my favorite song right now.  I hope you enjoy it.  It is Ancient Words, by Michael W. Smith.

Thank you for your support and prayers.  Bless you  all in Christ our Savior.

gus

My Scouting Resume'

I think more than any other event or occurrence, my Boy Scout experiences had the greatest influence upon me. Therefore, I see it important to include what significance it had upon my life.

Now at age 54, as I begin to enter into this program again, I wish to share my history in the Boy Scouts of America program. I'll try to include as much detail as possible.

Please bear with me as I write and update this journal entry, as it may take a while...

The Sub-Cub Era

Cub Scouting

Scouting

My Eagle Scout Project
I refurbished and repainted the house which held our local Scout Round Table meetings with the help of a dozen volunteers. I couldn't have done this without the support of my parents.

David, Chuck and I
David Sturdivant and Chuck Jaecks were in my Troop 326 and were my best friends.  David passed away about 2015.

My Philmont Experiences

As a Cub Scout

Trek 1

Trek 2

My Wilderness Survival Merit Badge Experience

My Trip to the Charles L. Sommers Wilderness Canoe Base

My World Jamboree Experience in Oslo, Norway
Primary Source: Wikipedia

After being selected for the World Jamboree, I became a member of Troop 32, representing Texas. I was one of about 30 scouts.

The 14th World Scout Jamboree was held July 29 to August 7, 1975, and was hosted by Norway at Lillehammer, on the shore of Lake Mjøsa.

King Olav V and Harald V of Norway, who then was crown prince, opened "Nordjamb '75", as it became popularly known, in the presence of 17,259 Scouts from 94 countries. The slogan was Five Fingers, One Hand, an example of international cooperation on the part of the five Nordic countries responsible for its organization.

This slogan stood symbolically for:

Five fingers separately are small and weak, but together form an efficient and strong unit

• Scouts from all five continents meet at the World Jamboree
• The five Nordic countries jointly host a world event
• The slogan for the Jamboree was represented in a number of ways, including one event that brought all of the Jamboree participants together into the central arena, where they formed a giant hand that was photographed from aircraft flying overhead.

The British contingent, led by Robert Baden-Powell, 3rd Baron Baden-Powell, included Scouts from Branches in Bermuda, Hong Kong and Rhodesia.

The program of this Jamboree included excursions in the mountains by international patrols, activity areas, Nordic trail, choir, visit to Maihaugen cultural museum, and the Jamboree Country Fair. The relationships that developed were in large measure due to the warm hospitality given to almost every visiting Scout in the homes of the hosts. This Jamboree included in the program several activities involving modern technology, as well as traditional pursuits such as hiking, orienteering and camping.


The Jamboree was also visited by Carl XVI Gustav of Sweden and Crown Prince Mohammed VI of Morocco.

Order of the Arrow

My Tapout

My Ordeal - I remember this event well, but the only parts I can recall is being very sleep deprived and sleeping on the ground under my pancho in the rain.  I highly recall the feeling of brotherhood and belonging I felt. After my Ordeal was complete, I was a member of the lodge Nishkin Halupa A Pe Lachi, Lodge # 489.  The lodge was since reorganized, and is now Netopalis Sipo Schipinachk, Lodge # 209, Warriors of the Rivers with Outstretched Arm.

I later became a Brotherhood Member. This was about 1973.

My Parent's Service
My Mom and Dad, Karl L. and Irene J. Koerner were long time leaders in the Scouting program. My Dad receive his Silver Beaver and my Mom her Silver Fawn.

Experiences With Different Troop Sponsors

24 Hours of Blessings

I'm feeling extremely grateful today so I decided to start my own campaign.

For the next 24 hours, (about) on the hour - around the clock I am going to list a blessing, and Tweet it under the hashtag #24hoursofblessings.

Feel free to join me by continuing it on or or commenting here.  Just for a day.

January 19, 2017 Tweets by @guskoerner

8 AM I am thankful for a job serving the public.

This morning I was greeted by Eastern Gray Squirrels.  Love these little guys, they brighten my day.

9 AM Grateful for work colleagues who are diligent and kind. Good people.

10 AM Grateful for my children who are politically aware and civically engaged.

11 AM Grateful for a good peanut butter and jelly sandwich now and then.

NOON. Grateful for a wife who's supportive, encouraging and loving.

1 PM I'm grateful for school crossing guards.

2 PM I’m grateful for smartphones that help us stay connected with loved ones far away.

3 PM I’m grateful for forgiveness that allows us to start over.

4 PM My time as a prison CO and GED Instructor was a blessing that taught me so much.

5 PM Rational-Respectful discussions of opposing viewpoints are a blessing.

6 PM Books that uplift and inspire are a blessing.

7 PM Supper is a blessing not all enjoy. Thank you Lord, please bless those in need.

8 PM Adoptive parents are a blessing.

9 PM Firewood stacked and food in the cupboard are a blessing.

10 PM Nurses are a blessing to us all.

11 PM I’m grateful for a bed to sleep in.

MIDNIGHT – I’m grateful for a cushy pillow.

1 AM Ceiling Fans

2 AM I’m grateful for indoor plumbing.

3 AM I’m grateful that someone cares enough to control mosquitoes.

4 AM I’m grateful for diabetes education and the JDRF.

5 AM Nightlights are a blessing.  Thank you Thomas Edison.

6 AM My Snoozebar is a blessing.

7 AM Chickens are a blessing I appreciate as I eat my Egg McMuffin.

May your day be blessed too.

gus

Holiday Greeting To My Friends at B.O.S.S.

Merry Christmas to my friends at B.O.S.S.!

I just wanted to check in and wish you Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

I like to check in every year or so, and as I've mentioned in the past - in 1979 I was a student in the month long BYU Youth Leadership 480, Course D-12 under Doug Nelson. It changed my life to this day. I was inspired to attend by my Dad, Karl Koerner who attended two years earlier, and at the time was the oldest person to complete the course at age 56. Wow - I'm 57! Where have the years gone?

Some of my life long memories of the course include:

• My 7-day solo spent in an overhang on the Escalante River. That inspired me to devote much of my adult life to study the outdoors, ecological theology, and share that with others in my career.
• To this day I still remember scrubbing my big #10 can in the river every morning and on my way back up the mesa would collect more Brigham Tea. One day a baby Rattlesnake greeted me by my shrub, so I gave him his alone time and found another bush to harvest.
• I remember laying by my fire, eyes fixed upon Polaris and through the night watch the Big Dipper rotate around that fixed beacon that always points north.
• I remember starting my fire in the first 30 minutes of my solo and while blowing on the embers getting a piece of glowing ash on my arm. I have a scar to this day, and it’s a sweet reminder of my days in the desert.
• Thanks to technology, I've deduced the location of my solo spot is N 37.774437° W -111.423868°
• I remember my ~13 mile run in from the river basin into Boulder. I think I came in 1st or 2nd! When I got to Boulder I called my family from the payphone for a nickel!
• I remember sharing pot holes of water with my brothers and sisters on our small group week. One of my buddies later got Giardia.
• I recall my breath taking traverse through Devil’s Canyon, knowing Butch Cassidy and his gang might have followed the same route.
• I’ll never forget my deep gratitude to God and for the sacrifice the sheep made of his life to feed our large group.

Does any of this ring a bell to you?  Since then I’ve had a number of friends and family attend the course upon my recommendation and it made a profound effect on their lives too. Professionally I work in Youth Development through the University of Florida 4-H Program. Here is a synopsis of the program I developed, in part by my experience with BOSS.

The Youth Ecology Series (YES!) is a unique University of Florida / IFAS / Brevard County Extension 4-H program for youth ages 10 to 16. The mission of YES! is to teach and inspire young people to learn about and conserve their natural outdoor environment with a combination of hands-on, classroom and field activities. The goal of YES! is to give young people a broad overview of our natural ecology and tangible skills to thrive and participate in nature and an appreciation for the methods of sustaining our fragile ecosystem. Side benefits of the program include having fun, meeting new people and getting to know some of our local outdoor treasure sites, organizations and related programs.

If any of you would like to participate in a consulting role to my programs I would welcome it. Feel free to share this letter, or parts of it with your staff and alumni. Give them my best and tell future participants they can do it! and are part of something very significant and that the program you deliver is having a positive effect on its students and beyond. 

Blessings to you all. 

Gus

The Power of Words. On Writing: Poems, Journals and Individual Expression

At the prison where I work, I was on Outside Post duty the other day and heard this story on NPR's On Being show by Krista Tippet.  I love this show.  Through this story I intellectually, emotionally and spiritually confirmed the writing of this blog and my personal, hand written journals.  It also convicted me of writing online, but not publishing all my stories publicly.  If you wish to read these other stories, more personal, with more detail, send me a note and I'll send you a link or personally email you my entries. Email to guskoerner@gmail.com

Here is the story from OnBeing.org that inspired me.  Thank you Krista.

By Naomi Shihab Nye

Your Life Is a Poem (Audio Interview) A must hear of 51 minutes.  Give it at least 15 minutes and you'll be hooked too.

Growing up, the poet Naomi Shihab Nye lived in Ferguson, Missouri and on the road between Ramallah and Jerusalem. Her father was a refugee Palestinian journalist, and through her poetry, she carries forward his hopeful passion, his insistence, that language must be a way out of cycles of animosity...

Thank you Naomi.

I've Got Friends in Low Places

As I was leaving my post the other night, an inmate yelled through the window, "Drive safe Mr. Koerner, see you Wednesday!"  I replied, "Ok, thank you."  Normally that would be a nice farewell, but the fact the inmate knew my schedule without me telling anyone bothered me a bit.

Most of my readers know I work in Corrections.  I am a Correctional Officer for the state of Florida, and formerly a ReEntry/Transition Specialist and prison educator.  My goal is to become a Chaplain one day.

It's a hard job that pushes me to my physical and emotional limits.  I have dreams about it at night and some weeks I get little done other than work.  At the prison I have twelve hour days, 60 hours one week, 24 hours the next, then I do it again.

The reason I do it is because God told me to, plain and simple.  In the prison dormitory I supervise about 130 men.  Their crimes range from everything imaginable, including multiple DUI's, sex offenses, fraud, drug crimes and murder.  Some will be released this year, some never.

When I was a Youth Development Agent for the 4-H program, every summer I taught summer camp for children of incarcerated parents.  I could see the developmental wounds their upbringing had caused and decided something had to be done.  Yes it's good to help the kids, but more importantly I told myself, "What we need to do is get these parents out of prison and have them raise their kids in a home of love and positive virtues." Then I ask, "Lord, how can I help with this?" Then an opening appeared on the Dept. of Corrections website.

97% of Florida inmates will be released from prison.  When they do, will they take care of their families or recidivate (commit another crime)? Is there anything I can do to make a difference? I cannot answer this question because only time will tell. But what I do at work is treat the inmates like human beings who deserve respect and hold them to the rules, policies and procedures.  I do not give special privileges to some or degrade any. I hold my dormitory inmates to a high standard and expect their best (but prepare for the worst).

My experience thus far has been a positive one.  I don't know if I'll remain in security for a long time, but working with these men in some capacity is something I feel the need to continue. My inmates are responding to respect with respect back to me, and I appreciate it. It is creating a positive environment that is more safe than it used to be.

It is said that no one truly knows a nation until one has been inside its jails. A nation should not be judged by how it treats its highest citizens, but its lowest ones. - Nelson Mandela

gk

I'm A Lucky Man

I was nursing my wounds the other day, feeling sorry for myself until I met Willie.  Willie and I have the same work schedule.  We leave the house at 4:45 in the morning, report at 5:30, work a twelve hour day until 6 PM, get home around 7 and in bed by 9.  Then we do it again the next day.  The difference is Willie does it on a bicycle and I drive a truck.

I first met Willie when I nearly hit him on his bike early one morning.  Then I would continue to see him every morning and every afternoon.  Finally while looking for him I saw him, and stopped to introduced myself and we became friends.

God bless Willie and all the other folks working hard to make ends meet for their families.  My story reminded me of my favorite Montgomery Gentry song, with partial lyrics below, Lucky Man.  I am so blessed.  I hope my readers will realize all the blessings in their lives and reach out to others who may not be as fortunate.

"Lucky Man" is a song written by David Lee and Dave Turnbull, and recorded by American country music duo Montgomery Gentry that reached the top of the Billboard Hot Country Songs chart and stayed there for two weeks. It was released in January 2007 as the second single from their album Some People Change.

"Lucky Man"
See this home video on YouTube by Matt Alves

I have days where I hate my job
This little town and the whole world too
Last Sunday when the Bengals lost
Lord it put me in a bad mood

I have moments when I curse the rain
Then complain when the sun's too hot
I look around at what everyone has
And I forget about all I've got

But I know I'm a lucky man
God's given me a pretty fair hand
Got a house and a piece of land
A few dollars in a coffee can
My old trucks still running good
My ticker's ticking like they say it should
I got supper in the oven, a good woman's loving
And one more day to be my little kid's dad
Lord, knows I'm a lucky man

A Note to My Pastor

Dear Pastor,

If I were to title your sermon today it would be Opening Up The Kingdom.

When I was a child, I experienced so much rejection in my family church.  If someone smoked, drank, payed less than a full tithe or were immoral they were shunned, disfellowshiped and even excommunicated.  Fast forward now 30 years with prison populations probably doubled since then, gays out of the closet, pornography a challenge for 70% of Christian men, divorce the norm and and daily discussions on transgenders common.  What we see is our civilization being drawn toward two polar opposites - accept everything and everyone or close the doors to only the visibly righteous.

Your message today helped to mold my core values.  I shall accept every person as God's child worthy of acceptance, love and forgiveness. Period.  We the people, are God's people, that is our right and blessing given to us by the blood of Christ.

I will open my arms and my heart to love my brother and sister as Christ would.  That is my prayer.  I will treat the prison inmate with the same love and respect as my fellow officer or next door neighbor. That is my vow.

Build Your kingdom here

Let the darkness fear

Show Your mighty hand

Heal our streets and land

Set Your church on fire

Win this nation back

Change the atmosphere

Build Your kingdom here

We pray.

By Rend Collective - YouTube

Bless you in your continued work.

-- 

gus

Call Your Mama

One word daily is better than a thousand words yearly.
Kind words are always appreciated dearly. - gk

Write a note, make a call to a loved one. It will bless your life and theirs.

An Easter Message of Hope

On one hand I cannot believe I wrote a Passover message prior to Easter.  What was I thinking?

Just let me say this...I know that my Redeemer lives. What comfort this sweet sentence gives! He lives, he lives, who once was dead. He lives, my ever-living Head.He lives to bless me with his love. He lives to plead for me above. He lives my hungry soul to feed. He lives to bless in time of need. Source

This Lenten season, Ash Wednesday through today has been a season of continual reflection.  One holy day merged into another, and now the Jewish holiday of Passover begins soon..  The Bible story can not only be wonderfully broken down into individual messages of inspiration and wisdom, but it also must be look at as a whole; the same with one’s spiritual life.

Long before I was positively influenced by Christ’s disciples in my high school (thank you), I was taught by my family and the religion of our past generations, the LDS Church.

Forty years later I recall some of the teachings and hymns of my childhood and fondly sing them under my breath, so as not to be seemingly judged by some of my main stream Christian contemporaries. As I think of Easter, this song comes to mind which is a traditional LDS hymn. I only included the first verse and the chorus because that is what rings in my heart and causes me to sing aloud.

The Day Dawn Is Breaking

The day dawn is breaking, the world is awaking,
The clouds of night's darkness are fleeing away.
The worldwide commotion, from ocean to ocean,
Now heralds the time of the beautiful day.

Beautiful day of peace and rest,
Bright be thy dawn from east to west.
Hail to thine earliest welcome ray,
Beautiful, bright, millennial day.

Now a message of hope written by a friend suffering from depression, that end in a message of hope reflected in Easter...

On My Finite Depression

Is it possible to be happy again, normal?
I get by daily by following my routine,
But sometimes it can get very dark.
Knowing deep inside I'm blessed, sometimes joyful.

Family, friends, a loving wife. A life blessed.
But shadows are comfortable and darkness my friend,
Hours pass, accomplishing nothing.
When I was younger, unstoppable this didn't need to be addressed.

I see a light ahead, just out of reach.
One week, month, year of this yet to go.
I'll hang in there, because of faith.
Faith in a a power greater, that will let this wall be breached.
I can because He is risen!

-author's name withheld.

What Do You Think Of Me?

What Do You Think Of Me?

Father in Heaven
What do you think of me?
I am so rich,
But feel I don’t deserve any of this.
What do you think of me?

My life is so blessed.
Strength on this journey is my request.
What do you think of me?

Have I helped someone in need,
Or passed by them, neglecting a good deed?
What do you think of me?

Please help me make my life,
To You a living sacrifice.
What do you think of me?

This gift from above,
Of unconditional love.
This is what you think of me! Thank you.

gk
3/15/2016

This Week's Limericks

Sunrise Over Edgewater (My Drive to Work)
I set out and I’m greeted by sun on the rise,
Blue and pink glowing - blessing my eyes.
The animals stirring.
The birds are a chirping.
Beaconing all of mankind to arise.

gk, 3/7/2016

The Romantic Elephant
There once was an African elephant,
Who learned to paint with great eloquence.
He courted his sweetie,
With art and graffiti.
On a tree with picturesque elements.

The Chewing Giraffe
A giraffe from afar Mozambique,
Kept a chaw 'tween his gum and his cheek.
Other animals didn't get it.
They said, "You'll regret it,
You'll be hooked in less than a week."

This next one is a tribute to my wife Sandy.  The other night she just got home from work and  was watching our grandsons.  At the same time she was cleaning the house and cooking a marvelous rib dinner with fixins.  This was all done between 6 and 7 pm.  She's such a champ and I appreciate her so much.

My Daytona Woman
My wife, Nana and sweetheart,
Faster than Daytona and Earnhart.
At cookin' up dinner,
She's a First Place Winner;
and shows all evidence of a good heart.

The Tootsie Roll
We all enjoy a Tootsie Roll.
Of which I’m willing to pay a toll.
The chocolate is sweet,
and is such a retreat.
It has to be good for one’s soul!

gk

I Stand All Amazed

Yesterday I had opportunities to offer pastoral counseling to two inmates.  The Spirit was there, and I was able to do it without going outside my scope of work.  These moments pop up frequently.

I realize - know (as in a recent ah-ha moment for me) that I am a pastor of the Lord (with a little p) and the prison I work in is part of my parish.  So grateful.

This song below, I Stand All Amazed...

I sang it as a kid in the LDS church and it meant a lot to me back then.  When I recently researched it, I found the author was a Presbyterian man who later converted to Methodism.  By the end of his life Charles Gabriel wrote thousands of hymns and published numerous hymnals for mostly protestant denominations. Hope you enjoy it.  If you want to hear it live click here for The Lower Lights version on YouTube - one of my favorite bands.

I Stand All Amazed

I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me,
Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me.
I tremble to know that for me he was crucified,
That for me, a sinner, he suffered, he bled and died.

(Chorus)

Oh, it is wonderful that he should care for me
Enough to die for me!
Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!

I marvel that he would descend from his throne divine
To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine,
That he should extend his great love unto such as I,
Sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify.

I think of his hands pierced and bleeding to pay the debt!
Such mercy, such love and devotion can I forget?
No, no, I will praise and adore at the mercy seat,
Until at the glorified throne I kneel at his feet.

Text and music: Charles H. Gabriel, 1856-1932
Aka. Charlotte G. Homer, H. A. Henry, and S. B. Jackson
Song (1898/1905)

Florida Department of Corrections: Inspiring success by transforming one life at a time. - and yes, I do buy into this.  I experience it daily.

Not A Saint

If Christians are considered “saints”, then why don’t I feel it?
A Saint I ain’t?
Just a sinner, a man, nothing more.
Trying to hold on to the belief that Christ bore all for me.

Unworthy.

When confusion's my companion
And despair holds me for ransom
When I'm caught deep in the valley
With chaos for my company

I will feel no fear
I know that You are near
I'll find my comfort here
‘Cause I know that You are near

My help comes from You
You're right here, pulling me through
You carry my weakness, my sickness, my brokenness all on Your shoulders
Your shoulders. (Shoulders, by King & Country)

Bless those who've caught the vision,
Realized the blessing, found their mission.
As for me, still searching.
Some days better than others. But I’ll continue.
Finding, lending strength with my brothers.

24 hrs later - I realize this story is kind of dark.  Forgive me please, I am what I am; but I also know we're all SO blessed.  We deal with our past, but there is a bright side.  Know there is.  Hang in there if you've felt similar.  Find a good friend to talk to. Say a little prayer.

- gus

Photo Credit: Saint Andrew the Apostle by Yoan from Gabrovo, 19th century.

Dads and Their Sons, a Snapshot from 1972

We go through life learning from our parents. In the best of circumstances they teach you how to become a whole human being. In the worst of circumstances, they can also teach you what not to do. - actor Bryan Cranston,

From the TLC show, Who Do You Think You Are, sponsored by Ancestry.com: aired Aug. 2015.

I remember when I was a young boy I had a mixed relationship with my father. (I am speaking of Karl L. Koerner 1918 to 2000.)  I highly respected my dad yet part of me was afraid of him. He most always seemed distant and out of reach, but there were times when he was very supportive and kind and fun to be around. As I look back, the overall memory I have of my dad is a good one.  He was a good example of a man to follow who kept family and professional life balanced and who supported my mother and tried to do the best for us kids. Me being the last of six kids, I think he mellowed somewhat, or he just ran out of energy. Either way I understand how that can be.

My dad had a temper and when he would get angry you did not want to be in the room, but he also had a sense of humor, and could tell a corny joke and laugh at one like the rest of us. That part of me remains from his DNA.

As part of my job at the prison, I have the opportunity to counsel inmates.  Twice this past week, I spoke with incarcerated dads, trying to rekindle relationships with their sons.  After the conversation I thought about my relationship with my dad and sons. I ask myself what did I do right? What could I have done better with?  How can I improve?

Recently I found a notebook in the garage with my Dad's notes from our trip to Philmont Scout Ranch in July of 1972. In this particular slide (left), my dad is commenting on me and Chuck hanging our camp food between trees for the night to keep the bears from getting it.

Some quotes from his notes: July 5, 1972 - Gus and Chuck (Jaecks) putting up a Bear Pack something like this. I imagine if the Bears saw them do these things they would die laughing. I'm sure if they were hungry or they would get it down.

Notes like these from our parents are precious to family history.  I urge all my readers to keep them safe.

So how is this going to make me a better father?  I'm going to keep loving my kids, just how they are and supporting them in the paths their on.  If they want my advice I'll give it to them, otherwise I'll continue to urge them to do their best, stay close to God and honor their spouses and children.  I hope my kids can take my good qualities and emulate them, and my less desirable traits and be careful not to follow them.  Either way, in that way a dad can have a positive influence on his children.

- gus

A Song That Knocked My Socks Off, Way Back When

As some of my readers know, I teach at a state prison. I was talking to one of my best Inmate Teaching Assistants today who is an excellent and published writer. He's been incarcerated for 30 plus years with a life sentence to go, so he's not real tech savvy. Our inmates have zero access to email or internet.

Today he asked me what a blog is, and why people write them. To make a long story short, I told him people write blogs with different themes, thoughts, purposes and passions; but I write mine so someday my children and their children (and beyond) will know what their Papa Gus was like. I have my own Papa Gus, whom I know nothing about. He passed away shortly before I was born.

This song popped up for me this week from out of nowhere, and I just had to mention it. The first time I heard it, it knocked my socks off - significant for me, therefore I write about it. My son Chris introduced this to me back in (like) 2003 and it rocked my spiritual world. It still does with the memory of me being far from God back then, and this brought me to my knees in surrender. If you know it, you'll agree.  If its new to you, I think you'll like it.  The lyrics are still profound to me, so I included them below, and of course linked associated sources.  The genre is Christian Ska.

Here it is...

World Without End (YouTube) A Must See!
by Five Iron Frenzy
Album (wiki-link): The End Is Near, 2003.

For all the deepest thought compiled, philosophy
to laws of physics,
no one's ever heard or seen,
a more beautiful thing,
than this love that saved us.

[Chorus:]
In the soundless awe and wonder,
words fall short to hope again.
How beautiful,
how vast your love is,
new forever,
world without an end.

The very spark that burns the stars,
drew near to me today,
the God of everything that is,
whispered in my ear that His love is boundless.

This last verse of the song reminds me of what I experienced in, Return To Escalante, Moments of Solitude. "The very spark that burns the stars, drew near to me today, the God of everything that is, whispered in my ear that His love is boundless." Boundless as the stars in the heavens.

If you like this, I'm glad.  Please share it with your friends and join me on Twitter @guskoerner

Return to Escalante, Moments of Solitude

I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude. Henry David Thoreau

It has been almost thirty-seven years since I sat alone on the banks of the Escalante River in southern Utah. I was on my 31 day survival course called BYU Youth Leadership 480, still on-going yet privately run by Boulder Outdoor Survival School (BOSS). I need to describe the solo portion of our trip that we had the last week of the course.

The last seven days of the class I was completely alone, not seeing another person the entire time. I had no books to read or journal to write in. I had in my possession a bow and drill tool I made for starting fires, a woolen blanket, pocket knife, a coffee can I found in the desert for carrying water and cooking, a pound of wheat (seed), and a few honey packs I traded for with my pals earlier on the trip. My days consisted of keeping my #10 coffee can scrubbed clean by the sand in the river and filled with water by my small fire which never went out. For food I'd grind the wheat to make ash cakes and drink tea made from the native Brigham tea plants. What could have been boredom to some people, the seemingly endless hours of solitude, caused me to become acutely aware of my soul and the southern Utah sky.

Images: (above) I call my solo location Solace Overlook, which is located at N 37.774437 W 111.423868 (DD). On the state map, the red star roughly shows about where I was located on a larger scale.(right)

You can see the rocky overhang I slept under and sought shade with. At night cliff served as a heat reflector for my fire and faced in the perfect direction so I could watch Polaris throughout the night.

Returning to moments of contemplation of ourselves in this universe can center our inner beings and bring peace. It can ground us in the fact that our role in the world is much larger and more significant than we sometimes realize. Solitude can provide us with that opportunity, if we let it.

I’m reminded of a movie I saw that made a deep impression on me. My Dinner With André, 1981, is a conversation between Andre Gregory and Wally Shawn, both of whom were active in New York theater. One of the primary themes that got my attention was that sometimes we get lulled into daily routines and take for granted mundane things that bring us comfort and joy. This quote from Andre’ to Wally:

What does it do to us living in an environment where something as massive as the seasons or winter or cold, don't in any way affect us? I mean, we’re animals after all. What does that mean? I think it means that instead of living under the sun and the moon and the sky and the stars, we're living in a fantasy world of our own making… [And] comfort can lull us into a dangerous tranquility.

Solitude can cause one to look inward to realize not only their smallness, but the potential of their greatness and the greatness of our God in the universe. I like the way philosopher and theologian Paul Tillich addresses this by saying, Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone.

He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth. He breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the shields with fire. He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth… Psalm 46:9 (NIV)

For more insight on this, see the story Stillness and Silent Prayer by Debbi Geller, from Krista Tippett's OnBeing.org,  OnBeing is one of my favorite websites ever, and I'm glad I found Debbi's work. Thank you Krista and Debbi.

I hope you get to enjoy your own version of stillness and solitude. Feel free to leave a comment and tell me of your experiences in solitude or follow me on Twitter @guskoerner.

- gus

Post Script. What I didn't mention in this story but wanted to...1. How I got my fire started. 2. The rattlesnake that kept me from getting my tea leaves. 3. The fellow student that went home early because he cheated. 4. How beautiful the Big Dipper is when it rotates around the North Star. 5. The 13 mile run-in from the Escalante River to Boulder, UT. Perhaps another time.

More Limericks

This is a continuation, Part II if you will, of my original story Limericks on March 30 of this year... I can tell you right now, there will probably be several follow-ups to this!  What can I say?  I'm a nerd.

Why I Love Limericks
I love limericks no ending.
They rhyme 'round a tree's always bending.
They're short and so sweet.
But longer than Tweets!
My thoughts and my feelings extending.

This was 157 characters w/spacing.  I need to create the Tweet-able  > 140 character limerick!

The Family Bookkeeper
She used to use the name Swift.
She's a master to the definition of thrift.
She saves us the nickels,
So there's always a pickle.
And we're never a ship that's adrift.

Thank you honey for watching our family finances.  I love you.

I Miss My Kids
In Florida there are tall, bushy trees,
And some that are short to your knees.
I miss my kids bad.
Because I'm their Dad.
In they're activities I'm always so pleased. :)

I know the transition here is weird, but I live in sunny Florida and my kids live across the globe in China, California, Florida, Texas and Utah. Texts, calls, Skype and Facebook are how we communicate - the 21st Century Family!

A Tribute To Harley

Harley was our adopted son and little brother from June 2002 to April 8, 2015. We're all going to miss him.

I talk to him when I'm lonesome like;
And I'm sure he understands.
When he looks at me so attentively,
And gently licks my hands;
Then he rubs his nose on my tailored clothes,
But I never say naught thereat.
For the good Lord knows I can buy more clothes,
But never a friend like that.

If my dog is barred by the heavenly guard
We'll both of us brave the heat! Both poems by W. Dayton Wedgefarth

And This Poem...

The Dachshund's affectionate
He wants to wed with you:
Lie down to sleep,
And he's in bed with you.
Sit in a chair,
He's there.
Depart,
You break his heart.

by E.B. White

Just Before the Last Supper

As Good Friday approaches I contemplate the last days of Jesus Christ before he was crucified.  In particular this year, I have compassion for Judas, yes the Betrayer of our Lord.  If he had not given Jesus up to His pursuers, someone else would have and then we would be blaming them.  Was Judas a necessary part of the eternal plan?  I don't know.  How did he feel afterwards?  (I'd love to read your comments on this.)

The Gospel of John 13:1-2 (NRSV)

Now before the festival of the Passover, Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart from this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. The devil had already put it into the heart of Judas son of Simon Iscariot to betray him.  Shortly after this, Jesus washed the feet of the disciples and broke bread with them, knowing in advance of the betrayal.

I wrote this poem, considering the plight of Judas Iscariot, and the guilt he must have felt.

"Cinder blocks tied to my ankles, ropes bind my hands.
I sink below the surface, feet down to the sand.
I stretch to reach the light above.
Gasping, but not enough air.
God help me up and free me, out of this despair."

I'd also like to share some of the words of this song How Can It Be, By Lauren Daigle which is popular right now on Christian radio.

I am guilty

Ashamed of what I've done, what I've become

These hands are dirty

I dare not lift them up to the Holy one

You plead my cause

You right my wrongs

You brake my chains

You overcome

You gave Your life

To give me mine

You say that I am free

How can it be

How can it be

I cannot leave this story on a guilt laden note of sorrow, because it does not end there!  The story continues in John 13:31 to verse 35 and gives us The New Commandment...Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

Jesus shows His disciples, even Judas Iscariot and Simon Peter who betrayed Him that His love was greater than the price of their betrayal.  Shouldn't we do the same?  Can I do that?  God please help me, not for my sake, but to follow you and be a Christ example to someone who does not know Him.