Everyone I've Ever Known

How many people have you known?

I started keeping a journal again on March 14th of this year (2024).  In it, I don't write about mundane activities, just those that relate to my spiritual, mental, emotional, and social well-being.  Yes, there will be a few facts in there that are significant, but mostly those that promote wellness.

Recently I was speaking with one of my mentors about it  Their suggestion was to not only include significant thoughts, activities, and emotions, but I should actually do something they found meaningful.  They suggested I write down the names of every person I have ever known.  Yes, EVERY person.  That sounded like an impossible task to me, but I thought I'd give it a try.

I tried to just make a list but that became too cumbersome. After a little bit of trial and error, I decided to use a spreadsheet. The first hundred names were easy. Then, started thinking of names on the way home, while I was in bed, and at different weird times around the clock. Out of nowhere, I would suddenly think of an old high school chum or one of my school teachers. Genuine friends, saints, and jerks are all on my list.  Now I carry a pen and notecard with me 24/7, for that long-lost person who's name pops into my brain.

I decided I needed to add some parameters. For example, what does it mean to know someone? How well do I have to know them? I also found that people easily fell into different categories.

For this project, I define someone I know as someone whom I've had a relationship with. Meeting them once or twice does not count. I had to have some significant interaction with them. That relationship could be work, family, church, business dealings, etc. These are the categories I have so far are... Acquaintance, Business, Church, College, Doctor, Family, Family Friend, Friend, High school, Hobby, Hunter Safety, Neighbor, Pet, and Work. Yes, I have included our family pets, as they brought us joy, excitement and frustration.  As I go, I may add or change any of these categories, but that is how I am starting.

As of this writing, I have 366 names from childhood to today.  The columns are Full Name, First Name, Last Name, Category, and Comments.  Doing it in Excel, lets me separate Full Name into Last and First with a formula. I also enter in Category and Comment.  Using Google Sheets allows me to edit it anywhere.  Having all of these columns allows me to sort them in different ways to make sure I am not missing something, or someone, or have duplications.  The Comment section allows me to add any significant details.  This is what it looks like: 

What I have found are two important things.  When I add a name, it frequently prompts me to think of someone else from that time frame to add to the list.  Most importantly, in the comment section, I can select and write significantly about those whom I am grateful for or hold resentment against.  That way I can thank or forgive them.  This list so far has brought up some important moments of reflection for me. I'm finding the suggestion that my mentor gave me is proving to be a valuable one.  

More updates on this project down the road.

gus

Salsa Verde

Salsa Verde

Ingredients:
- Jalapeno pepper 1 large or 2 medium size
- Poblano pepper, 1 medium size
- Tomatillo, 8 to 10 medium size
- Onion, white or red,1 medium size, cut in half
- Lime OR lemon, ½ of a whole fruit
- Garlic, 1 clove or minced garlic, 0.5 tsp
- Cilantro, 1 small bunch, leaves and stems
- Olive Oil, 2 tablespoons
- Salt, 0.25 teaspoon
- Black Pepper, 0.25 teaspoon
- Xanthan Gum, 0.25 Teaspoon (optional)
- Honey (1 tsp..) or 1 packet of Truvia (Stevia) (optional)

Instructions:
Grill, broil or skillet cook the vegetables and lemon (or lime) until charred and soft, which takes about 10-15 minutes. When blackened, cut in halves or quarters and put in a food processor or blender. Blend together these and the remaining ingredients until it gets to the desired consistency.  The Xanthan Gum acts as a thickening agent.  A food processor with give a chunky consistency, a blender will puree. A de-seeded jalapeno will make mild salsa, whole pepper (with seeds) medium heat, 2 peppers will make extra hot.  I made this recipe primarily to put on eggs, but it adds a Mexican flair to any dish or enjoyed with chips or eaten straight from the jar with a straw or spoon :).

Yield: about 24 ounces or 1 1/2 pints.
Serving size: 1 ounce
Nutrition per serving: 1 net carbohydrate (2 total), 1 g fat, 18 calories

Recipe by Gus Koerner with the input of Alton Brown and Bobby Flay, March 2020.

My Scouting Resume'

I think more than any other event or occurrence, my Boy Scout experiences had the greatest influence upon me. Therefore, I see it important to include what significance it had upon my life.

Now at age 54, as I begin to enter into this program again, I wish to share my history in the Boy Scouts of America program. I'll try to include as much detail as possible.

Please bear with me as I write and update this journal entry, as it may take a while...

The Sub-Cub Era

Cub Scouting

Scouting

My Eagle Scout Project
I refurbished and repainted the house which held our local Scout Round Table meetings with the help of a dozen volunteers. I couldn't have done this without the support of my parents.

David, Chuck and I
David Sturdivant and Chuck Jaecks were in my Troop 326 and were my best friends.  David passed away about 2015.

My Philmont Experiences

As a Cub Scout

Trek 1

Trek 2

My Wilderness Survival Merit Badge Experience

My Trip to the Charles L. Sommers Wilderness Canoe Base

My World Jamboree Experience in Oslo, Norway
Primary Source: Wikipedia

After being selected for the World Jamboree, I became a member of Troop 32, representing Texas. I was one of about 30 scouts.

The 14th World Scout Jamboree was held July 29 to August 7, 1975, and was hosted by Norway at Lillehammer, on the shore of Lake Mjøsa.

King Olav V and Harald V of Norway, who then was crown prince, opened "Nordjamb '75", as it became popularly known, in the presence of 17,259 Scouts from 94 countries. The slogan was Five Fingers, One Hand, an example of international cooperation on the part of the five Nordic countries responsible for its organization.

This slogan stood symbolically for:

Five fingers separately are small and weak, but together form an efficient and strong unit

• Scouts from all five continents meet at the World Jamboree
• The five Nordic countries jointly host a world event
• The slogan for the Jamboree was represented in a number of ways, including one event that brought all of the Jamboree participants together into the central arena, where they formed a giant hand that was photographed from aircraft flying overhead.

The British contingent, led by Robert Baden-Powell, 3rd Baron Baden-Powell, included Scouts from Branches in Bermuda, Hong Kong and Rhodesia.

The program of this Jamboree included excursions in the mountains by international patrols, activity areas, Nordic trail, choir, visit to Maihaugen cultural museum, and the Jamboree Country Fair. The relationships that developed were in large measure due to the warm hospitality given to almost every visiting Scout in the homes of the hosts. This Jamboree included in the program several activities involving modern technology, as well as traditional pursuits such as hiking, orienteering and camping.


The Jamboree was also visited by Carl XVI Gustav of Sweden and Crown Prince Mohammed VI of Morocco.

Order of the Arrow

My Tapout

My Ordeal - I remember this event well, but the only parts I can recall is being very sleep deprived and sleeping on the ground under my pancho in the rain.  I highly recall the feeling of brotherhood and belonging I felt. After my Ordeal was complete, I was a member of the lodge Nishkin Halupa A Pe Lachi, Lodge # 489.  The lodge was since reorganized, and is now Netopalis Sipo Schipinachk, Lodge # 209, Warriors of the Rivers with Outstretched Arm.

I later became a Brotherhood Member. This was about 1973.

My Parent's Service
My Mom and Dad, Karl L. and Irene J. Koerner were long time leaders in the Scouting program. My Dad receive his Silver Beaver and my Mom her Silver Fawn.

Experiences With Different Troop Sponsors

My Soul Is Well

As the reader, I hope you remember I write this blog as my journal; not for you per se, but for me and my family and I give you a glimpse of what is important to me through my stories. This song is one of the most important pieces of poetry (hymns) in my life, not just because of the words, but the story behind it all.  What do we have to fear that someone else has not experienced? Mr. Spafford is one of the top 5 people I want to meet if I go to heaven because of this faith building song.

Here is the story behind this song...

Horatio G. Spafford was a successful lawyer and businessman in Chicago with a lovely family — a wife, Anna, and five children. However, they were not strangers to tears and tragedy. Their young son died with pneumonia in 1871, and in that same year, much of their business was lost in the great Chicago fire. Yet, God in His mercy and kindness allowed the business to flourish once more.


On Nov. 21, 1873, the French ocean liner, Ville du Havre was crossing the Atlantic from the U.S. to Europe with 313 passengers on board. Among the passengers were Mrs. Spafford and their four daughters. Although Mr. Spafford had planned to go with his family, he found it necessary to stay in Chicago to help solve an unexpected business problem. He told his wife he would join her and their children in Europe a few days later. His plan was to take another ship.

About four days into the crossing of the Atlantic, the Ville du Harve collided with a powerful, iron-hulled Scottish ship, the Loch Earn. Suddenly, all of those on board were in grave danger. Anna hurriedly brought her four children to the deck. She knelt there with Annie, Margaret Lee, Bessie and Tanetta and prayed that God would spare them if that could be His will, or to make them willing to endure whatever awaited them. Within approximately 12 minutes, the Ville du Harve slipped beneath the dark waters of the Atlantic, carrying with it 226 of the passengers including the four Spafford children.

A sailor, rowing a small boat over the spot where the ship went down, spotted a woman floating on a piece of the wreckage. It was Anna, still alive. He pulled her into the boat and they were picked up by another large vessel which, nine days later, landed them in Cardiff, Wales. From there she wired her husband a message which began, “Saved alone, what shall I do?” Mr. Spafford later framed the telegram and placed it in his office.

Another of the ship’s survivors, Pastor Weiss, later recalled Anna saying, “God gave me four daughters. Now they have been taken from me. Someday I will understand why.”

Mr. Spafford booked passage on the next available ship and left to join his grieving wife. With the ship about four days out, the captain called Spafford to his cabin and told him they were over the place where his children went down.


According to Bertha Spafford Vester, a daughter born after the tragedy, Spafford wrote “It Is Well With My Soul” while on this journey.

Anna gave birth to three more children, one of which died at age four with dreaded pneumonia. In August 1881, the Spaffords moved to Jerusalem. Mr. Spafford died and is buried in that city.

Here are the words written by Mr. Spafford on his journey to meet his grieving wife.

It Is Well With My Soul
by Horatio G. Spafford, 1873.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

Refrain:
It is well with my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

Refrain

My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!—
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

Refrain

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

Refrain

But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

Refrain

And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Refrain

Sources:
The Saint Augustine Record
UMC History of Hymns

The Power of Words. On Writing: Poems, Journals and Individual Expression

At the prison where I work, I was on Outside Post duty the other day and heard this story on NPR's On Being show by Krista Tippet.  I love this show.  Through this story I intellectually, emotionally and spiritually confirmed the writing of this blog and my personal, hand written journals.  It also convicted me of writing online, but not publishing all my stories publicly.  If you wish to read these other stories, more personal, with more detail, send me a note and I'll send you a link or personally email you my entries. Email to guskoerner@gmail.com

Here is the story from OnBeing.org that inspired me.  Thank you Krista.

By Naomi Shihab Nye

Your Life Is a Poem (Audio Interview) A must hear of 51 minutes.  Give it at least 15 minutes and you'll be hooked too.

Growing up, the poet Naomi Shihab Nye lived in Ferguson, Missouri and on the road between Ramallah and Jerusalem. Her father was a refugee Palestinian journalist, and through her poetry, she carries forward his hopeful passion, his insistence, that language must be a way out of cycles of animosity...

Thank you Naomi.

Easter Review

I cannot let this Easter day pass by without writing what it meant to me.  After all, it is the day our Lord was resurrected, arose from the dead after three days in the tomb.  He is risen!

This had been one of my most memorable Easter seasons in my life, starting with Ash Wednesday.  On Ash Wednesday, we attended a service at church and departed with a charcoal cross on our foreheads, having made a Lenten sacrifice i.e, "giving up something" for Lent.  I gave up nothing.  Instead I took on a daily devotion to the process and leading up to the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.

This has been a 40 days of inner reflection and thoughts of the future and the past.  I've asked questions such as why has God called me to teach in prison?  How can I have a positive impact on my students, in not only attaining their G.E.D., but on the rest of their lives? Is this a calling or just a job?  Are my Mom and Dad proud of me and are they watching over me?  Or are they just dead?

How am I supposed to serve in the ministry?  Should I just keep serving as a Lay person or become ordained as a Methodist minister?  How can I have a positive impact on my children when they live so far away?

Does every Dad and person contemplate these deep questions or similar?  I don't know.

As Easter comes and goes, soon it will be summer and the clock keeps ticking, and the calendar turns over day by day I will continue to reflect.
How do I make the Easter season of 2015 come alive for me? Where am I supposed to go with it, and what can I do to share the love of Jesus Christ to my neighbor next door and the prison inmate closed in behind razor wire?

Side bar - there were two inmates stabbed at my workplace today according to the news.  I don't know the story behind it, but it has affected my Easter Sunday in a way that few can understand.

Keep following along with me and experience my journey with me.  I'd like that.

Photo Credit: My wife Sandy from the Max Brewer bridge in Titusville, FL.  Used with permission.

Why Everyone Should Blog (Journal), and How To Do It. #201

For post #201, I needed to write this, to promote blogging and journaling...

I've been blogging from 2008 under the premise of communicating with my distant children, recording events for posterity, historical value, blah, blah, blah.  That is all true, however, I have to admit though, when I get 800 readers in one day and 20 new Twitter followers it bolsters my ego.  Hey, I'm human.  What else can I say!

In reality though, its way more important than that.

I recently read my sister's blog who lives in a far away state from me, and she was relating the story about the birth of my next older brother.  To hear about the day he came home from the hospital and how she loved on him, pampered him and watched over him like a mother duck means the world to me to read about.  Someday I'll post a link to that story.

I've heard all my life about the therapeutic value of journaling, to record our emotions and events, so we can read back, prevent future mistakes and recall blessings and learning events from the past.  Taken from Alan Henry of LifeHacker, March 2014, a popular blogger who wrote a good story about why to journal.  He wrote...

Anne Frank's diary

Some of the most influential people in history kept detailed journals of their lives.  Those journals served two purposes: a permanent record for posterity, and cathartic (emotional) release for the people writing them. Even if you don't think you need either, keeping a journal has great benefits you can enjoy immediately...  the rest of the story...

Let me say a bit about hard copy journaling verses blogging...

Journal
- Completely private.
- Already in print, your hand writing
- Nobody sees it until you die
- 1 copy

Blog
- Private, Semi-private or Public
- Electronically vulnerable, but very secure and completely printable
- Available to others when you want it to be
- Available to as many people as you want, wherever they are in the world.

This is how I do it...

1) Sometimes I blog here directly, and here's how...Google (verb) "how to blog".  220,000 results will come back.  WordPress and BlogSpot are the major hosts.  If you contact me I will (of course) help you get started.  I use BlogSpot or Blogger (the same), because that is the way I started and it's Google friendly.

2) Sometimes, especially at the prison where I work and I cannot have electronics, I keep a little 4 x 6 inch notepad to jot down an idea or thought to later develop.

3) I use my smart phone to record notes and later transpose to paper or this blog.  Lately I am using voice-to-text apps to transpose my thoughts to paper automatically.

I hope you get started writing your own journal, online or otherwise.

A personal note to my children... Melissa, what was it like to adopt a little boy?  Amber sweetie, how are you doing?  Chris, I want to hear all about your experiences in business and with your little ones.  Cam, what is is like to serve in the Marine Corps in the Persian Gulf?  Savannah, how are things going and are you enjoying college?  Ember, tell me about your high school experiences.  I am so anxious to hear!

Finally, I hope you, the reader knows your family cares the same about you.  Let them know what you're up to and that you love them.  You'll never regret that.

What is your North Star?

This story is about acknowledging the positive aspects of our lives, and finding a reliable "compass" or way to guide us.  For those who believe in God, it is about surrender and discipleship.  For non-believers, it is about finding positive role models and life attributes to follow and look toward.

Sometimes when life becomes challenging for us, we need to look beyond our current situations and try to envision the “big picture”  or overall life perspective of the situation, detach ourselves from the anxieties of now and look to a power greater than us to give us strength and direction.

My journal entry from September 29, 2014, 9:00 PM at the prison where I work.

I’m on Outside Perimeter Post tonight at the prison, driving in circles around the outside fence making sure everything is secure.  It’s a rainy night, and it has been drizzling all day long, kind of melancholy, and in a moment of contemplation I wrote this:

What is your North Star?

Lately I've been thinking a lot at night about the stars in the sky.  Spending most of my time in the city nowadays, it’s been a long time since I've seen a clear starry night.  I can’t even remember the last time I went outside and searched for Polaris, the North Star.

For centuries explorers and navigators on both land and sea have used the stars to guide them.  The 16th century explorer Ferdinand Magellan, the first person to circumnavigate the globe, traveled over 37,000 miles.  He primarily used celestial bodies, such as Polaris and seasonal winds to find his way and lead other countless travelers to do the same.  This accomplishment established trade routes that helped civilization develop and grow that we still use today.

In the absence of these guiding lights in the sky, how would he have done this?  He possibly could have done it without these navigational aids, but chances are he would have spent countless weeks or months wandering about not knowing where he was or which direction he was going.

We don’t navigate by stars anymore, at least us city dwellers.  We have roads, maps, and speaking GPS navigators on our phones and at our fingertips, taking us to our destination literally turn by turn.  But metaphorically, what are we using as our Polaris to lead us through life?  Some of us are driven in a certain direction by career, family, money, ambition, education or similar; some of us by religion or politics.  Ultimately all of these drivers are just temporary guides that change.  They are proven to be inconsistent, flawed, of less significant value and can potentially misdirect us.

The North Star doesn't move.  It’s in the north sky and is, and always will be a reliable guide.  I think of God this way.  When my life gets misdirected and my priorities get misaligned it’s because I've taken my eyes off God, the North Star of the Universe and replaced it with something less reliable (usually worry).

Here is a Bible verse in John, chapter 14 that hit me like a rock!  1. Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me (Jesus)… 5. Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?” 6. Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me. 

So if your life is lacking direction or if your compass has become misaligned, consider switching to the Great Navigator, God to provide direction and see how that works for you.  May you be blessed in your journey. - gus

PS. If you like this, comment below and share it with a friend.  Meet me on Twitter @guskoerner

Navigate The Storm

Click to enlarge.

Oh Lord, the waters are so great and my boat is so small. -1

Sometimes life gets turbulent, uncontrollable, yet there's one who's there all the time; invisible, but present none the less.

He holds out his hand to rescue us, to keep us from drowning in our own ocean of anxiety and despair.

Our gasps of desperation will call Him forth.  But why do we wait so long?  Let us call Him now, before the gales come, to help us navigate the storm until the waters calm.

Gus Koerner
July 22, 2014
-------------------
-1 This line is based upon the quote by an unknown author, Breton Fisherman's Prayer.  Accompanying image, The Storm on the Sea of Galilee, Rembrandt, year 1633. Photo credit Wikipedia.  Scripture Reference Luke 8:22-25.

Music That Moves Me

Sometimes we hear words so profound we remember them for a lifetime, and occasionally we can recall the exact time, circumstance and location of when we heard a particular quote.  Indeed, sometimes those words can have a profound affect upon our life.  Like Kennedy's challenge to go to the moon and beyond when he said, "...We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard..." (9/12/62).  This speech didn't move me so much, as it moved our nation to step-up together to build our space program.  That is the most inspiring result of that quote to me.  It's been a long time since our nation has been moved in a positive, peaceful direction in that way.

About seven years ago at 4-H Camp I asked a ten year old little country boy about a particular song, I think we were talking about rap music, Britney Spears or some pop music topic, and he said, "The music moves me, but it moves me ugly."  I laughed and laughed.  I'll remember that for a lifetime, especially the way he said it, in a shy, kicking the dirt reaction.

Music has always been a huge part of my life, and I've never been bound by a particular genre.  Like Kennedy's or Martin Luther King Jr.'s speeches or so many other great people, art and literature in any form can touch our soul and raise us to greater heights or soothe our broken hearts.  Music is art and literature in a combined form, and it can give us hope and motivate us to go on when we may otherwise not be able to.  Music can be something we can relate to, knowing that the artist is speaking of an experience we're living out or have been through.

Below is my current, but not complete list of songs that move me or have played a significant part of my life.  Even though the first iteration of this list is May 2014, I'll be updating it over time.  After the top five, the rest of the listed alphabetically by song name.  I'd love to hear some of your comments about my particular choices!

1) Night Riders Lament, Jerry Jeff Walker
2) Wild Montana Sky, John Denver, Emmylou Harris
3) Voice of Truth, Casting Crowns
4) Testify To Love, Avalon
5) It Is Well With My Soul, Horatio G. Spafford
6) Mary's Boy Child, Boney M

Battle Hymn of the Republic, esp. verse 5, Mormon Tabernacle Choir and others
Blackland Farmer, Frankie Miller sung by Elizabeth Cook
Broken Beautiful, Ellie Holcomb
Cajun Moon, Ricky Scaggs
Cherokee Maiden, Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys
Christ Has Risen, Matt Maher
Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue, Toby Keith
Doxology/Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow, Ken Thomas 1674
Guacamole, Texas Tornados
Here I Am, Downhere
Hey Baby (Que Paso?), Texas Tornados
High Hopes, Frank Sinatra, 1959
I Dreamed A Dream, Anne Hathaway ver., Les Misérables 2012
If I Could Only Win Your Love, Emmylou Harris
I'll Do It All Over Again, Crystal Gayle, 2008
In My Daughter's Eyes, Martina McBride, 2003
In The Garden, C. Austin Miles  / Alan Jackson
It's a Great Day To Be Alive, Travis Tritt
King of the Road, Roger Miller
K-K-K Katey, Billy Murray
Knee Deep, Zac Brown Band
Lead Me, Sanctus Real
Little People, Les Miserables Original Cast
London Homesick Blues, Gary P. Nunn w/Jerry Jeff Walker
Meet Me In Montana, Marie Osmond and Dan Seals, 1985.
Morning Has Broken, Cat Stevens
My Favorite Things, Sound of Music, Original Soundtrack
Old Hippie, The Bellamy Brothers
On My Honor (Boy Scout hymn) by Harry Bartelt
Overcome, Jeremy Camp
San Antonio Rose, Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys
Some People Change, Montgomery Gentry
Stuck Like Glue, Sugarland
Telephone, Lady Gaga (PG-13 video)
That's Right You're Not From Texas, Lyle Lovett
The Auctioneer, Leroy Van Dyke
The Battle of New Orleans, Johnny Horton
The Likes of You Again, Flogging Molly
When I Get Where I'm Going, Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton
Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning, Alan Jackson
You Are My Sunshine, Jimmie Davis and Charles Mitchell, 1939
You Never Even Called Me By My Name, David Allen Coe

47 songs above, last edited October 18, 2014.

Journal Entry, May 19, 2014, Part 2 of 2, Obsession With Life in the Desert

I'm obsessed with learning more about the Spanish explorers who lived, explored, traveled and mapped the southwestern United States, in the Utah, Colorado, New Mexico region; specifically the southern Utah desert.  (Why do Franciscan monks always come up for me??)  The Escalente' Expedition were dedicated Christians and Catholic Franciscan monks, (Wiki photo, left) who tried to convert native Americans, but had the outdoor and mapping skills comparable to Lewis and Clark, but came before him in the 1770's.  The flintlock gun era.  I must research their journals!!  Someday I shall return to my most memorable place on Earth, which I call Solace Overhang.  It is located on the banks of the Escalente River at N 37.77445, W 111.42385.  Dead or alive, I shall return to that spot where I spent seven days alone in September of 1979, with nothing but a wool blanket, a coffee can, a pound of mixed wheat and corn flour and a half-dozen honey packs.  It was by far, the most influential time in my life where the only thing I could do was survive and reflect upon my life.  The only friend I had to speak to was my own conscious and God.  Occasionally I would explore and see a rabbit or a rattlesnake, but most of my time was appreciating the rocks, stars and cool stream a hundred yards away.  I would reflect upon my life thus far, and what the future may bring.  I was a naive nineteen year old with my life in front of me.  It was at that point, where I crossed from being a boy to a man, and the first time in my life seriously acknowledged God's grace in my life.  I also realized that the universe was much larger than I had imagined, and that spiritual life was more than a religious upbringing, or a church and didn't necessarily have to do with any particular religion or dogma.

I'll never ever forget laying on the ground under my overhang, covered by my woolen blanket next to my personal fire.  Even though I could feel warmth from the flames, I was still very very cold.  I would just lay there and wait for sunrise.  My body was facing North, and I had a clear view of the North Star, and the Big Dipper just beside.  Through the embers of the firelight, I would lay there and watch the fixed Polaris, with Ursa Major pivoting around it, completing a near full circle.  As the Big Dipper came close to the horizon, I knew that dawn was eminent, and I would soon feel the warm sun rays.  At dawn, I'd walk down to the Escalente River and fill my coffee can.  On the way back up the hill, I would collect some sprigs of Brigham Tea, Ephedra viridis, and then prepare a breakfast of ashcakes and warm tea to start my day.  For the first four days I had a little honey to put on my cakes.  At 37-111 (lat/lon) were my first experiences of heaven.

I thank God for that wonderful experience, parents who encouraged me and help make this happen, and for the people who ran the program, specifically Larry Dean Olson, author of Outdoor Survival Skills, foreward by Robert Redford, ISBN 13: 978-1556523236, the founder of BYU's Youth Leadership 480 program, and my class D-12.  I would also like to thank my program director Doug Nelson and my local Fort Worth buddy Bobbie Baird.  I also have to thank my father,Karl L. Koerner who was a course graduate in 1976.  This program is still ongoing, but under the direction of Boulder Outdoor Survival School, or B.O.S.S.