Call to Action (a note on depression)

Psalm 91: 1-2 (NIV)

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

An interpretation of this verse:

Call to Action.
I feel so ashamed of the man I've become,
It's time to start living in the light of the Son!
His fortress!  It shadows all those who come home,
So all who are in Him, that they may be one.

A light in the darkness to those who come near,
Bringing them out from the darkness and depths of despair.

I hope readers don't come away with the feeling that I'm going to do something to harm myself.
I'm okay - really.  If you read this poem again, and the rest of my work (I hope) you'll find peace and redemption at the end of the initial stress lines of the verse.

God is my fortress and without the love of His Spirit embracing me, I may have not come out of those dark places I've experienced.  Sometimes depression can rear its ugly head.

The shame I mention above has to do with second-thought thinking of decisions I made earlier in life that were sometimes unhealthy or selfish, such as:   What if I had been a better example to my children?  What if I would have gotten a Master's degree at age 28 instead of trying in my 50's? What if I would have spent more time with my parents before they died?  What if I would have answered the call to ministry earlier in life?  What if? What if?

These thoughts come to me sometimes late at night and I give them to the Lord right then.  In this poem, line one came as I was dozing off so I wrote it down and went to sleep.  The hope came the next morning during my dawn devotional reading of Psalm 91.  This whole experience was kind of like a dance between me and God.  I reached out, He reached back.

Depression is a major world illness, but does not have to be left silent and secret.  If you suffer from it, seek help and come home to to your Father who will give you peace. Close friends can help too.

gk, Feb. 22, 2016

The Story of the Wayward Son Has Daily Implications

It seems almost daily I am impressed with the message of this story.  I've written about it before, but this time is different. See this story from 2012.

Recently I offended someone I dearly love.  They snapped back in response, and then I was offended by what they said to me.  This is life, and humanness at its finest!

My paraphrased version the story in Luke 15 is about a young man who wasted his inheritance on extravagant living, then came home with nothing.  He was judged harshly by his brother, but forgiven and loved by his Dad.  It raises the question to me of who was more at fault, the wasteful or the judgmental brother.  Implicitly the story points us to the example we need to follow is that of the father.  All of us will at some time do foolish things, and we will also judge those who do the same.   Sometimes the only consequence comes to the ‘lawbreaker’, but those who cannot mentally or emotionally place themselves in the other’s position, risk self-righteousness which is unjustified in any case from an eternal perspective. Who am I to cast the first stone?  The one we should be trying to emulate is the father in this story; loving and forgiving those who err in spite of their actions.  That is what the message Christ bids us to follow. (see image credit below)

In the dictionary, the word prodigal is characterized by profuse spending, so much so that it could be described as wasteful.  In this story all three characters go to prodigal extremes in their behaviors.  Which person best describes your actions and behavior lately?

Read this story again from the point of view of a person you have offended or been offended by…

The Parable of the Prodigal and His Brother, from Luke 15:11-32 (NRSV)

11. Then Jesus said, “There was a man who had two sons. 12. The younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of the property that will belong to me.’ So he divided his property between them. 13. A few days later the younger son gathered all he had and traveled to a distant country, and there he squandered his property in dissolute living. 14. When he had spent everything, a severe famine took place throughout that country, and he began to be in need. 15. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed the pigs. 16. He would gladly have filled himself with the pods that the pigs were eating; and no one gave him anything. 17. But when he came to himself he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired hands have bread enough and to spare, but here I am dying of hunger! 18. I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; 19. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me like one of your hired hands.”’ 20. So he set off and went to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him. 21. Then the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22. But the father said to his slaves, ‘Quickly, bring out a robe—the best one—and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23. And get the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; 24. for this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!’ And they began to celebrate.

25. “Now his elder son was in the field; and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. 26. He called one of the slaves and asked what was going on. 27. He replied, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fatted calf, because he has got him back safe and sound.’ 28. Then he became angry and refused to go in. His father came out and began to plead with him. 29. But he answered his father, ‘Listen! For all these years I have been working like a slave for you, and I have never disobeyed your command; yet you have never given me even a young goat so that I might celebrate with my friends. 30. But when this son of yours came back, who has devoured your property with prostitutes; you killed the fatted calf for him!’ 31. Then the father said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32. But we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and has come to life; he was lost and has been found.’”

Image credit - this image is by the Japanese artist Soichi Watanabe, titled “The Prodigal Son Returns which was on display at the Yale Institute of Sacred Music, 2009.  More on this artist.
The photo originally on this post was removed due to copyright infringement.  Mr. Watanabe will be paid a fee prior to me posting it again.  In the meantime, please see the link above.

What is your North Star?

This story is about acknowledging the positive aspects of our lives, and finding a reliable "compass" or way to guide us.  For those who believe in God, it is about surrender and discipleship.  For non-believers, it is about finding positive role models and life attributes to follow and look toward.

Sometimes when life becomes challenging for us, we need to look beyond our current situations and try to envision the “big picture”  or overall life perspective of the situation, detach ourselves from the anxieties of now and look to a power greater than us to give us strength and direction.

My journal entry from September 29, 2014, 9:00 PM at the prison where I work.

I’m on Outside Perimeter Post tonight at the prison, driving in circles around the outside fence making sure everything is secure.  It’s a rainy night, and it has been drizzling all day long, kind of melancholy, and in a moment of contemplation I wrote this:

What is your North Star?

Lately I've been thinking a lot at night about the stars in the sky.  Spending most of my time in the city nowadays, it’s been a long time since I've seen a clear starry night.  I can’t even remember the last time I went outside and searched for Polaris, the North Star.

For centuries explorers and navigators on both land and sea have used the stars to guide them.  The 16th century explorer Ferdinand Magellan, the first person to circumnavigate the globe, traveled over 37,000 miles.  He primarily used celestial bodies, such as Polaris and seasonal winds to find his way and lead other countless travelers to do the same.  This accomplishment established trade routes that helped civilization develop and grow that we still use today.

In the absence of these guiding lights in the sky, how would he have done this?  He possibly could have done it without these navigational aids, but chances are he would have spent countless weeks or months wandering about not knowing where he was or which direction he was going.

We don’t navigate by stars anymore, at least us city dwellers.  We have roads, maps, and speaking GPS navigators on our phones and at our fingertips, taking us to our destination literally turn by turn.  But metaphorically, what are we using as our Polaris to lead us through life?  Some of us are driven in a certain direction by career, family, money, ambition, education or similar; some of us by religion or politics.  Ultimately all of these drivers are just temporary guides that change.  They are proven to be inconsistent, flawed, of less significant value and can potentially misdirect us.

The North Star doesn't move.  It’s in the north sky and is, and always will be a reliable guide.  I think of God this way.  When my life gets misdirected and my priorities get misaligned it’s because I've taken my eyes off God, the North Star of the Universe and replaced it with something less reliable (usually worry).

Here is a Bible verse in John, chapter 14 that hit me like a rock!  1. Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me (Jesus)… 5. Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?” 6. Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me. 

So if your life is lacking direction or if your compass has become misaligned, consider switching to the Great Navigator, God to provide direction and see how that works for you.  May you be blessed in your journey. - gus

PS. If you like this, comment below and share it with a friend.  Meet me on Twitter @guskoerner

A Brighter Day

This is actually a personal journal entry, but our lives are enriched when we share them with others.  Here it is from the other night...

I wonder if I can write anything tonight.  It’s been kind of a rough day, not of labor or stress, but one of over rest and over indulgence.  After working nearly a year these twelve hour night shifts at the prison, they still mess up my schedule.  I’m anxious right now, but don’t know about what.

I don’t feel very much like a Christian today, but my faith tells me different.  I am feeling my human side in a strong way.  Seems funny and ironic, after all I am human.  Shouldn't I feel anything but?  Has anyone else ever felt this way I wonder.

I realize however, God never promised us life would be easy and without challenges.  Struggles of health, career, relationships or inadequacies, etc. have always been part of the human condition.

So what do we do when we feel this way?  We can wallow in our misery or we can rely on faith and stand on the promises of God.  We take one step forward in obedience and walk toward and into the light of Christ.  We thank Him for all things good and count our blessings. This down time we’re in will pass, and soon again we will feel the embrace of His Spirit that moves us to a brighter day.  We step out in obedience to His word, with faith in His healing.

I hope people realize this experience of mine is applicable to the non-believer as well.  It is about acknowledging the positive aspects of our life which are many, if we think about it.  To the Christian, it’s particularly important because it represents one important aspect of discipleship, namely surrender.  We need to abandon attachments and anxieties of this world for faith in a power greater than ourselves to sustain us and which gives us strength.

References:
Hymn, I Need Thee Every Hour, Annie S. Hawks, 1872 and Matt Maher - Lord, I Need You

Hebrews 4:16 - Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Psalm 143:1 - Hear my prayer, O Lord; give ear to my supplications in your faithfulness,

Gus
---------
September 24th, 2014, 12:35 am

On My Honor

When I was 11 years old the only thing I knew of or cared about God was the word itself.  I knew He was important, “God” was a big deal, but had no inkling of more.  I was 11!  In Boy Scouts we sang a song that would later have a profound effect on my life.  I can still sing it to this day – verbatim.

Back Row: Karl and Gus Koerner
Front Row: Charles Buck and David Sturdivant
about 1975

My life priorities in 1970 were 1) being acceptably popular, staying unnoticed at age 11 is a good thing.  2) girls – especially Lisa  from a distance, 3) football, and 4) Boy Scouts.  I loved Scouts.  We did cool things, and I had a Dad that participated with me (a little too much in my opinion).  To his credit I think he tried to keep a distance and tried to let me have a parent-less experience.  We camped, went on canoe trips, hiked in the woods, caught snakes, started fires and shot guns.  What more could a kid want?

In Scouting at the time, they weren't ashamed to say the word God.  After all, it’s still part of our nation isn't it? - In God We Trust and all.  It was the 1970’s and things were different then.  Mentioning God was acceptable in public.

At the weekend campfires which I either participated in or lead we always sang this song at closing, which I would now call a hymn.  It’s called On my Honor, and here it is…

On My Honor
by Harry Bartelt 
On my honor, I'll do my best, to do my duty to God.
On my honor, I'll do my best, to serve my country as I may.
On my honor, I'll do my best, to do my good turn each day,
To keep my body strengthened and keep my mind awakened.
To follow paths of righteousness.
On my honor, I'll do my best.

When I now think of the song I can see plainly it contains the principles of Commitment, Discipleship, Patriotism, Service to Humanity, Personal Physical and Mental Health responsibility.  I’m sure a person could also attach other attributes, but I won’t here.  These are enough.  To this day, even though I may not live this song to its fullest, I certainly know and own the values of the song and do my best to uphold them.  I hope it is continuing in the Boy Scout program.

Train children in the right way, and when old, they will not stray. Proverbs 22:6

The photo above is when we went as a troop to Charles L. Sommers Wilderness Canoe Base for three weeks.  I'm not quite 11 years old there, but we were still singing the Scout Hymn, "On My Honor".  I'd like to give a special tribute to David Sturdivant who was my best friend and passed away a few years ago.

I hope you'll share this with a friend.

-gus

A Cliche Saved My Life

Most people dislike cliches because of their nature; trite, over used words and phrases. But one for me stands out, which is “go with the flow”. Stay with me, because that phrase literally and figuratively have saved my life. Throughout my career employers have used this phrase or its related forms, such as “adapt”, “embrace the change” and “this is the new normal” to express major changes in an organization, usually due to management turnover or budget cuts.

I gotta tell you a story about how this “adaptation” literally saved my life. My buddy Jim (pictured right) taught me how to fly fish. So once I felt pretty confident in my gear and skills, I took off to a part of the Little Bear River in southern Idaho to catch some fish. I think it was late June, when the water is still frigid cold, but the mountain run off has slowed down enough to see the rocks in the shallow places and near shore.

I got my gear together the night before, tackle, waders, cooler, etc. and the next morning I stopped by Burger King and picked up two 99 cent whoppers, one for lunch and one for on the way home and tucked them under the seat of my car. I arrived at the rivers edge about 11am and the call of the river beckoned me to hurry, yet I was enjoying the view of the mountains and greenery of my surroundings.

As usual, one hardly ever gets a bite on their first cast so I tried and tried, moving up and down the shoreline, moving out into the deeper water current as I went. Then suddenly I took one step too far into a drop-off that went over my head. My waders instantly filled with ice cold water and I found myself being sucked in deeper and faster! It was at that instant that I thought “go with the flow”. Thinking back, I consider it now one of those “God moments” when panic left me and was replaced by peace and rational thought. So instead of fighting the ice cold current, I raised my rod over my head and let the river push me downstream which naturally led me to a shallow bend where I was able to walk out and compose myself.

If I had fought the current and tried to immediately get to high ground I might have perished. But, instead I was willing to go a bit out of my way following the flow for a hundred feet or so and come out just fine.

So what’s the moral of the story? #1, don’t fish alone in the wilderness where nobody knows your whereabouts, and #2, the longer way, or new, different way than you insist upon may be a better way for you to go. Counsel with family, friends, those wiser, and especially God before we make up our mind on how things have to be, “God’s ways are not our ways…” and situations may turn out better than we expected.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.  - Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIV)

Back at the range.

Jim Bridger about 1830

Back in 2012 I was an active instructor at the gun range teaching black powder muzzle loading rifles to the 4-H kids twice a month.  My equipment was all together and organized, lesson plans memorized verbatim and I was ready for any unexpected question or situation that had to do with shooting those old smoke poles. What fun we had!

Then I left the 4h program and the classes stopped. My new job and work schedule just would not permit it longer. So I put it all away, let some of my instructor credentials expire, and just dropped it all until a few weeks ago.

An old friend of mine, Don Richards called me to see if I could and would teach a muzzle loading instructor course.  I cautiously agreed, knowing I would have to do a lot of polishing of my skills and equipment if wanted the class to be a success.  So I did.

In the class that weekend I had six adult students ranging from rookie to veteran, all black powder enthusiasts.   We shot flintlocks, percussion cap locks, shotguns and pistols.  We shot replica guns of Lewis and Clark, Jim Bridger and Buffalo Bill Cody.  We had some misfires and malfunctions, got a little dirty, killed some paper, and all came home safe and sound with smiles from an enjoyable weekend.   We had a ball, and six brand new NMLRA instructors were qualified!

Weeks later, it caused me to reflect upon God and how even though we may leave Him for a while, He never leaves us.  Even though our life’s direction might have taken us from Him for a while, and our Christianity has become a little rusty, we can come back to Him and His open arms.  We can pick up from where we left off.  We can reflect upon our lessons learned, and use those experiences away from Him as a teaching tool for ourselves and others.  Wisdom comes from experience, and experience comes from our successes as well as our failures.

In the 1st Book of John, chapter 1, verse 9 it reads, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Also, “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us.” Ephesians 1:7-8 (NIV).  I like that last line, “riches of God’s grace”!

No matter where you are in your walk with the Lord, rookie or veteran, sinner or saint, know that He loves you no matter what, and He’ll always welcome you back with open arms.

What is your calling?

Calling, noun – 1. a strong inner impulse toward a particular course of action especially when accompanied by conviction of divine influence; 2. the vocation or profession in which one customarily engages.  - Merriam-Webster

When I was a younger man I had no idea what a calling was, not to mention what my own was or was to be.  All I know was what I enjoyed doing, and later realized that some of the things I enjoyed, I was actually good at!  It wasn't until just a few years ago that I took these two parameters: 1. things I enjoy, and 2. things I was good at that, and added a third - things that I have a passion for.

The thing I loved most as a child through today is making friends and building relationships.  I am of people person.  As a 6 year old, I would sit on the curb and wave at cars passing by, hoping they would wave back.  As I grew older I naturally fell into the education field, and found I was particularly good at training and partnership building.

It wasn't until I started working with at risk kids, unfocused youth and prison inmates that I had an Ah-Ha moment of how important my job was.  I realized God had woven a tapestry with my life, giving me opportunities to use these gifts to help others.  Mine has not been a career of sharing God’s Word or the gospel message because I can’t.  I've worked for the government for the past some-odd 30 years.  But what I can do in my work and daily life is share the love of Christ as I can, as He and others have shown me.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. – Romans 8:28 (KJV)

I hope this will help you to look deep into your own life to find your natural skills and abilities, so as to narrow down what your calling may be sooner rather than later – and then act upon it!  As parents, we need to help our children find theirs.  As much as we may want to give them a calling, we can’t.  Each of us must find our own by divine help.  When we’re doing what we love, and what we’re good at – when ability, skill and passion all come together we can find happiness and fulfillment in our work, and which may be our calling.

I’ll Go Where You Want Me to Go
It may not be on the mountain’s height, or over the stormy sea;
It may not be at the battle’s front my Lord will have need of me;
But if by a still, small voice He calls to paths I do not know,
I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in Thine,
I’ll go where You want me to go. -  Mary Houghton Brown (1856-1918), Song History

Counselor and Friend

Over the past few months I've had the opportunity to meet with my pastor, one on one for counseling.  Our discussions are centered on my desire to serve in some type of ministry for the church.  We discuss my strengths and weaknesses, my education, professional, volunteer and family background and how these areas might help me discern what part of the ministry I am being call to.

During the discussions he listens intently, offers advice, gives feedback, asks thought provoking questions and often shares scripture or stories that relate.  His demeanor is always calm and comments positive.  It's not always serious talk, sometimes our discussions drift into sports related stories or even a joke now and then.

I realized not long after our last meeting that this is what my prayer life should be like.  When I approach my Father in Heaven in prayer, I can be myself without fear or intimidation. I can talk to Him as my friend and counselor and acknowledge my own strengths and weaknesses. I can ask for help and guidance.  He will speak back to me through the Holy Spirit and scripture and give me insight and wisdom, without judgment or condemnation.  As a husband, father, employee or any of the other roles I play, issues arise and I can always use some counseling or good advice.

In the New Testament, Book of James 1:5 it tells us: "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." (NIV)

I hope we can all consider our Heavenly Father, as our counselor and friend whom we will go to without hesitation.

Navigate The Storm

Click to enlarge.

Oh Lord, the waters are so great and my boat is so small. -1

Sometimes life gets turbulent, uncontrollable, yet there's one who's there all the time; invisible, but present none the less.

He holds out his hand to rescue us, to keep us from drowning in our own ocean of anxiety and despair.

Our gasps of desperation will call Him forth.  But why do we wait so long?  Let us call Him now, before the gales come, to help us navigate the storm until the waters calm.

Gus Koerner
July 22, 2014
-------------------
-1 This line is based upon the quote by an unknown author, Breton Fisherman's Prayer.  Accompanying image, The Storm on the Sea of Galilee, Rembrandt, year 1633. Photo credit Wikipedia.  Scripture Reference Luke 8:22-25.