My Letter to the Trappists

Always a student. Each of us should seek counsel and training when ever we can. Follows is partial copy of the letter I wrote to the Trappists of Holy Trinity Abbey in Huntsville, Utah. A few days later I found out they closed down, moved out and sold the property. I was so disappointed. That next day I sent a similar copy to the national organization of Trappist Monasteries. In the future I'll let you know how things turn out.

Dear Father and brothers of Holy Trinity Abbey,

In 2012, tomorrow (Nov. 11) being the anniversary, I was awakened by God that my work is His work and I was called to His ministry. This happened when I was helping soon to be released prison inmates get back to and successfully integrate into their communities. The calling was so clear it was virtually audible and I contemplated over that for months. Finally, I spoke with my local pastor, began the process and became a Certified Lay Servant in my church. The next year I became a Candidate for the Ministry in The United Methodist Church and I am my third year of that process.

The reason I chose you is because one of the “sparks” that ignited this change and evolution of my spirit occurred at your abbey about 1996. About that time, I was introduced to your community by mutual friends Jim and Gary. In the winter of ‘96-‘97 Jim brought me to a personal retreat there and I worked with, toured, worshiped and broke bread with you. I felt so welcomed. It was also that weekend that I picked up a book in the lobby and read it cover to cover for the next few days. The book is, “Return of the Prodigal Son”, by Henri J.M. Nouwen. I discovered that not only I am the prodigal son, but I am also the older brother and the father in that story. I’ve since gone on to read more of Nouwen’s work as well as Thomas Merton, Dietrich Bonhoeffer and currently a fan of Fr. Richard Rohr.

My request to you is that of searching for a mentor from your community to communicate with me on a regular basis by telephone, letters and perhaps video conferencing. Perhaps sometime we could meet in person. I am looking for someone to encourage and be encouraged by, to lift and be uplifted by; someone in the faith but with spiritual experience and finally perhaps someone who can hear confession and advise. I chose your organization because you are out of my spiritual, religious, personal and professional loop and I trust and respect you all.

Thank you for the positive Christ-like influence you have had upon me and the service you do for our Lord.

With deepest respect and blessings.

gus

This Officer's Duties

I'm starting to re-think my philosophy on prison reentry. Some prison inmates are just not ready for Rick Warren quotes on turning their life around.

This Officer's Duties
Standing outside the prison wire.
I am free, but those inside suffer dire situations that cost them
Their lives, families and hopes that oft' tire,

Over time some will adapt.
But some are apt to continue acts of desperation,
That worsen their situation of being trapped.

What's my role of a human with compassion?
To protect, teach and inspire with passion.
Duties of an officer not held in fashion.

But reflect a higher meaning of Care, Custody and Control, which I gave an oath to serve.

Notes To My Inmates

I think I am the only Correctional Officer who does this. If not, like to meet other officers who do, and that have a passion for re-entry.

Everyday when I come into the dorm at 0600, at my first opportunity I leave an inspirational thought for my inmate residents. I jot it down on a piece of scratch paper and tape one copy to one side of the dorm, and another copy to the other side. I also write one more copy of it in my journal. The thoughts come from where ever - literally. Sometimes they are a quote I heard the day before, or they may come from my devotional time that weigh heavy on my heart and mind. I've been doing this ever since I started and I plan on continuing. Even though I am a by-the-book policy and procedure guy, there is no policy on this and inspirational thoughts I'm sure would be approved. The embedded images are some of the notes I get back from my inmates.

Why do I do it? As of June 5, 2016, 63% (92 of 145) of my dormitory residents will be released from their prison sentence by the year 2020. Will they be ready?  Is there anything we can do, indeed something I can do to help them in their successful re-entry back into society to help them be employed, responsible, caring and law-abiding sons, fathers and husbands. That is why I do what I do.

My guideline for notes to inmates is that it must be applicable to all. If it is religious in nature, which my notes sometime are, they must be acceptable to all faiths. The faiths represented in my dorm right now include several Christian denominations, Jewish, Islam, Wicca and Buddhism (that I know of). 

This is what my last note said:

Faith and Family

Faith and family are two things we should hold dear and value the most. What can you do today to strengthen these? A letter? A prayer? A thought? A phone call?  Think about it.

Follows is another note back from one of my inmates...

My A Dorm Canteen Poem

In the prison dormitory I wrote this for my inmates who moan, groan, weep and wail if they don't get to go to canteen. Canteen in prison is like a convenience store for us.  Items are limited and overpriced, but sometimes canteen food is better than normal prison meals.  They don't just sell food. In the canteen you can also purchase good soap, sweet smelling shampoo and deodorant - things that are not issued by the state. The canteen is also like a bank. When prison inmates pay back debts to other inmates, canteen items are the currency.  For example an inmate may say, "I'll write a letter for you for three packs of soup."

A Dorm Canteen

What will this afternoon bring?

I'm proud the dorm is so clean.

Rain may bring a mess,

But we'll do our best.

To help you get to canteen.

Everyday I leave notes in the window or speak with the inmates in a large group to motivate and encourage them to do better. To remember there is life beyond prison for most of them, and to do their best to better themselves.  Overall they are responding well to this type of encouragement, but some of my words are more accepted than others.  When I read this poem to them, they thought I was weird.

As you know the limerick is my favorite way to express short thoughts in the form of a poem. A limerick is a humorous, frequently bawdy, verse of three long and two short lines with a rhyming pattern of aabba.  These were popularized by Edward Lear in the late 1800's who wrote this:

There was a young lady of Niger

who smiled as she rode on a tiger;

They returned from the ride

with the lady inside,

and the smile on the face of the tiger.

For more information on limericks, just Google it.  There is boat loads of information on this style of poetry.

At One With Nature, My Journal Entry

This was taken directly from my journal, June 1, 2014 at 5:30 am while on Post Duty at work.

I need to set this up a bit.  Post Duty at the prison I work consists of alternating driving and sitting, always observing the facility for something that might look out of the ordinary.  Yes, it could at the worst be an escape attempt or break in, but other things that could arise too like someone wandering about when/where they shouldn't be, or simply a mechanical situation.  It can be extremely boring, driving 3.5 mph around a prison, looking at the same thing over and over for 4 to 8 hours per 12 hour shift, so I look for all that is happening around me.  In that time, I am extremely aware of the moment, noticing every sound, movement and potential smell.

This time allows me to get close to the surrounding nature as well.  Our facility is close to nature, so I get to see all kinds of animals which is always a highlight for me.  Here's my entry...

On Post duty, sitting in the car outside the prison, and get this! For the last 10 minutes I have been mocking the calls of a Mockingbird, just 10 feet away sitting on the razor wire inside the fence. (Whistling as I write, and I can hardly do so) This little guy goes on with a tune for a few seconds, then I mock him, and he mocks me.  It's incredible!  Never felt so one with nature, or experienced this before.

Also earlier on the other side I saw a brand new spotted baby Whitetail fawn and it's mama, still wobbly-legged, cute as could be.  I also saw tonight on this shift a big raccoon, I call Edgar, a possum, a Swamp Rabbit, and the other night I actually saw a mole, not on me, but the mammel kind about the size of a mouse, with a long nose.  These little guys dig in the dirt for grubs, and are famous for tearing up residential laws.  It's 6:30am now, and I'm observing a big black feral hog, digging up the ground, probably a 150 pounder.  Gotta go now, next shift employees beginning to arrive.

Nature surrounds us everywhere, if we'll only just take the time to stop, be still and observe.  What a great opportunity to count our blessings; realize an appreciate these spectacular creatures God has blessed us with.  Solitude can be our friend if we let it.

I've Got Friends in Low Places

As I was leaving my post the other night, an inmate yelled through the window, "Drive safe Mr. Koerner, see you Wednesday!"  I replied, "Ok, thank you."  Normally that would be a nice farewell, but the fact the inmate knew my schedule without me telling anyone bothered me a bit.

Most of my readers know I work in Corrections.  I am a Correctional Officer for the state of Florida, and formerly a ReEntry/Transition Specialist and prison educator.  My goal is to become a Chaplain one day.

It's a hard job that pushes me to my physical and emotional limits.  I have dreams about it at night and some weeks I get little done other than work.  At the prison I have twelve hour days, 60 hours one week, 24 hours the next, then I do it again.

The reason I do it is because God told me to, plain and simple.  In the prison dormitory I supervise about 130 men.  Their crimes range from everything imaginable, including multiple DUI's, sex offenses, fraud, drug crimes and murder.  Some will be released this year, some never.

When I was a Youth Development Agent for the 4-H program, every summer I taught summer camp for children of incarcerated parents.  I could see the developmental wounds their upbringing had caused and decided something had to be done.  Yes it's good to help the kids, but more importantly I told myself, "What we need to do is get these parents out of prison and have them raise their kids in a home of love and positive virtues." Then I ask, "Lord, how can I help with this?" Then an opening appeared on the Dept. of Corrections website.

97% of Florida inmates will be released from prison.  When they do, will they take care of their families or recidivate (commit another crime)? Is there anything I can do to make a difference? I cannot answer this question because only time will tell. But what I do at work is treat the inmates like human beings who deserve respect and hold them to the rules, policies and procedures.  I do not give special privileges to some or degrade any. I hold my dormitory inmates to a high standard and expect their best (but prepare for the worst).

My experience thus far has been a positive one.  I don't know if I'll remain in security for a long time, but working with these men in some capacity is something I feel the need to continue. My inmates are responding to respect with respect back to me, and I appreciate it. It is creating a positive environment that is more safe than it used to be.

It is said that no one truly knows a nation until one has been inside its jails. A nation should not be judged by how it treats its highest citizens, but its lowest ones. - Nelson Mandela

gk

A Kind Word is Like a Sip of Water

Before I became a Correctional Officer (CO) and was in the process of considering the position, I received some wise advice from a CO Sergeant of 25 years whom I highly respected, and is now retired. She said to me, Mr. Koerner just remember, your job is about care, custody and control. Be firm, fair and consistent and tell the inmates don't mistake my kindness for weakness. As new CO again, I perform my job by those words, and I've not regretted it.  Kindness de-escalates tension which creates a safer environment. Conversely, there are times when a situation is serious and procedures need to be followed to the letter and kindness doesn't seem so kind anymore.

On my to work a few days ago, these words of clarity came to me, "A kind word is like a sip of water to dry lips. Give someone a drink." So I did. When an inmate passed by me I'd say "good morning" or
"How's it going?"I even admonished some with that new quote, and told them to pass it along. They said they would.

Then at the end of the day on my way home I got to listen to the NPR Orlando show Friends Talking Faith by the Three Wise Guys, and heard this:

The Dalai Lama once said, "My religion is kindness." Perhaps in this often angry, fearful and rancorous political climate in our nation, it’s time for people of faith to stand and be counted on the side of kindness. For it’s only through the spirit of kindness that we’ll be able to fashion a society, a culture and a nation fit to live in. – Reverend Bryan G. Fulwider

From Friends Talking Faith, May 3, 2016 – Faith & Politics: Difference between Separation and Distinction. 

Show someone kindness today, and give thanks to God for kindness received.

A Prison Teacher Begins His Day

A Prison Teacher Begins His Day

Safe light. I look across a field of blue,
Moving, stirring, coming this way.
A vertical white stripe runs down the pant leg.
An inmate comes into view.

They enter the classroom willing to learn,
Some more than others.
A few eager, and some not enthusiastic.
Many just come because it’s a safe place for time to burn.

Teaching men who committed crimes,
I’m here to do my part, to help transform.
Hopefully they will become anew,
As they survive and do their time. Some decades.

We all have our role to which we’ve been ordained.
Mine to help these men who’ve been imprisoned,
That they may eventually resume their lives,
And return to our communities again.

gk
3/21/16

I Stand All Amazed

Yesterday I had opportunities to offer pastoral counseling to two inmates.  The Spirit was there, and I was able to do it without going outside my scope of work.  These moments pop up frequently.

I realize - know (as in a recent ah-ha moment for me) that I am a pastor of the Lord (with a little p) and the prison I work in is part of my parish.  So grateful.

This song below, I Stand All Amazed...

I sang it as a kid in the LDS church and it meant a lot to me back then.  When I recently researched it, I found the author was a Presbyterian man who later converted to Methodism.  By the end of his life Charles Gabriel wrote thousands of hymns and published numerous hymnals for mostly protestant denominations. Hope you enjoy it.  If you want to hear it live click here for The Lower Lights version on YouTube - one of my favorite bands.

I Stand All Amazed

I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me,
Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me.
I tremble to know that for me he was crucified,
That for me, a sinner, he suffered, he bled and died.

(Chorus)

Oh, it is wonderful that he should care for me
Enough to die for me!
Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!

I marvel that he would descend from his throne divine
To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine,
That he should extend his great love unto such as I,
Sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify.

I think of his hands pierced and bleeding to pay the debt!
Such mercy, such love and devotion can I forget?
No, no, I will praise and adore at the mercy seat,
Until at the glorified throne I kneel at his feet.

Text and music: Charles H. Gabriel, 1856-1932
Aka. Charlotte G. Homer, H. A. Henry, and S. B. Jackson
Song (1898/1905)

Florida Department of Corrections: Inspiring success by transforming one life at a time. - and yes, I do buy into this.  I experience it daily.

But, For The Grace of God Go I

The poem I created this morning while waking up...  "But by the grace of God go we.  May light to others may we be. - gus

About twelve years ago (2004) Sandy and I saw Flogging Molly at the Warped Tour and again at the House of Blues in Orlando, and little did I know how their music would have such an impact on me.

Over the last week I've had this song in my head running over and over, all day - all night.  In a way it drives me nuts, but in another way I find it so comforting.  Please read to the end, after the song for its full significance for me.

Grace of God Go I
By Flogging Molly, Swagger, 2000

Lookin down through a tide of no return
Is a field where the crops no longer grow
Parched is the land, strangled an be damned
There for the grace of God go I

Down beside where the riverbed sleeps
Is a man not knowin what he should feel
Mocked by the wave that beats the waters edge
There for the grace of God
There for the grace of God
There for the grace of God go I

If I ever hurt another like Thee again
I would drown myself beneath Your name
Lost was the child, we all once did hide
There for the grace of God
There for the grace of God
There for the grace of God go I

Songwriters: Bridget Regan, David King, Dennis Casey, Robert Anthony Schmidt, Matthew Hensley, Nathen Jeglinski, George Edward Schwindt
Published by: 26f Gellert Hill Music; Twentysixf Music

The original line and (near) title is attributed to John Bradford (1510-1555), an English Protestant theologian and reformer who was burned at the stake for speaking against the Church of England. In the phrase “But for the grace of God Go I.” he is referring to prisoners being executed for the same evil deeds he had committed himself, but not punished for.

Today I shared the lyrics with one of my prison inmate students who has a severe anger management problem, which has at times landed him in solitary confinement.  In my class alone, he's come close to being escorted out in hand-cuffs for his tendency to go to fight at a minor offense of one of his peers.

After an hour or so of pondering the words to this song he came and shared with me some of his childhood issues and how he needs to work on areas of depression, anxiety and anger management. He's going to write a paper on the song for me (G.E.D. preparation) and how the imagery aligns with his life experience.

Easter Review

I cannot let this Easter day pass by without writing what it meant to me.  After all, it is the day our Lord was resurrected, arose from the dead after three days in the tomb.  He is risen!

This had been one of my most memorable Easter seasons in my life, starting with Ash Wednesday.  On Ash Wednesday, we attended a service at church and departed with a charcoal cross on our foreheads, having made a Lenten sacrifice i.e, "giving up something" for Lent.  I gave up nothing.  Instead I took on a daily devotion to the process and leading up to the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.

This has been a 40 days of inner reflection and thoughts of the future and the past.  I've asked questions such as why has God called me to teach in prison?  How can I have a positive impact on my students, in not only attaining their G.E.D., but on the rest of their lives? Is this a calling or just a job?  Are my Mom and Dad proud of me and are they watching over me?  Or are they just dead?

How am I supposed to serve in the ministry?  Should I just keep serving as a Lay person or become ordained as a Methodist minister?  How can I have a positive impact on my children when they live so far away?

Does every Dad and person contemplate these deep questions or similar?  I don't know.

As Easter comes and goes, soon it will be summer and the clock keeps ticking, and the calendar turns over day by day I will continue to reflect.
How do I make the Easter season of 2015 come alive for me? Where am I supposed to go with it, and what can I do to share the love of Jesus Christ to my neighbor next door and the prison inmate closed in behind razor wire?

Side bar - there were two inmates stabbed at my workplace today according to the news.  I don't know the story behind it, but it has affected my Easter Sunday in a way that few can understand.

Keep following along with me and experience my journey with me.  I'd like that.

Photo Credit: My wife Sandy from the Max Brewer bridge in Titusville, FL.  Used with permission.

Thanksgiving 2014

What a wonderful time of year it is!  Family over, an incredible meal on its way, the Macy's Parade on TV and later, Detroit vs. Chicago football.  I think it's my favorite holiday of the year. I know, however, to stay out of the kitchen on Thanksgiving.  I love to cook, but in our home the ladies own the kitchen today, and are working harder and faster than a NASCAR pit crew on race day!

Most of all we need to remember, that it's a day for gratitude.  In the United States, no matter what our economic lot, we all have blessings afforded to us by the grace of God and through our Constitution. We can worship God as we please, we can peacefully protest, our children receive a good education. Can we complain that our freedoms aren't "free enough" or how our education system could be better?  Of course.

A few years ago my salary was twice what is now, and I took it for granted.  I felt like I deserved more, yet I had a hard time controlling my spending.  I still feel like I deserve more and still have a hard time controlling my finances.  My situation is not uncommon, as a matter of fact its the norm of America, and some things will never change.  As Americans, individually and as a government, we need to work on that.  But if you're reading this story right now, chances are you are not homeless and went to the public library to read it on their free internet enabled computers.  You're more than likely reading it from your home computer or mobile device.  You are blessed.

I work in a prison, mostly in the hospital hospice unit, and I am inspired every day by inmates that are thankful that things aren't worse for them.  They appreciate the chapel volunteers who come visit them, the coffee cake for breakfast on Tuesday, the annual piece of processed sliced turkey once a year on Thanksgiving, and the warm sunshine on their face out on the recreation yard. Some inmates are mean spirited and bitter of course, but many whom I see and talk to express feelings of gratitude for the simple privileges that they have been granted.  Everyday one particular inmate says hello to me, and when I ask how he is, he cheerfully responds, "I'm blessed by the Best". He's serving a life sentence.  That's when I start counting my blessings.  See my story All Things Good, if you need help in counting your blessings.

Last Sunday we had our annual Thanksgiving dinner after church.  That reminded me to count my blessings of community, good friends who care and the solidarity of fellow Christian believers.

I provided below my Dutch Oven Potatoes recipe at the pot-luck dinner as I promised on Twitter, @guskoerner.

Tools, ingredients and instructions:
1 - 10-12 inch cast iron Dutch Oven or camp stove oven
2 - big spoons, 1 regular, 1 strainer
1 - heat source to 350 degrees F. (range or campfire)
Cooking time 1 hour.
Prep. time 1 hour.
----------
5 pounds of potatoes. Whatever is on sale. Cleaned and chopped into uniform cubes 1/2 to 3/4 inches.
1 pound of bacon
1 large onion, chopped to 1/2 inch pieces, not too fine or course.  Kids hate large onion pieces.
12 fl. oz. of liquid such as 1 can of lemon/lime soda, or beer or water
1 stick of butter (1/4 pound)
2 1/2 cups grated sharp cheddar cheese

I prepared my meal indoors using the stove and oven, but could have also used hot coals outside. Here's how to make it...In the dutch oven on the stove, medium heat, cut up and fry all the bacon.  I use scissors to cut up the whole pack at once into 1/2 inch lengths across the grain into the hot pot.

When the bacon is done, strain them off into a bowl and fry the chopped onion until browned and translucent. When the onions are done, spoon the onions and bacon fat out and combine with the fried bacon already set aside.

In the hot dutch oven, use all the liquid to de-glaze the bottom.  Scrape gently with a spoon to get all that yummy bacon and onion unstuck from the bottom, being careful not to nick the seasoned cast iron.

Warning  - a dutch oven full of potatoes can easily weigh over 10 pounds, and combined with the heat and awkwardness of putting it in and out of the oven is a potential burn hazard.  Please use good, oven mitts and be very careful.  You may need assistance.

Preheat your oven now to 350 degrees.  Add 1/2 of the cubed potatoes to the oven, salt and pepper liberally, add 1/2 of the bacon/onion mixture spread across the top.  Add the remaining potatoes, salt and pepper liberally, and the spread out the remaining bacon/onion mixture.  Put on the lid and bake the dutch over for 30 minutes, then remove from the oven, stir the entire pot and add the butter evenly over the top in 1/4 inch slices.  Bake for 30 more minutes.  Remove the dutch oven from the oven/heat, stir the pot well one more time, add the cheese evenly across the top, put the lid back on. It will stay warm, for at least 2 hours.  Let it rest for 20 minutes before serving.

Happy Thanksgiving to all, and we miss our dear friends and family.  God bless our troops!

What is your North Star?

This story is about acknowledging the positive aspects of our lives, and finding a reliable "compass" or way to guide us.  For those who believe in God, it is about surrender and discipleship.  For non-believers, it is about finding positive role models and life attributes to follow and look toward.

Sometimes when life becomes challenging for us, we need to look beyond our current situations and try to envision the “big picture”  or overall life perspective of the situation, detach ourselves from the anxieties of now and look to a power greater than us to give us strength and direction.

My journal entry from September 29, 2014, 9:00 PM at the prison where I work.

I’m on Outside Perimeter Post tonight at the prison, driving in circles around the outside fence making sure everything is secure.  It’s a rainy night, and it has been drizzling all day long, kind of melancholy, and in a moment of contemplation I wrote this:

What is your North Star?

Lately I've been thinking a lot at night about the stars in the sky.  Spending most of my time in the city nowadays, it’s been a long time since I've seen a clear starry night.  I can’t even remember the last time I went outside and searched for Polaris, the North Star.

For centuries explorers and navigators on both land and sea have used the stars to guide them.  The 16th century explorer Ferdinand Magellan, the first person to circumnavigate the globe, traveled over 37,000 miles.  He primarily used celestial bodies, such as Polaris and seasonal winds to find his way and lead other countless travelers to do the same.  This accomplishment established trade routes that helped civilization develop and grow that we still use today.

In the absence of these guiding lights in the sky, how would he have done this?  He possibly could have done it without these navigational aids, but chances are he would have spent countless weeks or months wandering about not knowing where he was or which direction he was going.

We don’t navigate by stars anymore, at least us city dwellers.  We have roads, maps, and speaking GPS navigators on our phones and at our fingertips, taking us to our destination literally turn by turn.  But metaphorically, what are we using as our Polaris to lead us through life?  Some of us are driven in a certain direction by career, family, money, ambition, education or similar; some of us by religion or politics.  Ultimately all of these drivers are just temporary guides that change.  They are proven to be inconsistent, flawed, of less significant value and can potentially misdirect us.

The North Star doesn't move.  It’s in the north sky and is, and always will be a reliable guide.  I think of God this way.  When my life gets misdirected and my priorities get misaligned it’s because I've taken my eyes off God, the North Star of the Universe and replaced it with something less reliable (usually worry).

Here is a Bible verse in John, chapter 14 that hit me like a rock!  1. Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me (Jesus)… 5. Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?” 6. Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me. 

So if your life is lacking direction or if your compass has become misaligned, consider switching to the Great Navigator, God to provide direction and see how that works for you.  May you be blessed in your journey. - gus

PS. If you like this, comment below and share it with a friend.  Meet me on Twitter @guskoerner

A Brighter Day

This is actually a personal journal entry, but our lives are enriched when we share them with others.  Here it is from the other night...

I wonder if I can write anything tonight.  It’s been kind of a rough day, not of labor or stress, but one of over rest and over indulgence.  After working nearly a year these twelve hour night shifts at the prison, they still mess up my schedule.  I’m anxious right now, but don’t know about what.

I don’t feel very much like a Christian today, but my faith tells me different.  I am feeling my human side in a strong way.  Seems funny and ironic, after all I am human.  Shouldn't I feel anything but?  Has anyone else ever felt this way I wonder.

I realize however, God never promised us life would be easy and without challenges.  Struggles of health, career, relationships or inadequacies, etc. have always been part of the human condition.

So what do we do when we feel this way?  We can wallow in our misery or we can rely on faith and stand on the promises of God.  We take one step forward in obedience and walk toward and into the light of Christ.  We thank Him for all things good and count our blessings. This down time we’re in will pass, and soon again we will feel the embrace of His Spirit that moves us to a brighter day.  We step out in obedience to His word, with faith in His healing.

I hope people realize this experience of mine is applicable to the non-believer as well.  It is about acknowledging the positive aspects of our life which are many, if we think about it.  To the Christian, it’s particularly important because it represents one important aspect of discipleship, namely surrender.  We need to abandon attachments and anxieties of this world for faith in a power greater than ourselves to sustain us and which gives us strength.

References:
Hymn, I Need Thee Every Hour, Annie S. Hawks, 1872 and Matt Maher - Lord, I Need You

Hebrews 4:16 - Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Psalm 143:1 - Hear my prayer, O Lord; give ear to my supplications in your faithfulness,

Gus
---------
September 24th, 2014, 12:35 am

A Word on Grace and Nature

I've been thinking about this story for quite some time, but something came together the other night out on post at the prison that forced me to put my thoughts down on paper.

It wasn't until I was 41 years old that I knew, or at least begin to understand the meaning of the word Grace, in a religious or spiritual context.  At the time I had been attending a local Catholic church and noticed that the word was being used frequently.  So one day I asked a friend specifically what Grace means, and I’ll never forget her words and simple definition.  She said, “Grace is everything good that comes from God!”

Fourteen years later I frequently still think about that simple, yet profound definition.  I've realized and learned though, that with grace comes responsibility.  For example, God blessed me with beautiful children, but I have a great responsibility to care for them.  Dietrich Bonhoeffer, in his book The Cost of Discipleship beautifully describes grace and refers to “cheap grace” and “costly grace”.  Simply put, when we abuse grace of any kind, we demean its value to us.  When we knowing and willingly "sin" like there’s no tomorrow, we devalue grace in our lives (cheap grace).  When we acknowledge and appreciate grace in our lives, take it seriously with gratitude and share it with others we heighten or raise its value toward what God meant it to be, acknowledging "costly" grace.

The other night while out on post duty at the prison (patrolling the perimeter) I came within two feet of an Armadillo rooting in the grass for grubs.  I just watched it for a while, appreciating how its armor can protect it. I saw a Raccoon scavenge for food and climbed a tree when I approached.  I was able to witness for some time a deer family feed.  The Papa was so close I could count his four young antler points in the darkness, and on the fawn I could see it’s faint spots on its hind leg.  Mama was there too.

“This is grace!”, I thought, and suddenly realized the “cost of grace” in this situation.  If we take our environment for granted, we lessen its value.  If we appreciate nature and practice sound conservation, we will be able to share this “grace” with our children and future generations.  This is what stewardship is all about, taking care of the little bits and pieces of grace we encounter daily, and share them with others.  In this way we show our gratitude to God, and bless our own lives and others.

So the next time you see a child, a squirrel, butterfly, sunset or other beautiful thing take the time to appreciate it and thank God who provided it, then say, "Hey Look!"

See my related story All Things Good, (21 Aug 14).  If you like this, share it with a friend. - gus

Angel Friends

Count your blessings though you don't see how.  See the goodness that you have right now.

Angels watching over us when we lose our way. Who're there in the form of friends and family and listen to every word we say.

Angels watching over us when we think all's lost.  Showing the loving arms of our Savior who paid the final cost.

Angels watching over us when that loved one says goodbye.  Who encourages us to keep going when we don't want to try.

Angels showing us daily in the form of children and friends, wrapping their arms around us, as we begin to mend.

Count your blessings though you don't see how. See the goodness that you have all right now.

What is your calling?

Calling, noun – 1. a strong inner impulse toward a particular course of action especially when accompanied by conviction of divine influence; 2. the vocation or profession in which one customarily engages.  - Merriam-Webster

When I was a younger man I had no idea what a calling was, not to mention what my own was or was to be.  All I know was what I enjoyed doing, and later realized that some of the things I enjoyed, I was actually good at!  It wasn't until just a few years ago that I took these two parameters: 1. things I enjoy, and 2. things I was good at that, and added a third - things that I have a passion for.

The thing I loved most as a child through today is making friends and building relationships.  I am of people person.  As a 6 year old, I would sit on the curb and wave at cars passing by, hoping they would wave back.  As I grew older I naturally fell into the education field, and found I was particularly good at training and partnership building.

It wasn't until I started working with at risk kids, unfocused youth and prison inmates that I had an Ah-Ha moment of how important my job was.  I realized God had woven a tapestry with my life, giving me opportunities to use these gifts to help others.  Mine has not been a career of sharing God’s Word or the gospel message because I can’t.  I've worked for the government for the past some-odd 30 years.  But what I can do in my work and daily life is share the love of Christ as I can, as He and others have shown me.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. – Romans 8:28 (KJV)

I hope this will help you to look deep into your own life to find your natural skills and abilities, so as to narrow down what your calling may be sooner rather than later – and then act upon it!  As parents, we need to help our children find theirs.  As much as we may want to give them a calling, we can’t.  Each of us must find our own by divine help.  When we’re doing what we love, and what we’re good at – when ability, skill and passion all come together we can find happiness and fulfillment in our work, and which may be our calling.

I’ll Go Where You Want Me to Go
It may not be on the mountain’s height, or over the stormy sea;
It may not be at the battle’s front my Lord will have need of me;
But if by a still, small voice He calls to paths I do not know,
I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in Thine,
I’ll go where You want me to go. -  Mary Houghton Brown (1856-1918), Song History

Favorite Prison Songs

This started with a tweet, and the list is growing. The title of this story is kinda off, because these aren't really my favorite songs, it's more like prison songs are in my top favorite genre's.  So what's yours? Comment here or tweet me @guskoerner #prisonsongs

Here's the list...

Blake Shelton - Ol' Red
Merle Haggard - Mama Tried
Johnny Cash - Folsom Prison Blues
Johnny Cash - San Quentin
Jimmy Page - Prison Blues
David Allan Coe- If That Ain't Country

Good Ol' Mr. Hicks, a story for Correctional Officers

Back in December 2012, when I interviewed for a job as a Florida Correctional Officer I had a meeting with the Warden, Mr. David McCallum. I recall he said, "Remember brown and blue don't mix."  He was referring to officers (who wear brown) crossing the ethical line of being too friendly with an inmates (in blue).  Some inmates may be genuine and reforming, but the majority can be manipulative and officers can fall prey to them.

That thought has been with me, especially lately as I've met some really nice guys that are inmates, seemingly harmless fellows over the age of 70.

Last week, I was chatting with four elderly inmates at  breakfast, and I later found out that three of the four are in for murder.  So I wrote this poem...

"My Friend Mr. Hicks", by a Correctional Officer to his colleagues.

1) I met this man the other day, we seemed to hit it off.  Kind and friendly was his way, my buddies seemed to scoff.

Refrain
Brown and blue were meant for you, remember they never mix.  Not even with a good ol' boy, like inmate Mr. Hicks.

2) His name is Walt and he has a fault that happened long time ago.  It doesn't matter how or why, the fact is that its so.

Refrain

3) His blues are faded, is heart is jaded, his mind not fully there. He's doing life, for killing his wife, and doesn't seem to care.

Brown and blue were meant for you, remember they never mix. Don't cross the line, or you'll do the time, like good ol' Mr. Hicks.

Fellow officers, be firm, fair and consistent, but don't cross the line. - FLDOC Officer G. Koerner, Jan. 8, 2013.

On Post (For Peace)

The still of the night is only disturbed by the rush of traffic on my left, and the knowledge of people held behind razor wire on my right. But still there is an eerie peace, albeit false.  How can anyone or anything be at ease in this environment?

My mind wanders beyond this location to be back at home for stillness, rest and peace.  But is it there? I'm a frayed knot.

For amidst the shelter of a roof and protective walls, is a spirit of discord that has arisen from the conflict of every day life.  "My peace I leave with you." He says.  But where?

God grant me the ability to be an instrument of peace wherever I am.  Help me to know what I experience is normal, and peace comes from within, from our Savior.

Whether my surroundings are walls or wire, open air or the presence of others, let your serenity flow through me I pray.

G. Koerner, Jan. 6, 2014, 9pm.