Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Loving an Addict, Guest Story

Being the spouse of an addict is probably one of the toughest things I have ever been through, and I have been through a lot. To love someone so much and to see what substances do to them can be completely heart wrenching. But when you love someone enough, the way that God loves us, you stick by their side. You accept the circumstances and you support them as they go through their addiction and try to overcome. You don’t get upset because they slip up. You continue to love them and give it to God. After all, if you ask, you will receive. It may not be when or how you want it to be, but it will be how and when God wants it to be.

My husband has cursed me out and said the most horrible things, all because he wanted some beer. I would get so upset and he would make me feel so guilty, that I would cave and get him what he wanted, just because I did not want him to be upset with me. After all, he worked so hard all day and he deserved it, right? Plus, he would apologize later and everything would be okay in his eyes. It wasn’t okay though. Our marriage was falling apart because of his alcoholism and the fact that instead of helping him get through his urges, I was enabling him. I began praying to God every day and night. When he wanted a drink, I would hide the keys and block his way from getting out the door. But the addict in him always found a way to get a drink. I refused to give up though. However, instead of trying to stop him, I let him do what he wanted. I began to focus more on my children and myself and let God handle my husband. I still kept praying and believing, but I knew I would not be the one to make him stop drinking. It was between him and God.

On December 31, 2011, my husband made the decision to go into the New Year sober, to recommit himself to our marriage, family, and most of all to his Lord and Savior. It has been over three months since he made this decision and I must say it has been a very rough three months. But through the grace of God, he is finally overcoming his addiction. I see him get stronger every day. That craving is still there, but with God by his side and with my love and support, he gets through it. I thank God every day for helping not only him get through his addiction, but also for giving me the strength to be able to stay in the marriage and get through it with him.

- By Dawn


Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing your story - it's so encouraging. I plan to pass it along to my best friend who's husband has been verbally abusing her for their entire marriage of almost 15 years. After exhausting many futile efforts, she finally accepted that she wouldn't be the one to change him and she gave it to God. Now she prays constantly for his salvation, knowing that will make all the difference, and for strength to carry on. She tries to keep their children as removed from it as possible, needing now to explain his actions to their children in the most positive way so they won't lose respect for him but understand how hard life is without Jesus. That your faith and strength through the grace of God carried you through the valley is a testimony to His holy power. Your commitment to your husband is highly commendable, and no doubt your marriage will be so blessed as your husband continues to heal and grow stronger. You're definitely a Proverbs 31 woman!

Dawn said...

Thanks for the kind words. I will definitely be praying for your friend and her husband. It's amazing what God can do in the lives of those who seek him. My husband would have nothing to do with God but I continued to pray for him daily and once he saw how focused I was on God and the positivity and love I showed, he finally decided to seek him also. God orchestrates everything in our lives and if we have faith it will all be orchestrated in our favor! -Dawn

Mr. Gus said...

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