I'll never grow tired of reading this prayer of Saint Francis. What is commonly referred to as the Eleventh Step Prayer in AA, or the Prayer of St. Francis, provides us specific direction on how to live God's will.
Lord, make me a channel of thy peace that where there is hatred, I may bring love that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness that where there is discord, I may bring harmony that where there is error, I may bring truth that where there is doubt, I may bring faith that where there is despair, I may bring hope that where there are shadows, I may bring light that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted to understand, than to be understood to love, than to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life.
May all who read it find comfort and strength.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Wrestling With Obedience
I was raised in a church who's faith was very obedience dependant. Sure, they acknowledged the sacrifice of Jesus and the saving of all mankind by His Atonement - but they also placed obedience to God's Laws as prerequisite to ultimate salvation. By ultimate salvation I mean a Celestial kind of glory, or "better" Heaven than the rest of Christ's followers might possibly attain.
This way of believing, supported by the Bible in their view, goes directly in the face of mainstream Christianity - hence the struggle I've had.
In our daily walk with God as we understand Him, we must realize and know that we can only do our best and if we are making that sincere effort, asking God for help, that's all we can do. For me (and many) obedience to God's commandments is our way of saying "thank you" to our Creator and opens up special opportunities for us to follow His Spirit and accomplish His will.
This way of believing, supported by the Bible in their view, goes directly in the face of mainstream Christianity - hence the struggle I've had.
In our daily walk with God as we understand Him, we must realize and know that we can only do our best and if we are making that sincere effort, asking God for help, that's all we can do. For me (and many) obedience to God's commandments is our way of saying "thank you" to our Creator and opens up special opportunities for us to follow His Spirit and accomplish His will.
Friday, February 15, 2013
My Spiritual Journey - My Upbringing, Part 2
I was born in 1959 to the parents of Karl and Irene in Salt Lake City, Utah. I am the youngest of six children. Both of my parents were members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS) or Mormon church. As an infant I was blessed and named in the church shortly after birth. I do not remember ever being associated with any other faith or religion. My mom was a devout member of the LDS church from my earliest memories until she died in 2001, as was her entire family in Utah and Idaho. My dad was raised as a Minnesota Lutheran and later converted to the Mormon church not long after he married my mom. I have two brothers and three sisters. From oldest down, they include Karl, Kristi, Julia, John and Irene.
The three oldest children I know were active LDS. Karl and Julia served as missionaries for two or three years when they were in their twenties, both in Taiwan. My oldest sister Kristi married a returned missionary and has always fully embraced her faith. Growing up we lived in Texas, and I recollect my sister Irene going to church quite frequently growing up, and her having friends there. My brother John went to church as I recall, but with our age and interest difference (~8 years), we didn’t communicate very much. My attendance at the Mormon church was much less than my siblings. I recall not wanting to go, my dad not going very often, and sometimes my mom dropping me off at Wednesday night meetings. The talk of going to church virtually always produced an argument in the family. The reasons for me not wanting to attend were not philosophical, but social. I didn’t have any friends there. There may have been one other kid from my school there, but we weren’t good friends.
During that time I knew of God. At eight years old, I was baptized on a Saturday afternoon. I was wearing all white clothes, and so did the man who baptized me. I think it was my dad, but I am not sure. To this day I remember the man saying a prayer, and dunking me fully under water. LDS people baptize by immersion, and do so in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. I remember two witnesses watching real close, and how clean I felt afterwards. After I dried off and changed clothes, I sat in a chair in front of a small group of friends and some men put their hands on my head, and said a prayer including the words “receive the Holy Ghost”. I know my dad was one of the men this time. This is not a unique experience for young Mormon people. It happens this way with most LDS children at the age of eight, when they are considered the “age of accountability”.
The three oldest children I know were active LDS. Karl and Julia served as missionaries for two or three years when they were in their twenties, both in Taiwan. My oldest sister Kristi married a returned missionary and has always fully embraced her faith. Growing up we lived in Texas, and I recollect my sister Irene going to church quite frequently growing up, and her having friends there. My brother John went to church as I recall, but with our age and interest difference (~8 years), we didn’t communicate very much. My attendance at the Mormon church was much less than my siblings. I recall not wanting to go, my dad not going very often, and sometimes my mom dropping me off at Wednesday night meetings. The talk of going to church virtually always produced an argument in the family. The reasons for me not wanting to attend were not philosophical, but social. I didn’t have any friends there. There may have been one other kid from my school there, but we weren’t good friends.
During that time I knew of God. At eight years old, I was baptized on a Saturday afternoon. I was wearing all white clothes, and so did the man who baptized me. I think it was my dad, but I am not sure. To this day I remember the man saying a prayer, and dunking me fully under water. LDS people baptize by immersion, and do so in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. I remember two witnesses watching real close, and how clean I felt afterwards. After I dried off and changed clothes, I sat in a chair in front of a small group of friends and some men put their hands on my head, and said a prayer including the words “receive the Holy Ghost”. I know my dad was one of the men this time. This is not a unique experience for young Mormon people. It happens this way with most LDS children at the age of eight, when they are considered the “age of accountability”.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
My Spiritual Journey - Introduction, Part 1
This story may change over time due to my recollection of facts and motivations, but overall it is quite accurate. I have no idea how my father or grand-father felt about God, and I don’t want that to happen to my kids with me.
I was raised in a Christian home by wonderful parents, with normal human characteristics. They taught me to acknowledge God and believe in Jesus. Over time that belief has developed and become my most important treasure, and I want my family to appreciate my journey and take from it an example to learn from, for good and for bad. Experiences and people who challenge us, sometime teach us more than those we readily accept or agree with. My faith is similar to many others, but different than most. One thing for certain is that I’m not ashamed of it, and I want my family to use it to build their own, find their own unique relationship with God, nurture it, and in turn share it with others.
My Most Significant Ash Wednesday Ever
Last night I rushed to the church to attend the Ash Wednesday service, and I got there right on time. The irony was I didn't know why I was there, other than its a Christian tradition and that's where I needed to be.
The Pastor did a great job explaining to us the reason for the holiday. She explained that on this day, ashes are placed on the foreheads of the congregation, marking each forehead with the sign of the cross. Traditionally people also wore sackcloth, or clothing made from the rough material of burlap. This ritual echoes the ancient eastern tradition of throwing ashes over one's head to signify repentance before God. In her sermon she explained that this day signifies the first day of Lent, representing the first day Christ went out into the wilderness and fasted for forty days. At the end of the forty days will come Good Friday, the day of Crucifixion and then Easter, the day of Resurrection.
The scripture she read was 1 Samuel 15:22 - But Samuel replied: “Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams. I really like this approach to the term sacrifice. When we obey, we are giving up self-will, which is very much a human sacrifice, shown to us by the ultimate sacrifice and act of obedience - Jesus giving himself up on the cross. He obeyed His Father.
I don't know if I fully understand the significance of the event, but to me it is a day of sorrow and repentance for the things that I've done wrong, my disobedience to God, keeping His commandments and most of all the affect it has had on those around me. After receiving the charcoal marking on my forehead, I went to the alter to pray. I prayed for forgiveness and the strength to follow Christ fully in the future. When I arose, I felt the relief from the forgiveness that we receive from Jesus, but still sorrowful because those I've sinned against that are not so easily willing to forgive, and are unlikely to forget. I struggle with regret and shame from some of the things I've done wrong.
The good news is...is that Christ is working in us and in the lives of others. We interact, and in doing so bless and sin against our fellowman and loved ones. It is a cycle of love, forgiveness and accepting each other for our humanness. At the alter I also took a vow of sacrifice for the next forty days. My sacrifice is self-will. I made a promise to God to study the Bible everyday for this period, and I look forward to doing so.
The Pastor did a great job explaining to us the reason for the holiday. She explained that on this day, ashes are placed on the foreheads of the congregation, marking each forehead with the sign of the cross. Traditionally people also wore sackcloth, or clothing made from the rough material of burlap. This ritual echoes the ancient eastern tradition of throwing ashes over one's head to signify repentance before God. In her sermon she explained that this day signifies the first day of Lent, representing the first day Christ went out into the wilderness and fasted for forty days. At the end of the forty days will come Good Friday, the day of Crucifixion and then Easter, the day of Resurrection.
The scripture she read was 1 Samuel 15:22 - But Samuel replied: “Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams. I really like this approach to the term sacrifice. When we obey, we are giving up self-will, which is very much a human sacrifice, shown to us by the ultimate sacrifice and act of obedience - Jesus giving himself up on the cross. He obeyed His Father.
I don't know if I fully understand the significance of the event, but to me it is a day of sorrow and repentance for the things that I've done wrong, my disobedience to God, keeping His commandments and most of all the affect it has had on those around me. After receiving the charcoal marking on my forehead, I went to the alter to pray. I prayed for forgiveness and the strength to follow Christ fully in the future. When I arose, I felt the relief from the forgiveness that we receive from Jesus, but still sorrowful because those I've sinned against that are not so easily willing to forgive, and are unlikely to forget. I struggle with regret and shame from some of the things I've done wrong.
The good news is...is that Christ is working in us and in the lives of others. We interact, and in doing so bless and sin against our fellowman and loved ones. It is a cycle of love, forgiveness and accepting each other for our humanness. At the alter I also took a vow of sacrifice for the next forty days. My sacrifice is self-will. I made a promise to God to study the Bible everyday for this period, and I look forward to doing so.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Back onboard, and looking forward.
It has been a long time since my last post, and I feel really guilty! - But life happens, no?
Since that time, I have started working at a Florida prison teaching inmates that are soon to be released. We have a good curriculum, but we go beyond that in our everyday discussions. The goal is to give them practical skills to help them find success. Over time I will be sharing with you some of the topics of our discussions and how they relate with our daily walk with God.
Another important note - I am being called to the ministry in a more important and significant way. I'm not sure what that quite looks like yet, but its exciting.
Since that time, I have started working at a Florida prison teaching inmates that are soon to be released. We have a good curriculum, but we go beyond that in our everyday discussions. The goal is to give them practical skills to help them find success. Over time I will be sharing with you some of the topics of our discussions and how they relate with our daily walk with God.
Another important note - I am being called to the ministry in a more important and significant way. I'm not sure what that quite looks like yet, but its exciting.
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