Thursday, July 17, 2014

Journal Entry - I Am. (Who are you?)

This entry was originally written June 14, 2014. Warning - Journal entries are less consistent and are more just thoughts on a page, but I want to include them, pointing out an overall theme.  

The theme below answers the question, "Who am I?"  

They aren't  just random words, or descriptive words with their opposites.  I own each and every one of them in some way, or have at some point in the past.  Some of the words are dark, some encouraging.  As you read them, ask yourself, Is that me?  I encourage my readers to make their own list.  Who are you?  Really?  (Family and friends, don't freak out when the words get dark.  I'm really okay.)

Journal, June 14, 2014, 1:45 AM - I have been deeply considering who I actually am. First, I would like to start with my Creation Statement I developed back in 1992 while on a self-knowledge retreat.  I may phrase it differently today, but it is what it is...  I am a warm, inspiring, beautiful man.  But I am, or have been depressed, encouraged, hopeful, anxious, worried, sad, shameful, 24601, brave, nervous, suicidal, obligated, a father, a husband, a brother, a son, addict, recovering, giving up, carrying on, strong, faithful, consistent, determined, selfish, aware, present, grateful, jealous, forgiving, begrudging, willing, hoping, doubtful, dedicated, loyal, trustworthy, untrustworthy, reverent, trusting, weak, conscientious, tired, cynical, impatient, annoyed, grateful, blessed.

Random thought -  I want to write a book, Sacred Earth.

Back to I Am...  I am woodsman, outdoorsman, navigator, mapper, sleep deprived, friend, lethargic, swimmer, dog daddy, teacher, instructor, shooter, archer, napper, facilitator, counselor, friend, lawn mower, tree trimmer, confidant, manipulator, honest, liar, unworthy, worthy, Mormon, Catholic, Methodist, Presbyterian, contemplative, helpful, courteous, kind, unclean, officer, writer, reader, thirsty for knowledge, web surfer, caring, cooperative, learner, leader, follower, homesick, moody, sad, faker.  I am Jean Valjean.  Comedian, silly, kidder, over analyzer, lonely, law abiding, distressed, Javert, Younger brother, Older brother (Luke 15), mortal, repentant, forthright, bigot, accepting, forgiving, deceiving, nature lover, non-enduring, fatalistic, deaf, winner, loser, nerd, old, sneaky, sexist, gay friendly, homophobic, racist, slothful, hardworking, sacrificing, complaining, pessimist, optimist, sailor, knot tyer, dipper, stargazer, humble, arrogant, demanding, self serving, bald, overweight, can-doer, drop out, forgetful, pro-choice, republican.

Human.

Obsessive, compulsive, limitless, limited, shortsighted, visionary, spiritual, religious, anti-authoritarian, superficial, deep rooted, moderate, conservative, moderately conservative, risk taker, health aware, over-indulgent, sinner, redeemed, forgiven.

Who are you?  Who do I want to be?  With this knowledge we can change the outcome.

End Note: My wife shared with me this week what they teach the kids in vacation Bible school.  They have the kids look in the mirror and say to themselves, "You are God's Masterpiece because of Jesus."  I like that.  We need to remember we're all God's children, and he don't make no junk!

Feel free to add your comments, share with your friends and follow me on Twitter @guskoerner or @VOTMinistry.  I'm not too good with Facebook.

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