Friday, March 2, 2012

What sign am I?

About two or three years ago our church did the What sign are you? message in worship service.  See this link for another congregation.  I couldn't do it.  I think I really was sick that day, but even if I wasn't I still wouldn't have done it.  I didn't want to air my dirty laundry in front of my friends.  I'm big on anonymity.

This sign to the left could have been mine.

My Mom told me when I was a kid that my Dad stopped drinking beer when my sister took an open one in the fridge and drank some of it when she was a toddler.  It just dawned on me this morning that I used that as permission to drink later in life.  My Dad drank, but had to quit because of my big sister and not for any other reason could have been my reasoning.  My first time to get drunk was when I was 15 or 16.  I had my one and only DUI related accident when I was 17, but no one knew it besides me and my Mom.  I drank in college and pretty much was obsessed with alcohol from then on.

Skip forward 25 years and I found myself drinking way too much.  I knew how bad that was (in my head) so I went to one of those confidential Employee Assistance Program counselors for substance abuse and he sent me to an AA meeting.  AA was just what I needed, and I picked up my white chip and did about 85 meetings in 90 days.

I am still in recovery.  It has been about a year since I had my last drink.  For the longest time I would stay sober for a year and then drink constant for two months.  The wasted time, damaged relationships and squandered money is a huge part of that period of my life.

Today by the grace of God I have no desire to drink, and my family is still healing.  I'll talk to you another day about guilt and regret, because today I am filled with gratitude over my sobriety, my family and all the blessings in my life.
By Andrew

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