Limericks

I've been obsessed with limericks lately, starting with The Pelican, which I think I found on NPR, and it became the impetus of my sudden rhyming enthusiasm.  This jewel was written by Dixon Lanier Merritt, in 1910, and it moves me so in such a funny way, it causes me to think in rhyme, all the time!  After The Pelican are my own which I came up with in the last two days inspired by events in my life. I think I'm finished now.

First this...

The Pelican
A wonderful bird is the pelican,
His bill will hold more than his belican.
He can take in his beak
Food enough for a week.
But I’m damned if I see how the helican.

Now here are mine...

The Fid (a tool for rope work and knot tying)
My Fid has been missing for weeks,
I found it tonight with much glee.
It was right where I laid it.
I'm glad cuz I made it.
I use it for knots that I keep.

My husband he lost his best Fid,
Then blamed everyone and the kids.
His mind he's a losin',
For simply not choosin',
To remember the things that he did!

Pillow Thief
I now have a wife who's a thief!
She never causes much grief.
My pillow she'll take, Before I awake.
She denies it in great disbelief!

Covered Dish
Oh the joy of community eatery!
Enjoying each other so leisurely.
The dishes diverse,
We sit and converse.
Getting to know one another so easily.

Slumber
My sweet wife is sound asleep.
She lies in a slumber so deep.
But soon she'll awake, and coffee partake.
She's a blessing to all whom she meets.

Misbehaving Students
In prison they come to my school.
They can stay if they don’t act the fool.
If bridges their burnin’ they don’t get no learnin’
That is the primary ground rule.

Mean Ramona
There once was a man from Daytona,
That married a bike chick Ramona.
He rode on the back, but she cut him no slack,
And dumped him on this side of Pamona.

Old Mr. Forte’
I wonder how old Mr. Forte’ has been?
Since ‘76 he’s been in the pen.
The sweetest man you've met in your life
39 years now for killing his wife.

Squirrel Chaser
Harley chases with fleas on his knees.
All of the squirrels plum up the trees.
All he wants to is play, but he never will say,
The squirrel language version of 'please'.

Unleavened Passover Bread

2 cups White Flour, unbleached all purpose
2 Tbs Olive Oil
1 tsp salt
3/4 cup Water
Preheat oven to 450 degrees F. Mix well all ingredients in a medium size bowl by hand or with an electric mixer until a stiff dough forms. Remove the dough to a lightly floured countertop, kneading until a smooth consistentcy.   Bake for 8 minutes, flip the bread over on the pan, bake for about 8 more minutes.

Now Teaching Family Classes in Firearms Safety

Photo Credit: Michigan State University 4-H Shooting Sports

I am now teaching Family Firearms Safety for donations only.  A typical class of this quality and quantity of information by a Certified Instructor is about $75 per person.

If you have firearms in your home, and don't know much about them, this class is for you! If you cannot afford a class?  No worries.  I can assist you with no charge or agreeable terms.

If you're interested, get a hold of me.  My email address is guskoerner@gmail.com.  I also teach by distance learning (Skype). Typically I will come to your home, or you to mine and talk about family firearms safety.  I have youth appropriate DVD's as well. This class is centered on age appropriate, hands-on materials for the children of your home AND satisfies the Florida requirement for the Concealed Weapons Permit.

This is how it works.  When firearms are in the classroom, they are always locked, or otherwise inoperable, and there is NEVER any ammunition present; the cardinal rule of firearms instruction.  I am successfully security screened by the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, Florida Department of Corrections and Brevard Public Schools and can show credentials upon introduction.  I am a former 4-H Youth Development Agent and Instructor for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation (Game) Commission.

This course description below is typical, but I also teach rifle, black powder firearms and non-certified archery and shotgun.  Below is a description of one of the courses I teach.

NRA First Steps Pistol Course Description, 3 hours (1.5 hrs class + 1.5 hrs range)

FIRST stands for “Firearm Instruction, Responsibility, and Safety Training”, a program the NRA developed to meet the need for a firearms orientation program for new gun purchasers. This FIRST Steps program is a basic courses abbreviated to the most fundamental shooting skills, and the specifics of a particular model of pistol.

This course, because of its narrow focus, can be completed as quickly as three hours. Students will get quick practical lessons on the safe use, cleaning, and storage of their pistol. The practical exercise covers a single pistol shooting position.

Course Goal
“To provide beginning shooters with an introduction to the knowledge, skills, and attitude necessary to own and use a specific pistol model safely.”

NRA FIRST Steps Pistol Orientation Lesson Plans
1.Introduction to Pistol Safety, Parts, and Operation
2.Introduction to Ammunition and the Fundamentals of Pistol Shooting
3.Introduction to Pistol Shooting from the Benchrest Position
4.Introduction to Pistol Cleaning, Storage, and Training Opportunities

Prerequisites
The are no prerequisites for taking this course, and the material is accessible to appropriately supervised mature children.

Keeping Tract of our Family Homes

The absolute primary reason for this blog is so that my children and theirs can know something about me.  Not that I am or was the best person to know, but looking back to my own parents and grandparents, I would love to know every detail of their life.  This is important to me not just from an historical / genealogical perspective, but I would like to know their emotions, thoughts, struggles and accomplishments to compare with my own.

Haven't any of you wanted to go back to see your birth home, or that favorite neighborhood you lived in growing up?  If so, can you remember right where it is?  I cannot, therefore I have gone back and recorded the exact location of each.  This isn't a complete list, and it will grow as time goes on.  How did I do it?  In some cases I used a Garmin GPS handheld trail receiver, in other cases I used my smart phone, and the longer distance places away I used Google Earth.

Places I've Lived
Coordinates listed are Decimal Degrees, Basemap WGS84 when possible.

Date: Coordinates by Longitude and Latitude and the general location, i.e., city, state, zip, country

1959: Bountiful, UT, My birth house. N 40.873518, W 111.881625, 29 West 1600 South, Bountiful, UT
1960: Minnesota
1963: Fort Worth, TX
1977: N 32.720033 W 097.462495, 76116, 8404 Bangor Drive, Fort Worth, TX
1979: N 55.569115 E 009.742989, Fredercia, DK **
1980: N 55.640800 E 012.583717, Amager, DK **
1981: N 41.765329 W 111.804760, Little White House, 1885 N. 1200 E., N. Logan, UT 84341
1983: N 41.879454 W 111.989905, Dairy, Newton, UT
1987: N 41.767727 W 111.802645, 84341, Salisburys, 2020 N. 1250 E., N. Logan, UT 84341
1989: N 41.731343 W 111.843606, 84321, Center Street, Logan, UT
1990: N 41.711697 W 111.853128, 84321, Park Avenue, Logan, UT
1998: N 28.647644 W 080.866294, 4325 Caper Court, Titusville, FL 32796
2002: N 28.575609 W 080.806277, 32780, LaCita, Titusville, FL
2004: N 28.555872 W 080.805495, 4700 Sisson Road,Titusville, FL 32780
2005: N 28.641823 W 080.853132, 1665 Saratoga Drive, Titusville, FL 32796
2014: N 28.647644 W 080.866294, 4325 Caper Court, Titusville, FL 32796

* Recorded 2014, Updated Dec. 2017.
** General Area

The Story of the Wayward Son Has Daily Implications

It seems almost daily I am impressed with the message of this story.  I've written about it before, but this time is different. See this story from 2012.

Recently I offended someone I dearly love.  They snapped back in response, and then I was offended by what they said to me.  This is life, and humanness at its finest!

My paraphrased version the story in Luke 15 is about a young man who wasted his inheritance on extravagant living, then came home with nothing.  He was judged harshly by his brother, but forgiven and loved by his Dad.  It raises the question to me of who was more at fault, the wasteful or the judgmental brother.  Implicitly the story points us to the example we need to follow is that of the father.  All of us will at some time do foolish things, and we will also judge those who do the same.   Sometimes the only consequence comes to the ‘lawbreaker’, but those who cannot mentally or emotionally place themselves in the other’s position, risk self-righteousness which is unjustified in any case from an eternal perspective. Who am I to cast the first stone?  The one we should be trying to emulate is the father in this story; loving and forgiving those who err in spite of their actions.  That is what the message Christ bids us to follow. (see image credit below)

In the dictionary, the word prodigal is characterized by profuse spending, so much so that it could be described as wasteful.  In this story all three characters go to prodigal extremes in their behaviors.  Which person best describes your actions and behavior lately?

Read this story again from the point of view of a person you have offended or been offended by…

The Parable of the Prodigal and His Brother, from Luke 15:11-32 (NRSV)

11. Then Jesus said, “There was a man who had two sons. 12. The younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of the property that will belong to me.’ So he divided his property between them. 13. A few days later the younger son gathered all he had and traveled to a distant country, and there he squandered his property in dissolute living. 14. When he had spent everything, a severe famine took place throughout that country, and he began to be in need. 15. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed the pigs. 16. He would gladly have filled himself with the pods that the pigs were eating; and no one gave him anything. 17. But when he came to himself he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired hands have bread enough and to spare, but here I am dying of hunger! 18. I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; 19. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me like one of your hired hands.”’ 20. So he set off and went to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him. 21. Then the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22. But the father said to his slaves, ‘Quickly, bring out a robe—the best one—and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23. And get the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; 24. for this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!’ And they began to celebrate.

25. “Now his elder son was in the field; and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. 26. He called one of the slaves and asked what was going on. 27. He replied, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fatted calf, because he has got him back safe and sound.’ 28. Then he became angry and refused to go in. His father came out and began to plead with him. 29. But he answered his father, ‘Listen! For all these years I have been working like a slave for you, and I have never disobeyed your command; yet you have never given me even a young goat so that I might celebrate with my friends. 30. But when this son of yours came back, who has devoured your property with prostitutes; you killed the fatted calf for him!’ 31. Then the father said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32. But we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and has come to life; he was lost and has been found.’”

Image credit - this image is by the Japanese artist Soichi Watanabe, titled “The Prodigal Son Returns which was on display at the Yale Institute of Sacred Music, 2009.  More on this artist.
The photo originally on this post was removed due to copyright infringement.  Mr. Watanabe will be paid a fee prior to me posting it again.  In the meantime, please see the link above.

My Call To Serve

A common thread that has run through my life is the profound love of God and ability to work with people, and organizations that serve our community.

I was raised by loving Christian parents in the suburbs of Fort Worth, Texas.

When I was a young man I had no idea what a calling was, not to mention what mine was to be. At the age of 16, I gave my life to Christ, and approached my pastor with the desire to go into the ministry. I felt love and unity from fellow Christians and the blessings of service.

Because of family religious pressure, my passion to become a minister soon became discouragement.

Years later that I realized that no matter what my situation or profession was, I could still be a minister of Christ and family pressures would not impede me.

I can now see I was being called, even from an early age to serve God. It wasn't until I started working with at-risk children, challenged youth and prison inmates that I felt strongly about using my profession to serve God and share His love with others.

I realize my Heavenly Father has woven a tapestry with my life, giving me opportunities to use these gifts for His kingdom, among my brothers and sisters.