A wonderful bird is the pelican,
His bill will hold more than his belican.
He can take in his beak
Food enough for a week.
But I’m damned if I see how the helican.
Now here are mine...
The Fid (a tool for rope work and knot tying)
My Fid has been missing for weeks,
I found it tonight with much glee.
It was right where I laid it.
I'm glad cuz I made it.
I use it for knots that I keep.
My husband he lost his best Fid,
Then blamed everyone and the kids.
His mind he's a losin',
For simply not choosin',
To remember the things that he did!
I now have a wife who's a thief!
She never causes much grief.
My pillow she'll take, Before I awake.
She denies it in great disbelief!
Oh the joy of community eatery!
Enjoying each other so leisurely.
The dishes diverse,
We sit and converse.
Getting to know one another so easily.
My sweet wife is sound asleep.
She lies in a slumber so deep.
But soon she'll awake, and coffee partake.
She's a blessing to all whom she meets.
In prison they come to my school.
They can stay if they don’t act the fool.
If bridges their burnin’ they don’t get no learnin’
That is the primary ground rule.
There once was a man from Daytona,
That married a bike chick Ramona.
He rode on the back, but she cut him no slack,
And dumped him on this side of Pamona.
Old Mr. Forte’
I wonder how old Mr. Forte’ has been?
Since ‘76 he’s been in the pen.
The sweetest man you've met in your life
39 years now for killing his wife.
Harley chases with fleas on his knees.
All of the squirrels plum up the trees.
All he wants to is play, but he never will say,
The squirrel language version of 'please'.