A Song That Knocked My Socks Off, Way Back When

As some of my readers know, I teach at a state prison. I was talking to one of my best Inmate Teaching Assistants today who is an excellent and published writer. He's been incarcerated for 30 plus years with a life sentence to go, so he's not real tech savvy. Our inmates have zero access to email or internet.

Today he asked me what a blog is, and why people write them. To make a long story short, I told him people write blogs with different themes, thoughts, purposes and passions; but I write mine so someday my children and their children (and beyond) will know what their Papa Gus was like. I have my own Papa Gus, whom I know nothing about. He passed away shortly before I was born.

This song popped up for me this week from out of nowhere, and I just had to mention it. The first time I heard it, it knocked my socks off - significant for me, therefore I write about it. My son Chris introduced this to me back in (like) 2003 and it rocked my spiritual world. It still does with the memory of me being far from God back then, and this brought me to my knees in surrender. If you know it, you'll agree.  If its new to you, I think you'll like it.  The lyrics are still profound to me, so I included them below, and of course linked associated sources.  The genre is Christian Ska.

Here it is...

World Without End (YouTube) A Must See!
by Five Iron Frenzy
Album (wiki-link): The End Is Near, 2003.

For all the deepest thought compiled, philosophy
to laws of physics,
no one's ever heard or seen,
a more beautiful thing,
than this love that saved us.

[Chorus:]
In the soundless awe and wonder,
words fall short to hope again.
How beautiful,
how vast your love is,
new forever,
world without an end.

The very spark that burns the stars,
drew near to me today,
the God of everything that is,
whispered in my ear that His love is boundless.

This last verse of the song reminds me of what I experienced in, Return To Escalante, Moments of Solitude. "The very spark that burns the stars, drew near to me today, the God of everything that is, whispered in my ear that His love is boundless." Boundless as the stars in the heavens.

If you like this, I'm glad.  Please share it with your friends and join me on Twitter @guskoerner

Return to Escalante, Moments of Solitude

I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude. Henry David Thoreau

It has been almost thirty-seven years since I sat alone on the banks of the Escalante River in southern Utah. I was on my 31 day survival course called BYU Youth Leadership 480, still on-going yet privately run by Boulder Outdoor Survival School (BOSS). I need to describe the solo portion of our trip that we had the last week of the course.

The last seven days of the class I was completely alone, not seeing another person the entire time. I had no books to read or journal to write in. I had in my possession a bow and drill tool I made for starting fires, a woolen blanket, pocket knife, a coffee can I found in the desert for carrying water and cooking, a pound of wheat (seed), and a few honey packs I traded for with my pals earlier on the trip. My days consisted of keeping my #10 coffee can scrubbed clean by the sand in the river and filled with water by my small fire which never went out. For food I'd grind the wheat to make ash cakes and drink tea made from the native Brigham tea plants. What could have been boredom to some people, the seemingly endless hours of solitude, caused me to become acutely aware of my soul and the southern Utah sky.

Images: (above) I call my solo location Solace Overlook, which is located at N 37.774437 W 111.423868 (DD). On the state map, the red star roughly shows about where I was located on a larger scale.(right)

You can see the rocky overhang I slept under and sought shade with. At night cliff served as a heat reflector for my fire and faced in the perfect direction so I could watch Polaris throughout the night.

Returning to moments of contemplation of ourselves in this universe can center our inner beings and bring peace. It can ground us in the fact that our role in the world is much larger and more significant than we sometimes realize. Solitude can provide us with that opportunity, if we let it.

I’m reminded of a movie I saw that made a deep impression on me. My Dinner With André, 1981, is a conversation between Andre Gregory and Wally Shawn, both of whom were active in New York theater. One of the primary themes that got my attention was that sometimes we get lulled into daily routines and take for granted mundane things that bring us comfort and joy. This quote from Andre’ to Wally:

What does it do to us living in an environment where something as massive as the seasons or winter or cold, don't in any way affect us? I mean, we’re animals after all. What does that mean? I think it means that instead of living under the sun and the moon and the sky and the stars, we're living in a fantasy world of our own making… [And] comfort can lull us into a dangerous tranquility.

Solitude can cause one to look inward to realize not only their smallness, but the potential of their greatness and the greatness of our God in the universe. I like the way philosopher and theologian Paul Tillich addresses this by saying, Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone.

He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth. He breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the shields with fire. He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth… Psalm 46:9 (NIV)

For more insight on this, see the story Stillness and Silent Prayer by Debbi Geller, from Krista Tippett's OnBeing.org,  OnBeing is one of my favorite websites ever, and I'm glad I found Debbi's work. Thank you Krista and Debbi.

I hope you get to enjoy your own version of stillness and solitude. Feel free to leave a comment and tell me of your experiences in solitude or follow me on Twitter @guskoerner.

- gus

Post Script. What I didn't mention in this story but wanted to...1. How I got my fire started. 2. The rattlesnake that kept me from getting my tea leaves. 3. The fellow student that went home early because he cheated. 4. How beautiful the Big Dipper is when it rotates around the North Star. 5. The 13 mile run-in from the Escalante River to Boulder, UT. Perhaps another time.

If I Were a Goat

I like to leave Sandy a note in the morning.  This is what I wrote today, some of my more thoughtful, contemplative work.

Dear Sandy,  If I were a boat, I'd float you a note.
Regarding this acquaintance of mine,
named Gus the goat, who has a crush on you.
He's baaa-shful :)

I love you Sweetheart.  Have a good Monday.

Thank you for Tomorrow

It's been a while since I posted last, and I try to remind myself of the primary purpose of this blog. This is my journal that I share with others.  Although sometimes my ego gets the best of me and revels in the fact that a particular article may get a few hundred "reads", this journal is to record my thoughts and feelings.  If others can relate to what I write, or find some comfort in my words that is all the better.

The following poem is on the dark side, but don't get confused with my words - I'm filled with joy.   Sometimes I just have days of contemplation where I wonder of could or could have done something different to reach my full potential.  I put my faith in God and my best to do the next right thing.  I look back on my past as a text book to learn from, not making the same mistakes again, and repeating behaviors that bring joy to me, my family and others.

The Man I Could Have Been (Thank you for tomorrow)

Father, help me to be true to myself, to others.
Help me to follow in Your ways and not look back,
Help me to see and tend to the needs of my brother.
Help me to love another as You loved me.

The man I could have been,
The man I should have been.
If I only could have met my potential
For the things that were essential.

Been the son that was always there,
The brother to my flesh,
The friend of those who befriended me,
A loyal man to prove the test.

The man I could have been,
The man I should have been.
If I only could have met my potential
For the things that were essential.

If I could have worked harder on being a good father.
Studied more for the degrees that keep the score.
If only I could have been the man who loved my wife,
Like Christ loved the Church more than His life.

The man I could have been,
The man I should have been.
If I only could have met my potential
For the things that were essential.

Thank you for tomorrow.

Gus Koerner, July 7, 2015.

May is a Time for Florida Hurricane Preparedness

It has been a quiet past few years as far as hurricanes go in Florida.  June 1 is the start of Hurricane Season in Florida.  Now is the time to prepare.

We can never let our guard down however, or think it will never happen to us.

I will be writing more later, but attached are a few resources and my plan to help us be prepared.  It appears I am writing this for others, but it is actually a to-do list for me!  I hope you get something out of it as well. :)

This link from NOAA is to a very good document on how you can keep your family safe.

The University of Florida Disaster Handbook is a great resource.

The Florida Homeowners Handbook to Prepare for Natural Hazards is also very good.

This is what I'm going to do...10 Easy Steps!

1. Get my paperwork together, insurance, home owners documentation.  If my neighborhood is declared off-limits by Emergency Management Services, they will not let me back in without proof of ownership.  Back up e-documents to "the cloud" for anywhere access.
2. Fill my cars up with gas, get ready to evacuate if necessary.
3. Work - Keep in touch with my employer.  I don't want to return home, and find out I was fired for not reporting to work.
4. Housing...Locate my nearest shelter.  Protect my house.  Stash a key in the yard somewhere for a neighbor if necessary.  Know how to turn off home utilities if necessary.
5. Have PRINTED in my files family and friends contact information. Don't rely on e-information.  Google or web services may be disabled.
6. Get 7 days of emergency food ready that will keep NOT refrigerated.  Prepare drinking water, 1 gallon per person per day, and flushing / washing water (prepare to fill the canoe with the hose.)
7. Get my Go-Files ready.  The most important financial files in a grab box ready to go.  Keep my most precious documents and photos secure and ready to grab.
8. Stuff...Get some cash on hand.  $500 to $1000 will cover most emergency expenses for 72 hours. Any cash is better than no cash.  Have books or games ready to keep you occupied for endless hours of shelter time.  Have 30 days of prescriptions on hand for all in your family.
9. Shelter - Pre-arrange for an out-of-state (or harms way) place to stay.  Humm, Who are my friends in Georgia and Alabama?  Your nearest safe-house could be within a few hours drive.
10. Communication - Keep in constant contact with my neighborhood loved ones, keep connected with my church family.  Exchange numbers.  Do they need assistance?  This is a time to connect with our fellow community members.  Keep an emergency radio handy for local information.  

Sandy Poem Number 27

Sandy Poem Number 27

A day isn't a day without you by my side,
I thank the Lord every day you chose to be my bride.

I love the way you make me feel, I love the way you smell.
I love the way my heart chimes on, because you are my Belle.

I love the way you treat me,
With patience and respect.
You help me and encourage me,
Ne’er do you neglect.

You’re the model of kindness,
With those you interact.
Giving, caring and gentle,
Is not for you a special act.

Sure you’re not perfect,
No one is of course.
But when it counts, when trouble mounts,
You are a Light source.

A woman of God, thank you.

I love you Sweetheart.

- gus