What is Standing In The Way of You Reaching Your Peak?

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night with this phrase repeating itself through my mind, Don’t let anyone or anything stand in the way of reaching your peak!

I am not one to believe that dreams are special premonitions that come from God or a psychic realm. Yes, I do believe that God can influence our thoughts and dreams, but we may be just as likely to have certain dreams because of stress, past experiences or something we consumed that gave us a reaction, like pepperoni pizza.

I do have some idea of what inspired this post. Recently I received a copy of my Social Security benefits and projected retirement earnings. The summary was very inclusive from the year I first filed taxes at age eighteen until last year. In the chart you could see the gradual increase in annual earnings from then until now. It was very interesting.

Let's look at the following graph. It is fictional and generic, and could represent many different things.

The points on the graph could represent the stock market, home finance spending or the number of tomatoes you picked in the garden. Consider this. Is it possible that the graph could represent even a wider range of ideas for growth and decline? Could it represent human virtues such as happiness, spirituality or self-confidence?  I think it can.  Let us suppose this scenario for an example using the human trait (or way of being), Self Confidence.

Let us say Point A is when I was nineteen years old, and had all the hope and confidence in the world. I climbed through life until point B, where I was laid off from my job. At Point C I found a new source of employment until I discovered I wasn't emotionally fit for that line of work (D). Point E represents another beginning, going toward Point F which represents the future.

This could all hold true, but it is also very subjective. We cannot quantify emotions simply by the numbers, and we could have just as appropriately used Emojis on the vertical axis, like they do now for measuring pain in the hospital - but I think you understand my point.

If we spend some time contemplating our personal (or familial) growth or happiness we can begin to see trends. Using the information that comes to us from within, counseling with others and from the Still Small Voice of God we may be able to make different choices that can stem-off potential future low points in our lives.

Now back to my question. What is Standing In The Way of You Reaching Your Peak? Is it life style changes that need to be made, or relationships that need to be mended? Perhaps a job change or restructure is in order, or you need to re-evaluate your social and family life priorities. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that doing the same thing over and over brings us the same result, and until we're ready to raise ourselves up to new heights by making new and different choices, we can expect the trends to repeat themselves.


gus

My Soul Is Well

As the reader, I hope you remember I write this blog as my journal; not for you per se, but for me and my family and I give you a glimpse of what is important to me through my stories. This song is one of the most important pieces of poetry (hymns) in my life, not just because of the words, but the story behind it all.  What do we have to fear that someone else has not experienced? Mr. Spafford is one of the top 5 people I want to meet if I go to heaven because of this faith building song.

Here is the story behind this song...

Horatio G. Spafford was a successful lawyer and businessman in Chicago with a lovely family — a wife, Anna, and five children. However, they were not strangers to tears and tragedy. Their young son died with pneumonia in 1871, and in that same year, much of their business was lost in the great Chicago fire. Yet, God in His mercy and kindness allowed the business to flourish once more.


On Nov. 21, 1873, the French ocean liner, Ville du Havre was crossing the Atlantic from the U.S. to Europe with 313 passengers on board. Among the passengers were Mrs. Spafford and their four daughters. Although Mr. Spafford had planned to go with his family, he found it necessary to stay in Chicago to help solve an unexpected business problem. He told his wife he would join her and their children in Europe a few days later. His plan was to take another ship.

About four days into the crossing of the Atlantic, the Ville du Harve collided with a powerful, iron-hulled Scottish ship, the Loch Earn. Suddenly, all of those on board were in grave danger. Anna hurriedly brought her four children to the deck. She knelt there with Annie, Margaret Lee, Bessie and Tanetta and prayed that God would spare them if that could be His will, or to make them willing to endure whatever awaited them. Within approximately 12 minutes, the Ville du Harve slipped beneath the dark waters of the Atlantic, carrying with it 226 of the passengers including the four Spafford children.

A sailor, rowing a small boat over the spot where the ship went down, spotted a woman floating on a piece of the wreckage. It was Anna, still alive. He pulled her into the boat and they were picked up by another large vessel which, nine days later, landed them in Cardiff, Wales. From there she wired her husband a message which began, “Saved alone, what shall I do?” Mr. Spafford later framed the telegram and placed it in his office.

Another of the ship’s survivors, Pastor Weiss, later recalled Anna saying, “God gave me four daughters. Now they have been taken from me. Someday I will understand why.”

Mr. Spafford booked passage on the next available ship and left to join his grieving wife. With the ship about four days out, the captain called Spafford to his cabin and told him they were over the place where his children went down.


According to Bertha Spafford Vester, a daughter born after the tragedy, Spafford wrote “It Is Well With My Soul” while on this journey.

Anna gave birth to three more children, one of which died at age four with dreaded pneumonia. In August 1881, the Spaffords moved to Jerusalem. Mr. Spafford died and is buried in that city.

Here are the words written by Mr. Spafford on his journey to meet his grieving wife.

It Is Well With My Soul
by Horatio G. Spafford, 1873.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

Refrain:
It is well with my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

Refrain

My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!—
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

Refrain

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

Refrain

But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

Refrain

And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Refrain

Sources:
The Saint Augustine Record
UMC History of Hymns

An Easter Message of Hope

On one hand I cannot believe I wrote a Passover message prior to Easter.  What was I thinking?

Just let me say this...I know that my Redeemer lives. What comfort this sweet sentence gives! He lives, he lives, who once was dead. He lives, my ever-living Head.He lives to bless me with his love. He lives to plead for me above. He lives my hungry soul to feed. He lives to bless in time of need. Source

This Lenten season, Ash Wednesday through today has been a season of continual reflection.  One holy day merged into another, and now the Jewish holiday of Passover begins soon..  The Bible story can not only be wonderfully broken down into individual messages of inspiration and wisdom, but it also must be look at as a whole; the same with one’s spiritual life.

Long before I was positively influenced by Christ’s disciples in my high school (thank you), I was taught by my family and the religion of our past generations, the LDS Church.

Forty years later I recall some of the teachings and hymns of my childhood and fondly sing them under my breath, so as not to be seemingly judged by some of my main stream Christian contemporaries. As I think of Easter, this song comes to mind which is a traditional LDS hymn. I only included the first verse and the chorus because that is what rings in my heart and causes me to sing aloud.

The Day Dawn Is Breaking

The day dawn is breaking, the world is awaking,
The clouds of night's darkness are fleeing away.
The worldwide commotion, from ocean to ocean,
Now heralds the time of the beautiful day.

Beautiful day of peace and rest,
Bright be thy dawn from east to west.
Hail to thine earliest welcome ray,
Beautiful, bright, millennial day.

Now a message of hope written by a friend suffering from depression, that end in a message of hope reflected in Easter...

On My Finite Depression

Is it possible to be happy again, normal?
I get by daily by following my routine,
But sometimes it can get very dark.
Knowing deep inside I'm blessed, sometimes joyful.

Family, friends, a loving wife. A life blessed.
But shadows are comfortable and darkness my friend,
Hours pass, accomplishing nothing.
When I was younger, unstoppable this didn't need to be addressed.

I see a light ahead, just out of reach.
One week, month, year of this yet to go.
I'll hang in there, because of faith.
Faith in a a power greater, that will let this wall be breached.
I can because He is risen!

-author's name withheld.

A Prison Teacher Begins His Day

A Prison Teacher Begins His Day

Safe light. I look across a field of blue,
Moving, stirring, coming this way.
A vertical white stripe runs down the pant leg.
An inmate comes into view.

They enter the classroom willing to learn,
Some more than others.
A few eager, and some not enthusiastic.
Many just come because it’s a safe place for time to burn.

Teaching men who committed crimes,
I’m here to do my part, to help transform.
Hopefully they will become anew,
As they survive and do their time. Some decades.

We all have our role to which we’ve been ordained.
Mine to help these men who’ve been imprisoned,
That they may eventually resume their lives,
And return to our communities again.

gk
3/21/16

Call to Action (a note on depression)

Psalm 91: 1-2 (NIV)

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

An interpretation of this verse:

Call to Action.
I feel so ashamed of the man I've become,
It's time to start living in the light of the Son!
His fortress!  It shadows all those who come home,
So all who are in Him, that they may be one.

A light in the darkness to those who come near,
Bringing them out from the darkness and depths of despair.

I hope readers don't come away with the feeling that I'm going to do something to harm myself.
I'm okay - really.  If you read this poem again, and the rest of my work (I hope) you'll find peace and redemption at the end of the initial stress lines of the verse.

God is my fortress and without the love of His Spirit embracing me, I may have not come out of those dark places I've experienced.  Sometimes depression can rear its ugly head.

The shame I mention above has to do with second-thought thinking of decisions I made earlier in life that were sometimes unhealthy or selfish, such as:   What if I had been a better example to my children?  What if I would have gotten a Master's degree at age 28 instead of trying in my 50's? What if I would have spent more time with my parents before they died?  What if I would have answered the call to ministry earlier in life?  What if? What if?

These thoughts come to me sometimes late at night and I give them to the Lord right then.  In this poem, line one came as I was dozing off so I wrote it down and went to sleep.  The hope came the next morning during my dawn devotional reading of Psalm 91.  This whole experience was kind of like a dance between me and God.  I reached out, He reached back.

Depression is a major world illness, but does not have to be left silent and secret.  If you suffer from it, seek help and come home to to your Father who will give you peace. Close friends can help too.

gk, Feb. 22, 2016

Just Before the Last Supper

As Good Friday approaches I contemplate the last days of Jesus Christ before he was crucified.  In particular this year, I have compassion for Judas, yes the Betrayer of our Lord.  If he had not given Jesus up to His pursuers, someone else would have and then we would be blaming them.  Was Judas a necessary part of the eternal plan?  I don't know.  How did he feel afterwards?  (I'd love to read your comments on this.)

The Gospel of John 13:1-2 (NRSV)

Now before the festival of the Passover, Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart from this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. The devil had already put it into the heart of Judas son of Simon Iscariot to betray him.  Shortly after this, Jesus washed the feet of the disciples and broke bread with them, knowing in advance of the betrayal.

I wrote this poem, considering the plight of Judas Iscariot, and the guilt he must have felt.

"Cinder blocks tied to my ankles, ropes bind my hands.
I sink below the surface, feet down to the sand.
I stretch to reach the light above.
Gasping, but not enough air.
God help me up and free me, out of this despair."

I'd also like to share some of the words of this song How Can It Be, By Lauren Daigle which is popular right now on Christian radio.

I am guilty

Ashamed of what I've done, what I've become

These hands are dirty

I dare not lift them up to the Holy one

You plead my cause

You right my wrongs

You brake my chains

You overcome

You gave Your life

To give me mine

You say that I am free

How can it be

How can it be

I cannot leave this story on a guilt laden note of sorrow, because it does not end there!  The story continues in John 13:31 to verse 35 and gives us The New Commandment...Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

Jesus shows His disciples, even Judas Iscariot and Simon Peter who betrayed Him that His love was greater than the price of their betrayal.  Shouldn't we do the same?  Can I do that?  God please help me, not for my sake, but to follow you and be a Christ example to someone who does not know Him.

A Brighter Day

This is actually a personal journal entry, but our lives are enriched when we share them with others.  Here it is from the other night...

I wonder if I can write anything tonight.  It’s been kind of a rough day, not of labor or stress, but one of over rest and over indulgence.  After working nearly a year these twelve hour night shifts at the prison, they still mess up my schedule.  I’m anxious right now, but don’t know about what.

I don’t feel very much like a Christian today, but my faith tells me different.  I am feeling my human side in a strong way.  Seems funny and ironic, after all I am human.  Shouldn't I feel anything but?  Has anyone else ever felt this way I wonder.

I realize however, God never promised us life would be easy and without challenges.  Struggles of health, career, relationships or inadequacies, etc. have always been part of the human condition.

So what do we do when we feel this way?  We can wallow in our misery or we can rely on faith and stand on the promises of God.  We take one step forward in obedience and walk toward and into the light of Christ.  We thank Him for all things good and count our blessings. This down time we’re in will pass, and soon again we will feel the embrace of His Spirit that moves us to a brighter day.  We step out in obedience to His word, with faith in His healing.

I hope people realize this experience of mine is applicable to the non-believer as well.  It is about acknowledging the positive aspects of our life which are many, if we think about it.  To the Christian, it’s particularly important because it represents one important aspect of discipleship, namely surrender.  We need to abandon attachments and anxieties of this world for faith in a power greater than ourselves to sustain us and which gives us strength.

References:
Hymn, I Need Thee Every Hour, Annie S. Hawks, 1872 and Matt Maher - Lord, I Need You

Hebrews 4:16 - Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Psalm 143:1 - Hear my prayer, O Lord; give ear to my supplications in your faithfulness,

Gus
---------
September 24th, 2014, 12:35 am

New Sun On The Horizon

New Sun On The Horizon

A couple has formed, their relationship new, where nothing can go wrong for the sweethearts two. A few years pass, and suddenly what was cute is now not so much.  The cuddling at night is now barely a touch.

Harsh words are spoken, sweet gestures gone. One thing leads to another and they wonder what went wrong. Trust is broken, hearts saddened, love dwindled, yet they both hope it can be rekindled.

So they come together with a hope to mend something that was never meant to end. The strife between a husband and wife can pull the joy right out of life.

But when the two strive to be one, a new beginning has begun and they can start to see the rays of the sun.

Gus Koerner August 13, 2014, 11:40 pm

Sorry I missed you.

My apologies for being away.  I've been in the hospital with my daughter, who was admitted to the ER last week due to high ketones in her blood stream; a Type 1 Diabetes condition.  I appreciate all the prayers and well wishes you've sent.

She should be out of ICU today or tomorrow and hope to see her home by the end of the week.

The new transition home is progressing, and will have its own webpage.  When underway, I'll post a link here.

April 11 Update - Ember is home now, doing very well but not looking forward to all her make up work at school.  Juvenile Diabetes sucks, especially for a teenager.

My Spiritual Journey - Introduction, Part 1

They say there comes a time in everyone’s life when they must evaluate themselves to see where they stand regarding their moral character, relationship with a higher power or place in the universe. That has recently happened to me. I felt required to define and describe my spirituality on paper, making it concrete saying, “This is where I stand, and I want everyone to know it – at least those closest to me.”

This story may change over time due to my recollection of facts and motivations, but overall it is quite accurate. I have no idea how my father or grand-father felt about God, and I don’t want that to happen to my kids with me.

I was raised in a Christian home by wonderful parents, with normal human characteristics. They taught me to acknowledge God and believe in Jesus. Over time that belief has developed and become my most important treasure, and I want my family to appreciate my journey and take from it an example to learn from, for good and for bad. Experiences and people who challenge us, sometime teach us more than those we readily accept or agree with. My faith is similar to many others, but different than most. One thing for certain is that I’m not ashamed of it, and I want my family to use it to build their own, find their own unique relationship with God, nurture it, and in turn share it with others.

Back onboard, and looking forward.

It has been a long time since my last post, and I feel really guilty!  - But life happens, no?

Since that time, I have started working at a Florida prison teaching inmates that are soon to be released.  We have a good curriculum, but we go beyond that in our everyday discussions.  The goal is to give them practical skills to help them find success.  Over time I will be sharing with you some of the topics of our discussions and how they relate with our daily walk with God.

Another important note - I am being called to the ministry in a more important and significant way.  I'm not sure what that quite looks like yet, but its exciting.

What sign am I?

About two or three years ago our church did the What sign are you? message in worship service.  See this link for another congregation.  I couldn't do it.  I think I really was sick that day, but even if I wasn't I still wouldn't have done it.  I didn't want to air my dirty laundry in front of my friends.  I'm big on anonymity.

This sign to the left could have been mine.

My Mom told me when I was a kid that my Dad stopped drinking beer when my sister took an open one in the fridge and drank some of it when she was a toddler.  It just dawned on me this morning that I used that as permission to drink later in life.  My Dad drank, but had to quit because of my big sister and not for any other reason could have been my reasoning.  My first time to get drunk was when I was 15 or 16.  I had my one and only DUI related accident when I was 17, but no one knew it besides me and my Mom.  I drank in college and pretty much was obsessed with alcohol from then on.

Skip forward 25 years and I found myself drinking way too much.  I knew how bad that was (in my head) so I went to one of those confidential Employee Assistance Program counselors for substance abuse and he sent me to an AA meeting.  AA was just what I needed, and I picked up my white chip and did about 85 meetings in 90 days.

I am still in recovery.  It has been about a year since I had my last drink.  For the longest time I would stay sober for a year and then drink constant for two months.  The wasted time, damaged relationships and squandered money is a huge part of that period of my life.

Today by the grace of God I have no desire to drink, and my family is still healing.  I'll talk to you another day about guilt and regret, because today I am filled with gratitude over my sobriety, my family and all the blessings in my life.
By Andrew